Regular readers of Edspire will know that I cannot drive. Therefore I am out and about on trains and foot with Esther and William every day bumping into lots of members of Joe Public. The one retort that I hear … Continue reading
Category Archives: Baby
Book Review: I Love You, Little Monkey
Last week I posted an open letter to my son, William, who I had shouted at earlier the same day. He was being naughty but I know that I should not have shouted. The letter was a lasting apology and … Continue reading
Silent Sunday
Firework Flashback
What a difference a year makes!
We have just had a lovely evening with family, fireworks, a bonfire and hot dogs.
There is something wonderful about bonfire night.
I have fond memories of this night as a child. My parents hosted our family bonfire nights serving hot dogs and steaming mugs of soup as I did tonight. We would all stand around a bonfire and have sparklers too.
Tonight we had a very smoky bonfire and some fireworks too. William loved the fireworks but Esther was not so sure.
Last night we did not have fireworks of the conventional kind but I did suffer an emotional outburst of my own.
What a difference a year makes!
I had a bit of a meltdown yesterday.
I am just so tired and the babies were screaming all day and I just lost it and screamed back.
I had been home alone with them for 8 hours and had had a couple of bad nights and was just exhausted.
I felt so terrible that I burst into tears and sobbed til David came home and found me.
I scared myself.
It just doesn’t seem to be getting any easier.
I always thought that I would be a good Mum and would find this something I enjoyed but at the moment it just feels like hard work and I feel sad a lot of the time and then I feel guilty for feeling sad.
I am frustrated that the babies have no clue who I am.
I am scared that I am not going to be a very good Mum.
I want to be better, I want things to get better.
Sorry for the rant. I just wanted to get in touch with someone and let off some steam and hope for a friendly reply.
I sound so ungrateful don’t I?
I’m not, I love the babies so much and I am so thankful for them but they really are such hard work and at the moment for very little in return.
Rubbish day x
Bump Watch: 14+2 or 13+2???
Today I am feeling very confused after another NHS scan. Last week I had a private nuchal scan that dated me at 13 weeks. Today, 9 days later, I had my NHS nuchal scan that dates me at 13 weeks … Continue reading
Plum Helps Bliss Babies Have The Best Start In Life
Regular readers of Edspire will know that Bliss is a charity close to our hearts. Esther and William were born at 27 weeks gestation and the support that I received from Bliss and the friends I made through their forums … Continue reading
Dear William (The Day Mummy Lost Her Temper!)
Dear William As I write this you are lying beside Esther in your buggy, fast asleep. A prefect picture of peace. You both look so still and make no sound apart from your very gentle snoring! There is something magical … Continue reading
John Crane Introduces Sevi
Here in the Edspire Household we are big fans of John Crane as I know that many families are. We are very excited about their latest collaboration with traditional toy specialists Sevi. This company produces quality wooden toys and decorations … Continue reading
Coming Home
My nephew Toby is doing really well at home with his Mummy and Daddy. My sister is very good at sending daily updates just as I did when Esther and William first came home. With family all over the world … Continue reading
Star! Star!
Today David carved the first of our Halloween pumpkins. One for William, which will be an owl, and one for Esther which is, of course, a star! Here are some pictures of the pumpkin carving and a video clearly demonstrating … Continue reading