This post from the archives is all about mine and David’s first proper, family holiday that we have yet to go on.
We are going in June, to Northumberland, and I cannot wait.
Please read the old post here to find out more.
To read other people’s Blog Gems please visit the linky at the King and Eye
This week has been a difficult week for me as Esther, William and David have all been quite unwell. As has my cousin who was hoping to come round and support us while she was off work this week. However this difficulty has lead to one of my main reasons for being cheerful, I have asked my Mum to come and stay for a few weeks, and I am really really looking forward to spending some proper time with her. More on that in a minute.
My reasons for being cheerily grateful this week …
My sister’s wedding was a wonderful occasion and she was a beautiful bride!
It really was a great day and Julie did not stop smiling throughout. I did not stop crying! People kept asking me on the run up to the day “Will you be emotional when your sister gets married?” and I said no. I really did not think that I would be but as soon as I woke up that morning the tears welled up. I could not look at Julie without crying. She was so beautiful and I felt so so proud. My little sister was a bride and now she is a wife! Congratulations again Mrs Newsome!
Esther and William seem to be surviving their first cold without needing medical intervention
I think that they both have the same cold on top of which they are teething but oh how different they behave!! Esther is quietly getting on with life while William is letting everyone know that he is not very well! So so different. He is definitely suffering though our William. He screams with pain and his cheeks are red raw. He is also a total snot monster and seems to be off his food. But I am thankful, so thankful, that 3 days in and he does not seem to be getting worse. I am hoping that this time hospitalisation has been avoided. Touch wood!
Esther and William are now sleeping in a big cot!
When we got home from the wedding on Sunday night we did not rebuild the bedside co-sleeper instead we transferred both babies into one traditional wooden cot. It is still beside our bed to make night feeding easier but it is a big, proper babies cot. They sleep side by side horizontally across the cot. We plan to keep them together until after our wedding in September when they will be one year corrected age, then they will graduate again to a cot bed of their very own!
This blog has entered the Wikio Top 500 Parenting Blogs at 396!!!
Today I received an email telling me that my blog has entered the Top 500 of the Wikio UK Blog Ranking in the category of Parenting. Woo Hoo! And when I checked my ranking it is 396! This has not only made me cheerful, it has made me determined to be a better blogger and to make my way up the ranks! One can only try! One of the things that I am hoping to do is move my blog and rename it to make it more memorable and appropriate for the content it now includes. I have a website as well as this blog called Edspire and so may combine the two and host my writing there.
My Mum is coming to stay!
My parents live in Spain and though we seem them quite regularly it is not the same as having them here when I need them. Subconsciously I think that this has been really getting to me since my operation and the babies being born. It has, from my point of view, really affected my relationship with my parents. Today I made the first step in putting things right by asking my Mum to come and stay. I should have done it weeks ago as we have desperately needed help but something inside me just wouldn’t let that be. Now I have realised, through Esther actually, that this is not the right way to be. I loved my Nan more than all the world and my children deserve to have a chance at a similar relationship with theirs. Also, I would hate it if Esther acted toward me as I have been doing to my Mum recently. I have to move on from the bad birth of Esther and William and do everything I can to give them the good life they deserve. David’s family are wonderful but I want Esther and William to know my side of the family too, and I want my Mum and I to be friends, something I don’t think we have ever been. Lets hope that we can all start again and make things work as they should x That really will be something to be cheerful about!
If you are a Mummy or Daddy of twins, please read this post and if you can, please reply.
Esther and William are now nearly 7 months old. They are good babies on the whole though William can be quite easy to upset and hard to settle sometimes. At the moment they are both teething and we are 2 days in to their first ever cold. I am trying so hard to be a good Mum but even with the support of my work from home partner I am still finding it incredibly hard. I was wondering if anyone had any ideas for making things easier?
This week is particularly bad because of the illness and teething but I often find myself exhausted with too much to do and wondering what I can do to make this work.
