Today is Day 5 post partum
Baby Edie Mae is 4 days old
These first 5 days
With baby number 5
Have been a mixed bag
Of emotions and feelings
For all the family
There have been beautiful highs
And terrifying lows
And a sample of everything to be found in between
Here are some pointers
That I hope might help others
From our first five days at home
Some things to know when baby is born
BIRTH HURTS
Birth hurts
Even the fastest
Most straightforward of births hurts
Pain is experienced differently
By everyone
People have different thresholds for pain
People are happy to try different levels of pain relief
Medical or otherwise
The pain is instantly forgotten
The second you hold your brand new baby in your arms
But do not be alarmed
When the pain comes back!
AFTER PAINS
With Edie Mae
Our fifth baby
The after pains started
Very quickly after birth
Within the first hour
And lasted for a full three days
They were incredibly painful
As my uterus contracted
It felt more painful than labour at times
For 24 hours I alternated paracetamol and ibuprofen
Then continued with paracetamol for another 24 hours
At times the pain was excruciating
Especially when feeding Edie
It took my breath away
Made me wince
And at time properly cry
After pains get stronger with each baby
Which is why this time
This fifth time
Mine hurt SO much
GRAZES AND TEARS
It is natural during birth
To experience some grazes and tears
Some people have to be cut
I have suffered a third degree tear and grazes with Tilda
Grazing with Bea
And a first degree tear and grazing with Edie
The third degree tear had to be stitched
And the discomfort post birth was immense
I was certain my stitches were infected
But it was just the natural process of healing that hurt
This time I did not notice the pain of the grazes and tear
Until the uterine contractions
The after pains
Lessened
Then I became aware of the pain
Coming from my grazes and tear
Oh the pain!
I have been using the amazing
From My Expert Midwife
To ease my discomfort
And aid my healing
It is marvellous stuff!
RANDOM ACHES AND PAINS
As well as the pains I was expecting
I also have other weird post birth aches and pains
A sore hip
Very achey tired legs
I think because I gave birth kneeling up
My legs took a lot of strain
These hurts are not so painful
They just took me a little unawares at first
TIREDNESS
Giving birth is exhausting
All through labour you will want to sleep
Between contractions you might find yourself trying to doze
You long to have your baby in your arms
To snuggle up with your newborn and snooze
But then the moment they are in your arms
You are wide awake
You just want to stare at them
You cannot believe they are here
The first night with Bea
On the ward
She fed all night
With Edie
We only stayed 7 hours
Including breakfast and showers
Before heading home
The tiredness you feel
Is all consuming
Mental
Physical
Emotional
Yet for me it is always a few days
Before I manage a good sleep
I usually find I have unsettled nights
And then my biggest chunk of sleep in the early morning
From about 4am til 8am
And often that together with the pieces of sleep
From the night
Are enough
THE SWEATS
One thing I was never told about
That I have experienced after all my pregnancies
But most dramatically with the twins
Was night sweating after the birth
Your body has lots of extra fluid throughout pregnancy
Particularly if you have suffered with oedema
You obviously lose amniotic fluid
During the birth
But other fluids
You sweat out
Mostly at night
After your baby is born
And you wee it out too
So may find that you still need to urinate a lot
Though not as much as at the end of pregnancy
I try to keep my room cool at night
Sleeping with the windows open
Cotton bedding
And I change the bedding as often as I can
Also it is important to drink
A LOT
Especially if you are breastfeeding
SORE NIPPLES
Breastfeeding brings more discomfort of it’s own
Sore nipples being at the top of that list
Little Edie has struggled a bit with her latch
She is very small and sleepy
I have ended up with incredibly sore nipples
And one crack
I have been soothing my nipples
And protecting them
With No Harm Nipple Balm
From My Expert Midwife
A soothing balm
That is safe enough for baby to eat
So no need to try and remove
When baby wants to feed
Sore nipples are usually temporary
Easily soothed and healed
But incredibly painful in the meantime
And can make you wince with every feed
Do seek help and support
And try to continue feeding
If that is what you want to do
MILK COMING IN
Around day 3
Your milk will come in
Your breasts will balloon in size
They will feel solid and heavy
As they fill to bursting with milk
Feeding will feel tender
You may feel emotionally fragile
Postpartum hormones facilitate wonderful things
They also cause emotional chaos and confusion
I wrote about the realities
Of postpartum day 3 on Instagram
The reality of #postpartum #day3 You are shattered. As the severity of after pains begin to subside you realise how sore you are down below. You realise how bruised and swollen you feel. You are giving everything you have to nurturing a new life you have grown and delivered. The guilt you feel for not being a fully functioning wife or mother to your other children builds and builds til there is no holding back the river of tears. As your eyes leak your breasts leak and you are sodden with milk and salty tears. Your husband does not understand why you are suddenly in so much pain, why you are wincing as you feed. No one understands why you are just not capable of doing all the things a mummy should do. Why you would like to hide away from the world just for a little while. Your children do not understand why such a tiny sleepy baby needs so much of their mummy’s energy and time. You are desperate for your children to know that you love them and cannot wait to be able to have fun with them again. On top of your tears are the tears of your 6 year old daughter who is caught up in all the emotion but not really understanding what or why. As the milk rushes, the hormones frenzy, the tears fall and everything is crazed and confused. I just want to hold all my children close and tell them that this is normal, the chaos will settle and life will be more wonderful than ever before. Pregnancy, birth, parenting are all so hard on an ordinary day. Today is so much more than that. It is #postnatal #day3 a day to get out in front of and put behind us just as soon as we can.
