Fisher Price Topsy Tumblers Twirlin’ Whirlin’ Fun Park for Toys R Us

We have a new favourite toy in the Edspire household. Another hit from Toys R Us. Providing Esther and William with all the fun of the fair is the Fisher Price Topsy Tumblers Twirlin’ Whirlin’ Fun Park. The Fun Park … Continue reading

Best of Brighton Baby Expo 2011

On Sunday I took David, Esther and William to the Baby Expo in Brighton. I had been following all the build up for months and was so so excited about the show. When we got there though I could not … Continue reading

Edspire Festive Forecast: Big Jigs Princess Walker

Both Esther and William are confident on their feet. They cruise the furniture, practically run with their walkers and can both stand unaided for quite long periods of time. They have just not yet taken those all important first steps. … Continue reading

Firework Flashback

What a difference a year makes!

We have just had a lovely evening with family, fireworks, a bonfire and hot dogs.

There is something wonderful about bonfire night.

I have fond memories of this night as a child. My parents hosted our family bonfire nights serving hot dogs and steaming mugs of soup as I did tonight. We would all stand around a bonfire and have sparklers too.

Tonight we had a very smoky bonfire and some fireworks too. William loved the fireworks but Esther was not so sure.

Last night we did not have fireworks of the conventional kind but I did suffer an emotional outburst of my own.

What a difference a year makes!

I had a bit of a meltdown yesterday.
I am just so tired and the babies were screaming all day and I just lost it and screamed back.
I had been home alone with them for 8 hours and had had a couple of bad nights and was just exhausted.
I felt so terrible that I burst into tears and sobbed til David came home and found me.
I scared myself.
It just doesn’t seem to be getting any easier.
I always thought that I would be a good Mum and would find this something I enjoyed but at the moment it just feels like hard work and I feel sad a lot of the time and then I feel guilty for feeling sad.
I am frustrated that the babies have no clue who I am.
I am scared that I am not going to be a very good Mum.
I want to be better, I want things to get better.
Sorry for the rant. I just wanted to get in touch with someone and let off some steam and hope for a friendly reply.
I sound so ungrateful don’t I?
I’m not, I love the babies so much and I am so thankful for them but they really are such hard work and at the moment for very little in return.
Rubbish day x

Bump Watch: 14+2 or 13+2???

Today I am feeling very confused after another NHS scan. Last week I had a private nuchal scan that dated me at 13 weeks. Today, 9 days later, I had my NHS nuchal scan that dates me at 13 weeks … Continue reading