I love my children dearly and I want to do right by them but increasingly I am feeling that I just don’t know how.
We have had a hard start to parenting, David and I. The twins’ arrived early after major abdominal surgery for me, from which I am not sure I have ever really recovered physically or emotionally. 59 days in NICU also took their toll and though it is wonderful having our babies home now it has been lonely through the winter months as we have tried our best to protect them from infection and diseaase. And winter is not over yet!
I know I am sounding desperate and I don’t mean to. I know that after 5 cycles of IVF I really am the luckiest girl in the world to have two beautiful babies, a boy and a girl, our family could be complete. I am grateful and I count my blessings every day but I do not feel that I am appreciating the babies or motherhood as I should. I don’t feel that I ever have the time.
I envy mothers of single babies and think how much easier life must be with one. How you can meet one child’s needs, hug them as soon as they cry and hold them as long as they need. I feel that I am cutting myself in two and always feel that one babies’ needs are not being met. William is so ill at the moment he should be in my arms all the time but Esther needs me too and she does not complain so quiet and good natured is she, but I am aware and I feel torn. Why can I not be a good enough mother for two?
And I am not alone by any means. David is home most days but he is trying to run his business. I feel so guilty taking up his time but we need him every day, he feels guilty if he does not help, but he is also impatient to be focusing on his work.
On a good day I am fine alone and I enjoy being Mummy, on a difficult day I struggle but I still enjoy the challenges that being a Mummy brings, on a bad day it is awful and I often end up in tears.
Today is one of those days. Even David, the calm one, is frustrated today as he is getting nothing done. He wants me to get help. With the babies, with the house, help?
It is 21.45 and we have only just got both babies to sleep. We have had dinner but I cannot easily get in or out of the lounge because of baby stuff, David is still working at his computer and I am about to drink yet another cold cup of tea. My airing cupboard is full of damp washing that needs sorting and the bathroom is full of more washing to do. We are not unpacked from last weekend away and the babies are being fed from packets and jars. I am about to eat my fifth cereal bar of the day. Trying to lose weight is just not going to work!
I thought long and hard about posting this. I am hoping that someone will read it who will know what we should do.
I want to enjoy my children. Have time to play with them. I want to wake up from a whole nights sleep feeling like I could take on the world. I used to feel like that once.
We do have good days. We have good moments in most days but dark dark shadows loom over them. We laugh together, we play, we read and we sing. We cuddle and we chat. I know that I am a good Mum, a potentially excellent one I am just scared that right now I am losing my way.
When I was pregnant I imagined the singing, the stories, wearing a baby round the house, walks to the park, coffee with friends, baby groups and classes, making friends with other new Mums …
As it is I will go to bed in a minute, the house still a mess, the washing undone, I will wake through the night to feed and in the morning this will start all over again and before we know it it will be bath time. I will probably have spoken to no one apart from increasingly short exchanges with David about how we need help!
If you are reading this and you are a parent of twins please please let me know how you make it work because I want to make this family a happy one. Please point us in the right direction.
Putting things in Perspective – Learning to See
http://www.childrensvision.com/development.htm
Thank you to Sticky Fingers for the inspiration for this blog from her The Gallery archives.
Over at Kate Takes 5 a new listography challenge has been raised. To list the things I would like this Valentines Day. Here goes …
A whole nights sleep
Esther and William were born on 24th July 2010 after life saving abdominal suregry for me. This surgery together with pregnancy and then motherhood mean that I have not slept through the night for as long as I can remember, at least 8 months. I am tired and I need sleep. I want to remember what it feels like to awake refreshed and feeling raring to go.
A long hot soak with a good long book
I would like a soak in the suds with a saga! I have not read a book for over 6 months, not a full length adult book that it is not about babies, sleep and routines! I would like to dive into the depths of the bath and wallow in the warm shallows of a novel.
