It has been 8 years since our baby Tilda died
And in that time I have not been able to read a single adult book
I have bought books and been bought books
But have not felt able to read them
Today I finished reading my first adult book since Baby Tilda died
I was inspired to read again by my eldest daughter Esther
She currently loves all the books that I loved at her age
Carrie’s War
I Am David
The Silver Sword
When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit
Having recently read The Midnight Guardians and After The War together
Esther wants to read more and learn more about the Second World War
And in particular, the Holocaust
Together we are now reading The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas
It has made me want to read again about the war and the Holocaust
So that I can talk to Esther about it
The book I have just finished is Franci’s War by Franci Rabinowitz Epstein
Franci is a Jewish girl, in her early 20s, living in Prague
In September of 1942, Franci and her parents are called up for a transport to Terezin
Franci could be excused on medical grounds but she chooses to go with her parents
I totally understand that decision
At that point they all want and need to be together
Franci wants to care for her parents, protect them
And she does not want to be left behind and alone in Prague
When Franci’s parents are later transported on from Terezin
It is gut wrenching and heart breaking to read
Incredibly difficult to imagine the pain
When her father breaks down and gives up all hope
My heart hurt so much for them all
As her parents walk on to that transport “each holding one handle of their little food bag”
There is such raw pain and we know they are going to their death
An awful painful goodbye
So beautifully written
When Franci is moved to Auschwitz she feels terror but also a need to survive
She is caught in the very heart of the Nazi Genocide
Her decision at this point to disassociate herself
From the dehumanising treatment of herself and others was a brave one
I think it helped to protect her mind, heart and soul
So helping her to try and live again after the war
I doubt that she had that forward thinking available to her at the time
She was just trying to get through
Minute by minute I imagine
Disassociation was the best and only defence she had to protect herself
And keep her promise to her Mutti to try and survive
I cannot imagine the range of feelings survivors like Franci must have had
When returning home after the war
After the horror, the terror, the deaths and evil treatment and conditions
How do you begin to process that?
How do you move forward when everyone you love is in the past?
Franci survived what so so so so so many did not
Her courage, her determination to survive, her strength and resilience
Her ability to to help others is a testament to the human spirit
The mental and physical suffering she endured is like nothing most of us in this world have ever known
She is amazing and her story is an important one
Her voice is one of many from the Holocaust that must be heard
So that we are all reminded of what can happen
So that we can all do all we can to be kind always
To all people
What a powerful book to begin my return to reading
To celebrate my return to reading
I have bought a beautiful Baby Tilda inspired journal
To record My Bookish Thoughts