Getting used to mealtimes, new foods, strange textures and flavours can be troubling for your kids.

Desperately cajoling your child into eating, only to watch the plate pushed back untried, can be pretty stressful for the parent of a fussy eater. So, what to do – and not to do – with fussy eaters?

Introducing new foods
Introduce new foods gently and by being a good role model. Eat your salad and your vege. Try the new stuff. Don’t have cake for breakfast. But don’t expect change to happen overnight. In fact, don’t force it on them, and don’t point it out.

A great way to get them to try new foods is a vegetable garden for kids. Involve your children in the planting (their favourite ones and any new ones), tend to their little garden together, watch the vegetables grow and harvest them together. Maybe add some strawberries or a fruit tree if you have the space. This will make eating vegetables, salads and fruits so much more interesting!

Staying calm
If your children decide against a food before they have tasted it, back off. When they see steam coming out of mummy’s ears, they’ll realise there’s mileage in the opposite direction. Angry discipline might get that meal eaten, but the aftershock will last for many meals to come so it is important to know how to calm down. This will also teach your children how to deal with their own anger. Mention it’s a shame because granny or their best friend loves this food, and how you think they’re missing out. Curiosity will eventually get the better of them, and they will try out a food, which they refused many times before.

The power struggle
They’ll soon twig that there’s power and attention to be had from not eating something, even if they quite like it. Picky eating is also any young child’s way of showing his independence as he learns to feed himself. He may be seeing how far he can push the limits of your authority and trying to assert some control over his life. That is a completely normal development which he will try in all areas of his life and that’s ok.

If you want to introduce some discipline at mealtimes, make ‘sitting at the table until everyone has finished their meal’ or ‘taking a bite of everything on my plate’ part of your child’s reward scheme.

Sweet bribery
We know most kids will do anything for a sugar hit. But not only are you showing your desperation, you’re giving them a thoroughly unhelpful message – savoury bit bad, sweet bit good. Subconscious, but loud and clear and not helpful and potentially a bad eating habit they will retain for the rest of their lives.

Healthy hunger
Keep an eye on those sweet drinks during the day and try not to keep junk food around the house so when your child does feel hungry, there are only healthy snacks available. Try using a snack jar to limit intake of these outside mealtimes so that they your kids are actually hungry at dinner time. Even the fussiest eater will eat when hungry.

Reverse psychology
Tell them they like something, and they won’t eat it. Tell them they don’t like something, and they’ll stop eating it. Don’t tell them what they like or don’t like as you can’t win. Not only are you putting them in a position of power, you’re solidifying their mental list entitled ‘Foods I Will Never Like’. Just because they’ve turned their nose up at a food 10 times doesn’t mean they won’t fancy it another day. It just takes time and patience.

Childlike reasoning
Fish is good for your brain, pasta gives you lots of energy, and oranges are full of vitamin C. All true, and information that needs to get in there. But at this moment, just a more indirect way of initiating a power struggle. Kids need to learn about healthy eating, but the dinner table isn’t the place for it so stick with reasoning that is age appropriate, such as “daddy loves this food” and “this is mummy’s favourite vegetable”.

Remember fussy eaters are not winding you up, they’re growing up. It’s normal for children to decide they will eat just a few foods, partly because of a natural fear of new things. Eat well and together when possible and feel confident your child’s body will guide it towards the nutrients required. It’s perfectly possible for you to get the good stuff into your fussy eater and stay sane, even if not overnight.

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