A sumptuous meal cooked for me while I enjoy a drink with my fiance
At this point I don’t really want to leave my house but I would love to enjoy a meal that I have not planned, prepared or cooked, and that is not Chinese takeaway. I would like to have soft music playing in the background and candle flames reflected in our eyes as we sit and whisper sweet nothings instead of compete with one another about who is feeling the most tired and why!
A back massage
I would like to lie and let my mind wander as healing hands work their wonder on my poorly aching back. From breastfeeding and bending over cots, chairs, buggies and play equipment my poor weary spine has never felt so neglected, so old. A massage would be a real treat that I would relish for days and weeks to come.
A word
I want my babies to speak. To utter one word. I know that I have a while to wait yet but I am so excited for when it comes. A word, the word, one word. What a wonderful valentine that would be for David and I. We wait. What a funny valentine!
Happy Valentines Day everybody, why not pop over to Kate Takes 5 to share some more romantic desires!
“A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for”
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This week has been a week of firsts, and cheerful firsts at that! I have lots of reasons to be cheerful this week and here are some that I have chosen to share.
As with previous weeks I have chosen photos to illustrate each point but they are shown together in the gallery at the end of the post.
My Fiance has started his 2011 challenge – to swim in the sea at least once every month!
David and I both love the water but for me it has to be warm, at least the weather if not the water! David however enjoys the sea in all seasons and this year he wants to make sure that at least once each month he swims in the sea, wherever we may be. On Sunday we went to Winchelsea in East Sussex with my parents. My Dad captured these great shots as David braved the waves of Winchelsea Beach. Mad fool! I love him dearly exactly because of things like this x He makes me smile so much x
I had a wonderful few days introducing my sister to her niece and nephew
My little sister, Julie, is home from Australia to get married. Her wedding is on Saturday. She took some precious time out of her busy pre-nup schedule to get to know her niece and nephew. It has been just lovely having her around and we will miss her very much now that she has gone. She was a natural with the babies and now we are hoping that Esther and William may soon have some new cousins to play with, albeit on the other side of the planet! Have a wonderful wedding wee sis, we will see you there!!
I am not alone as a Premmie Mum
I struggle some days with feeling alone and lonely and misunderstood. Kylie Hodges has shown me that this is not true. I am such an avid reader of this blog and I hope that one day I will get to meet Kylie and her beautiful little boy, Joseph. Thank you for being such a great friend and support. Your virtual shoulder to cry on means so much. Thank You.
http://notevena.blogspot.com/2011/02/being-mum-to-premature-baby.html
I went on the train to town with the babies
For ages I have been wanting to take the babies on the 9 minute train journey to our nearest town but I have not been brave enough. Today I did it, with my sister, and it was really good. We had a good girly day shopping and it was so good to get out. We had coffee and I breastfed in public too. It is not something I would want to do all the time but I am glad that now I have doen it once I will not be too worried to try it again. Spring is coming, the end of cold and flu season and time for us to get out and about! How exciting, a definite reason to be full of cheer.
Still need more stories to make you smile. Follow this link to Mummy from the Heart’s Blog to find more Reasons to be Cheerful!
My Top 5 Mummy Buys is a Blog Hop started by the brilliant Bod for Tea, as a Mum in my mid 30s I was a huge Bod fan as a child, as a Mummy I am a fan of … Continue reading
This is quite a self indulgent post as I am having a bit of a down day. To cheer myself up I have been looking back through photos of the past few months and finding those that I think portray me … Continue reading
My musical tastes have evolved through the years but instead of changing completely my love of music has grown stronger and my repertoire wider. This is something not everyone understands and so depending on who you are you may only know part of my musical taste – the chosen few will know the full extent of my listening pleasures. From Robbie to Kylie to Buddy – The Killers, The Cure, The Chemical Brothers – Johnny Cash, Brenda Lee, Connie Francis – West Side Story, Wizard of Oz, Les Mis – Goldie, Groove Armada, Massive Attack and Basement Jaxx. I love them all and want my children to sample each and everyone of them … and more …
The music I loved in my own childhood was heavily influenced by my parents. In particular one mix tape that we listened to over and over in the car featuring Buddy Holly, The Everly Brothers, Paul Anka, Neil Sedaka and more … It was badly recorded and over recorded and we knew where all the breaks in the songs came and what song came next. I loved 50s and 60s music as a child and I still do. I definitely want my children to understand the history and significance of rock and roll.
