Today has been a horrible day
One of those days when I hate my life
One of those days when I am grumpy about everything
When my body feels tense and twitchy
When I am on the verge of tears all the time
When I am overwhelmed and anxious
And disappointed in me
I still function
I get on and get through
But it is exhausting
My skin is crawling
My mind is racing
And I doubt everyone
Question everything
I wade through treacle
Trying to clear the fog
Seeking the light at the end of the longest tunnel
NOTHING works
Food tastes wrong
Nothing looks or feels right
Everything is irritating
I want to scream
Instead
I go to the music class
I sing and dance
I help the children with their learning
I make the meals
I nurse the baby
I play with the toddler
But I am not calm
I cannot relax
And when darkness falls
I know I have wasted a day
I know I have lost another day
To the intricate craziness of my emotions
To the battle ground that is my mind
And there is no one thing that started it
No reason
Nor rhyme
But once the wheels start turning
I cannot stop them spinning
They carry on gaining momentum
Gaining speed and power
Somehow always maintaining just enough control
To avoid a head on colison
To avoid a crash
Sometimes I wonder if that is what I need
A crash
A head on collision
To knock the stuffing out
Knock some sense in
I wonder if this is what the days were like in the past
When one had gotten out of the wrong side of bed
Perhaps if I just got back under the covers
And climbed out of the right side
Maybe then everything would be okay
Today has been a horrible day
One of those days when I hate my life
One of those days when I am grumpy about everything
When my body feels tense and twitchy
When I am on the verge of tears all the time
When I am overwhelmed and anxious
And disappointed in me
I still function
I get on and get through
But it is exhausting
I am exhausted
Battered and bruised
Exhausted
Today has been a most Monday-ish Monday
I am hoping for a much better Tuesday
I choose for Tues to be better