On Monday Edie Mae will be two weeks old

The last 13 days have passed so fast

In a whirlwind of visitors

Family, friends and midwives

I do not feel that I have really had

Any time to get my head around having a new baby

I feel that I have had even less time with my older children

And I am struggling with the fact

That come Monday I am just going to be expected to get on with it

I just do not feel ready

There are some things that have happened over the last weeks

That have made our family transition a little easier

And I thought I would share what those things are

Things To Do

Keep Your Visits Short
Giving birth is tiring

Learning about a new baby is tiring

Helping older children bond with a new addition is tiring

It is all wonderful and exciting and new

But for the mummy especially

Recovering from birth takes time

And bonding with a new baby can take time

While some families welcome long visits

And early visitors

It is best to check rather than assume

With Esther and William we were very strict with visitors

We have become less so with each baby

But having visitors can be hard when there is a new baby

Ask the family when is best to visit

And unless you are given specific timings from the family

Keep your visit quite short

A couple of hours

And make your visit beneficial to the family

Do not leave with the house in more of a mess than when you arrived

Do not ask to hold the baby

The parents will offer when they are ready

Do not pick up the baby without permission

Be useful

Be considerate

And take your cues from the parents

Make a Fuss of Existing Children Before The Baby
When you visit the family

Make a fuss of any older siblings

Before you make a bee line for the baby

Talk to them as you normally would

Do not arrive weighed down with baby presents

Be discreet

And understanding of the fact that children need time to adapt to change

Time to come to terms with the arrival of a new sibling

No matter how little and cute they are

Take a small gift for the siblings

Or spend some quality time with them

Talking

Playing

Listening to what they have to say

Bring Lunch For All The Family
If your visit is longer

Or over a meal time

Take the meal with you

A picnic lunch

A pot of pasta to warm through

Cakes to go with an afternoon cup of tea

Pastries and fruit for a mid morning snack

Do not expect the new mummy and daddy to cater for you

They will be so incredibly grateful if you feed them

And their older children

My best friend arrived last week

With pasta bolognese

We all sat and had a meal together

Which was great because we all ate a decent meal

She chose red meat to bolster my iron levels

(She is the best kind of best friend!)

It was also good because we all talked

The children were all entertained

And felt special

It was lovely to feel so well looked after

And she had made enough that David and I were able to have second helpings

With salad and tortilla chips for tea

Leave a Meal That Can Be Easily Warmed For Tea
If your visit is shorter

And is not over a meal time

Why not take a meal that can be eaten by the new parents in the evening

David’s mum is very good at this

After Tilda, Bea and Edie she has made us a lasagne

Which has provided us with at least one meal

If not two

David’s mum is very good at reading us

So sometimes she has stayed and eaten with us

And other times she has left the meal ready to be heated

For us to eat alone

It is so nice to not have to worry about what to make for tea

When you are incredibly emotional and tired

And feeling all out of sorts after birth

Give Mummy Peace With Baby But Also Try To Give Mummy Time With Older Children
Time is the best thing you can give to a new mummy

Time to bond with her new baby

Time to give her older children the mummy time they so desperately need

My best friend is very good at coming and holding the baby

So that I can do school work with the older children

Or sort Lego Cards with William

David’s Mum has also helped by collecting Bea from preschool

Giving me extra time on those days to focus on Esther and William

It is lovely having people come and play with the older siblings

But sometimes what mummy really needs is time to bond with her older children

Time to feel connected with them

To have fun with them

To cuddle them

Without having a baby in her arms

This is something so valuable

As you can feel a bit sidelined as a new mum

Not always

But sometimes

You do not want to be stuck under a sleeping baby

You would like someone else to come for a cuddle

So that you can get up and play

And remind your children that you can be fun too

Reassure them that you are still their mummy

You still love them and want to be with them

Just as much as ever

Time is the best thing you can give to a new mummy

Time to bond with her new baby

Time to give her older children the mummy time they so desperately need

Make The Drinks
This is so easy

Arrive

Offer to make the tea

It may be that the mummy says no

Asks you to hold the baby so she can make the tea

Sometimes it is nice to get up and potter and stretch

While someone else cuddles the baby

But offer to make the drinks first

And maybe, if you can

Provide the biscuits!

