Last week I posted an open letter to my son, William, who I had shouted at earlier the same day. He was being naughty but I know that I should not have shouted. The letter was a lasting apology and … Continue reading
Category Archives: mummy
Silent Sunday
Firework Flashback
What a difference a year makes!
We have just had a lovely evening with family, fireworks, a bonfire and hot dogs.
There is something wonderful about bonfire night.
I have fond memories of this night as a child. My parents hosted our family bonfire nights serving hot dogs and steaming mugs of soup as I did tonight. We would all stand around a bonfire and have sparklers too.
Tonight we had a very smoky bonfire and some fireworks too. William loved the fireworks but Esther was not so sure.
Last night we did not have fireworks of the conventional kind but I did suffer an emotional outburst of my own.
What a difference a year makes!
I had a bit of a meltdown yesterday.
I am just so tired and the babies were screaming all day and I just lost it and screamed back.
I had been home alone with them for 8 hours and had had a couple of bad nights and was just exhausted.
I felt so terrible that I burst into tears and sobbed til David came home and found me.
I scared myself.
It just doesn’t seem to be getting any easier.
I always thought that I would be a good Mum and would find this something I enjoyed but at the moment it just feels like hard work and I feel sad a lot of the time and then I feel guilty for feeling sad.
I am frustrated that the babies have no clue who I am.
I am scared that I am not going to be a very good Mum.
I want to be better, I want things to get better.
Sorry for the rant. I just wanted to get in touch with someone and let off some steam and hope for a friendly reply.
I sound so ungrateful don’t I?
I’m not, I love the babies so much and I am so thankful for them but they really are such hard work and at the moment for very little in return.
Rubbish day x
Bump Watch: 14+2 or 13+2???
Today I am feeling very confused after another NHS scan. Last week I had a private nuchal scan that dated me at 13 weeks. Today, 9 days later, I had my NHS nuchal scan that dates me at 13 weeks … Continue reading
Plum Helps Bliss Babies Have The Best Start In Life
Regular readers of Edspire will know that Bliss is a charity close to our hearts. Esther and William were born at 27 weeks gestation and the support that I received from Bliss and the friends I made through their forums … Continue reading
Dear William (The Day Mummy Lost Her Temper!)
Dear William As I write this you are lying beside Esther in your buggy, fast asleep. A prefect picture of peace. You both look so still and make no sound apart from your very gentle snoring! There is something magical … Continue reading
Coming Home
My nephew Toby is doing really well at home with his Mummy and Daddy. My sister is very good at sending daily updates just as I did when Esther and William first came home. With family all over the world … Continue reading
Star! Star!
Today David carved the first of our Halloween pumpkins. One for William, which will be an owl, and one for Esther which is, of course, a star! Here are some pictures of the pumpkin carving and a video clearly demonstrating … Continue reading
Bump Watch: The 12 Week Scan
Today we went to see Mr Penman for our 12 week Nuchal Scan and screening. His clinic advises that the best time for this test is at 12.5 weeks. We went today as I thought I was 12 weeks and … Continue reading