Another day of confusion and contradiction

David slept much of the afternoon on my bed

Things were quite tense between us after so long in hospital

So long in one room with no idea as to how long we would be there

With nothing happening to bring us any closer to having our baby

I spent much of the afternoon bouncing on my ball

And sobbing

I should have given up and slept

Given where we were by the end of this day

Today i am 39+5 and it is our 4th day in hospital waiting for a bed on delivery suite to have waters broken. I am feeling calmer today having spent the afternoon with our children yesterday. I miss them so much x loving this @welovefrugi top for hospital wear. Seriously regret not buying the yoga pants too! Last night we were top of the list to be moved to labour ward but today we seem to be slipping down the list again which is very frustrating. Lots of angry ladies on the ward and heated conversations overheard. Think we will need to think about david going home soon and me staying alone til something concrete happens x for a busy ward it is oh so quiet! #babynumber5 #inductionoflabour #birthstory #39weekspregnant #pregnant

A post shared by Jennie Edspire (@edspire) on May 7, 2017 at 2:26am PDT

Seriously fed up bump and me. Lots of activity for other women on the ward but not for me x looking more and more likely that nothing will happen today x #pregnant #39weekspregnant #birthstory #inductionoflabour #babynumber5

A post shared by Jennie Edspire (@edspire) on May 7, 2017 at 4:33am PDT

Two of my three incredibly brave children. We just had a sneaky lunch date and a very tearful farewell x #babynumber5 #inductionoflabour #birthstory #39weekspregnant #pregnant

A post shared by Jennie Edspire (@edspire) on May 7, 2017 at 7:09am PDT

Utterly utterly broken #pregnant #39weekspregnant #birthstory #inductionoflabour #babynumber5

A post shared by Jennie Edspire (@edspire) on May 7, 2017 at 10:20am PDT

Look at me! On the labour ward. Waters broken and almost flooded the room. Little #sprinkleofstardust tried to stick her hand out and the midwife had to put it back in as the waters gushed out like a waterfall. Our midwife is truly lovely and I feel so much more relaxed here knowing that something is happening. Have to stay strapped to monitors as baby has down a bit of poo in waters and I am old x #babynumber5 #inductionoflabour #birthstory #39weekspregnant #pregnant #induction #watersbroken #day4

A post shared by Jennie Edspire (@edspire) on May 7, 2017 at 1:33pm PDT