As a child of the 80s there was a time I am afraid to say when I loved all things Stock, Aitken and Waterman, especially Kylie. I still do have a secret thing for Kylie and have already introduced my daughter to such classics as Never Too Late and Wouldn’t Change A Thing. Thank you You Tube!
Around this time my cousins also introduced me to INXS, Bon Jovi and Aerosmith, alongside Wham! Another branch on my tree of music was born. Many of my dips and dives into different artists and bands have been influenced by Paul and Glen (the cousins) – Wet Wet Wet, AHa!!, George Michael and much much more.
As a young teenage I loved James, EMF, The Farm, Happy Mondays, Stone Roses and The Cure amongst others. I also love Madonna and began to get into Rave! At Youth Club I loved Guns n Roses but would equally love dancing to Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch! Oh the memories!
As an older teenager my heart was firmly attached to dance music particularly house but also drum and bass whilst frequenting Cream at University! I spent many mispent nights at Cream, Gatecrasher and many other, smaller, better, underground clubs across Europe. I danced right through to my late 20s, until I was 30. During this time I saw The Prodigy and Moby live many times and just LOVED them!
Alongside dance though I also loved alternative music particularly Tori Amos, Massive Attack, Primal Scream, Leftfield, Radiohead, The Verve, REM, Ocean Colour Scene, The Levellers, Bjork and there was still an allegiance to rock / grunge – U2, Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Alice in Chains, Soundgarden, Faith No More, Foo Fighters. I also liked Def Leppard at some point and Metallica too.
And then came Brit Pop – Oasis or Blur – I unashamedly loved BOTH! And I still do! I also love Dodgy. I love Dodgy!!
More recently I have fallen in love with The Killers and The White Stripes with thanks to David for these.
I could go on and on and on about music and there will always be something or someone that I would have forgotten to mention.
Here are some songs though that I would not want my children to miss – in no particular order and again there will be omissions that I will kick myself for later!
Put Your Head On My Shoulder – Paul Anka
Grace – U2 (contributing factor to Esther’s middle name)
If You’re Thinking Of Me – Dodgy
No Regrets – Robbie Williams
Hotel Yorba – The White Stripes (David was singing this to me when I first realised we would get married, way back in 2007, just weeks after we had met)
Take Me to the Place Where the White Boys Dance – The Killers (listened to on journeys to and fro NICU)
Wires – Athlete (a tale of a premature baby)
At My Most Beautiful – REM (Thinking this will be the song that I walk down the aisle to!)
I’ll Stop the World – The Cure (Mine and David’s song)
Groove Is In The Heart – DeeLite
At the River – Groove Armada
Cherish – Madonna
Movin’ On Up – Primal Scream
Waterfall – The Stone Roses
Champagne Supernova – Oasis
This is a Low – Blur
Leftism – Leftfield (whole album)
Blue Lines – Massive Attack (whole album)
… there are just so many more …
I can feel a muscial evening coming on very soon. How I love mornings when you wake up to find your CD collection spread out all over the floor where you have been playing song after song in a haze of memory and music. I want my children to have that. I want my children to grab music, embrace it and let it feed their soul, fuel their lives and be the soundtrack to their memories.
Music and life go hand in hand and help everyone tell their story.
I am sure that music will play a huge part in my children knowing mine.
This post was inspired by http://ghostwritermummy.wordpress.com/2011/01/16/music-i-want-my-children-to-listen-to-daniel-johnston/
I am following Kate Takes 5’s Listography. I am going to share with you information about me and my life through a framework of lists, beginning with – My Top 5 Good Things About Having Kids. As I write this … Continue reading
