We are a man down today
A Daddy down
I think he might have flu
David does not do ill
So when he voluntarily stays in bed all day
You know that it must be bad
I do not cope well without David
We do everything together
It is something lots of people do not understand
But it is just how we work
Even when we are barely speaking to one another
We are still working in sync to run our house
And raise our children
Having four children places a lot of strain on a couple
Grieving for a fifth takes an impossible toll
Throw in depression, anxiety, money worries
And the strongest relationship is put to the test
David and I always manage to bounce back
But our elastic is wearing thin
And each time we spring back into shape
We are just a little saggier than before
But we are still here
Still together
Still keeping on keeping on
But some days are harder for us
Than you could possibly believe
I do not cope well without a plan
I crumble when things do not fall as they are supposed to
It is how anxiety manifests in me
Since Tilda died
When David is away I really struggle
When David is ill I panic
I panic for him
I worry about what will happen to our children if I get sick too
And I am beyond terrified that one or more of the children will be unwell
When a baby dies you lose rationality
And it does not take a lot for me
To be paralysed with fear
David is my rock
Our rock
He is our super glue
He keeps us together
He is our superhero
And he does not do ill
So tonight I am frightened
And I am reminded how much I love my man
How much we need him
How I would never want to live without him
And as we suffer what feels like another enormous blow
I am more determined than ever
To be a better mother and a better wife
And to really and truly start living for Tilda
Because once again today I have been reminded that life fragile
Tomorrow is not certain
Nothing is guaranteed
We need to live for the moment
And make the most of every moment of every day
I have wasted so many days already
I have lost so many days
To anger and fear and resentment and grief
I have lost too many
Too much
Today I am launching another giveaway
As part of our #matildamaegiveaway
And it seems apt that it is with CuddleDry
The British brand synonymous with bathtime
With baby’s bathtime
In our house Daddy does bathtime
And it has been hard without him today
We have been fans of Cuddledry for the longest time
8 years in fact
When I bought two hooded baby towels for Esther and William
That were handed down to Matilda Mae
When I bought two toddler towelling ponchos
For Esther and William
At The Baby Show
We now have three super cute Cuddle Deer toddler towels
Used mostly now with Edie and Bea
At nearly 8 years old Esther and William still adore theirs
And love using them for bath time and at the swimming pool
Even though Esther is far too tall!
CuddleDry are definitely our towels of choice
In our house a deer is definitely not just for Christmas!
Edie is the first of our babies to have
This super soft hands free towel is worn by mummy or daddy
To keep their clothes from getting wet during bath time
You are then able to literally cuddle your baby dry
As you lift them out of their bath
Cocoon them in the cotton and bamboo
Cuddle them up to you
Wrapped up tight with the two layer towel
There are a range of designs to choose from
We were sent the grey stars
And it is stunning
I am so glad that we have had the opportunity to try
The original Cuddledry apron towel
I know now what gift to buy any friends or family having a baby in the future
This is a true baby essential
And I am very excited to be offering you the chance to win one
The Original Cuddledry® Handsfree Baby Bath Towel
In the beautiful grey stars design
Pop over to my Instagram feed
To see how to win
And if you
Like me
Have a husband, wife or partner
That you do not tell enough
How much you love them
How much you need them
How much you appreciate all they do
Cuddle them close
And let them know
Life is fragile
Tomorrow is not certain
Nothing is guaranteed
We need to live for the moment
And make the most of every moment of every day
Cuddle them close
In memory of Matilda Mae