Things To Buy

Nappies
If you want to take a gift

But are unsure what to buy

Take a bundle of nappies

If you know that the family are using disposables

This is a valuable gift

Babies go through around 8 nappies a day

That is a lot of money

You could take any brand of nappy

Using supermarket brands

Or larger companies such as Pampers

Or try something different and new

Such as these pretty prints from Emma Bunton’s Kit and Kin

Packets of nappies without wrapping would be perfect presents

But if you wanted to offer something more

And you are in Kent

These nappy cakes from Sock Bouquets for Any Occasion

Make wonderful new baby gifts

We were bought one by David’s siblings

And it comes in sizes 3-6 months

So we can enjoy the display

Before using the products

Our cake is made up of 65 nappies

A hooded towel, a muslin square

A sleepsuit and bodysuit

Three bibs

A hat

A pair of scratch mitts

A pair of socks and

A teddy to cuddle

Such a lovely gift!

Water Wipes

In our house baby wipes are a necessity

Not just for baby but for all the family

Water Wipes

The only wipes I would use on delicate newborn skin

Are more expensive than other brands

But they are worth every penny

Being bought a packet of Water Wipes

As a new baby gift

Would make me smile

They can be used for the very delicate skin on baby’s bottom

Also used for cleaning her face and hands

Cleaning the face and hands of older siblings

Giving surfaces a quick once over

Cleaning whiteboards and chalkboards

Cleaning phones and laptops

Removing make up

Wiping spills off furniture and clothes

Such a multi purpose product

The perfect practical present to buy a new mum!

Hand Wash and Hand Cream
With a new baby in a large family

With visitors coming and going

It is not uncommon for people to be asked to wash their hands

Before holding the baby

I do try to ask people to wash their hands

And our children are forever washing theirs

I try to make sure that we have a good stock of hand wash

And anti bac gels

As well as hand creams for anyone who wants them

We love Carex Fun Editions

My favourite is Chocolate Orange

The children love Strawberry Laces

The great thing with all of these

Is that you can smell when the children have washed their hands!

A gift of hand wash and hand cream

Would be much appreciated as a new mum

We wash our own hands many many times throughout the day

It is a good idea to keep them well moisturised as well as clean

This Sea Buckthorn Hand Cream from Weleda sounds divine!

Treats and Snacks
Gifts of treats and snacks always go down well

And it does not have to be cakes and cookies

What about foods that you know the mummy likes

That she has not been able to eat through pregnancy

Parma Ham and liquorice for me!

For others it could be a mini cheeseboard

Or perhaps a bottle of wine?

Cakes and chocolates are nice

But not always wanted

Especially when it is a family with other children

And parents are trying to limit sugar intake!

A basket of fruit would go down well in our house

So that the children can snack healthily

While mummy feeds the baby

Sibling Gifts
When visiting a new baby

It is a nice idea to take a gift for the older siblings

To make them feel special

And to keep them busy

While you have your cuddle with the newborn

While the parents enjoy a hot cup of tea

Sibling gifts are not just for the children

They also give the gift of time to the grown ups

And we all know that there is never ever enough time

Sibling gifts do not have to be expensive

A colouring book and pencils

A pot of bubbles

A lollipop

My best friend bought us this gorgeous family gift

And gave the children the best present of all

The bubble wrap!

They had the best fun

Bursting all those bubbles!

Another friend bought the children

A DIY Memory Game

A box of little cardboard squares to draw on

William used his to make a monsters and myths art gallery

Esther used hers to make badges and certificates for her My Little Ponies

Bea is using hers to randomly write and draw on

A perfect present

That has kept the children occupied for a couple of days

Being creative and having fun

My sister in law

Gave Bea a fantastic present

She came to our house equipped to make cakes

They made the cakes and iced them

And we have been eating them ever since

The highlight for Bea though was all the attention from her Aunty

And the chance to lick the bowls and spoons!

Gifts for parents, babies, siblings

Do not have to be big or expensive

Just considered

And given with love

What is the best thing anyone has done for you as a new parent?

What is the best thing you have been bought?