HORMONE LEVELS
Your hormones are all over the place
After giving birth
Your emotional rollercoaster
Will drive you from the heights of euphoria
To the depths of despair
You will journey there and back again
Over and over
And whatever it is that you are feeling
It is okay
It is okay to laugh
It is okay to cry
It is okay to feel happy and sad
You may feel more irritable than usual
People may tell you that you have a touch of the ‘baby blues’
It is normal to feel emotional
To swing from high to low
These feelings are linked to the
Chemical and hormonal changes happening to your body
There is more information from the NCT here
Including when your feelings might not be okay
And who to talk to
If you feel worried about what you are feeling
If you think it might be more than
A touch of the ‘baby blues’
IRON LEVELS
It is normal to feel tired in the days and weeks after birth
Pregnancy and birth are physically challenging
And you need time to recover and recharge
I am boosting my iron reserves
To combat tiredness
I am doing this with Spatone
I take two sachets every day
To gently boost my hb levels
To give me a little more energy while recovering from birth
And getting to grips with breastfeeding Edie Mae
BROKEN SLEEP
I have to admit that I am sleeping fairly well so far
I think that might be about to change
As Edie Mae becomes more awake and more hungry for her feeds
As a mother of five children I cannot sleep when the baby sleeps during the day
But at night I have Edie in with me
Just as I did with Bea
Cosleeping safely
Aids breastfeeding
And means I find myself more able
To function as a family member during the day
Edie will eventually sleep at night in her Snuzpod
And downstairs during the day in her Shnuggle Dreami
Which she has already tested out a couple of times
Mostly at the moment she sleeps on me
But she is not yet a whole week old
GUILT
I feel guilty about everything
Guilty that we were away so long having Edie
Guilty that David has to do so much at home
Guilty that David is not able to work
Guilty that life has to change for our older children
Guilty about the effects of a new baby
Especially on Bea
I worry about everyone and everything
I have with every baby after the twins
Change is hard
Even when it is most wanted
People get use to routine
And finding a new way is not always easy
And everyone has different needs to be met
Being a mummy is hard hard work
And you cannot please all people all of the time
And to please anyone in anyway at all
You have to look after you
That is a lesson with baby number 5
That I am still to learn
But perhaps is more important now than ever
To make some time
Some how
To take care of me
BODY IMAGE
There is so much pressure on women to look good
There is an expectation that our post baby bodies
Should just pop back to the way they once were
I have not been as I was pre IVF
For over 9 years
Fertility treatment and pregnancies have taken their toll
But I would not have it any other way
I am proud of my body
And what it has done
I am proud of all that I have been through
Proud to have survived
And perhaps in spite of all the odds
Birthed five beautiful babies
Through my blog and social media
I am sharing the journey of my postpartum body
Just as I proudly shared my bump selfies
I am going to share my post baby body too
It takes 9 months to grow a baby to term
And I know that it will take at least that for me
To get my body back to how it was pre Bea
I am not sure I will ever have the body I had when I first met David
But I am not really sure that I would want it
As I am not that person anymore
I am 10 years older for a start!
FEAR AND DOUBT
I doubt myself every day
Am I going to be able to cope as a mummy of 4 living children?
Can I be all that David needs me to be?
Can I remember what to do with a baby?
Will I be able to get out and about with everyone on my own?
Fear and doubt are always there
Part of being a mummy
But I know that I can
I know I am capable
It is just making myself believe that
Getting up and out and on
And doing it
Not being consumed by fear
By doubt
BROODINESS
Throughout the newborn haze
The baby daze
We all have good days and bad
Watch out for the really really good moments
You will find yourself feeling broody
You will find yourself wondering
If maybe, just maybe
You could and would go through all of this again
Today is Day 5 post partum
Baby Edie Mae is 4 days old
These first 5 days
With baby number 5
Have been a mixed bag
Of emotions and feelings
For all the family
There have been beautiful highs
And terrifying lows
And a sample of everything to be found in between
Here are some pointers
That I hope might help others
From our first five days at home
Some things to know when baby is born
This is such a brilliant post. I had to be cut to get Oscar out and the pain was immense. I couldn’t sit down or walk and I didn’t leave the house for 9 days, and when I did it was only to go to my eldest sons birthday party! I had no idea about those after pains (I had a csection with Zach so the drugs prob killed those off), or the night sweats which made me think I had an infection! Such an informative post that I wish I could have read months ago!
Great postman I had no idea about the night sweats I just thought our room was loads warmer than normal as have the ceiling fan off with Zachary in our room. It’s been so up and down here…Zachary hadn’t fed well off me the past 2 days which has stressed me out so much canto wait until the midwife comes tomorroe so I can talk through it all with her. Looks like you are coping pretty well and Edie looks lovely 🙂