I am a little early with this update

But wanted to write while today is fresh in my mind

So, tomorrow I will be 36 weeks pregnant

By the date of my last period

This date was also confirmed by a private dating scan

My NHS scan gave me a later due date

By only a few days

But later all the same

And it is the hospital policy to go by their own 12 week scan date

So today I had a Consultant appointment

A follow up to the appointment I had

Four weeks ago

A very helpful and informative appointment

With a male doctor who was generous with his time

Keen to talk through all my worries and answer all my questions

He seemed to understand the anxiety that comes with pregnancy after loss

And was very keen to make me feel comfortable and confident about the end of this

My last pregnancy

He was also understanding of the fact that I was nervous

About my predicted giant baby

It was a good appointment

And I was looking forward to seeing him again

Today however I was met by a very different registrar

A lady who I am sure is lovely

But had not really read between the lines of my notes

She was very dismissive of my worries

She was not keen to discuss my concerns

She told me that from reading about the size of Bea

She was expecting to meet a large lady

But here I was tiny

And obviously super fit

I told her that I am actually not at all fit

She then told me that she thinks I am awesome

And I have a woman’s pelvis

She was saying something about different pelvis shapes

But that I have a woman’s pelvis

Perfect for giving birth

She said that she had no concerns at all about me

That baby was big

But because Bea was big she was not worried

She told me not to worry about Polyhydramnios

That despite the guidelines she would not be worried til pockets were 15 – 20cm deep

She told me that they would see me again after next scan

Just to reassure me as I am growing a big baby

But that no decision would be made about birth until I reach 40 weeks pregnant

Which by NHS dates is when I think I am past my true due date

And I know it is only ever an estimated date

But in my head

At my age

After my losses

The dates matter

I told her that her colleague had told me I could be induced early

Because of my age, size of baby and my history

She said that she could see no reason for making a decision before I reach term

She also told me that I needed to be open minded to a c section

Even though in the last appointment I had been told

No one would offer me a section apart from in an emergency

Because of scars from previous surgery

By the end of the very short appointment

Where she did not really look at my bump

Or feel it

Measure it

Or any of the expected things

I left feeling anxious and totally confused

I went to the reception

To book my appointment as requested

For three weeks time

Three weeks today is of course a bank holiday

Two weeks today and the clinic is not just full

But overbooked

And four weeks today would be too late

They called through to the midwife

Who came to talk to me

Who read my notes carefully

Listened to my concerns

Noticed I was emotional and anxious

And asked me to wait for the Lead Consultant

So that we could make a plan today

She could see no reason to have another Cons appointment

She thought and I agreed

That we should book in an induction date

We talked about Matilda Mae

And my wish for Sprinkle not to be born on her birthday

She took my notes and my wishes to the Lead Consultant

Told me to grab a drink and something to eat and come back

So I did

And on my return

I was told of the plan

And given the date for my induction of labour

The date when we may well get to meet our little girl

Assuming she does not decided to make an entrance any earlier

They have booked me in at 39 weeks by my NHS dates

Which by my dates will make me 39 + 2

And I am happy with that

I am happy to have a plan

And I know that things do not always go to plan

But I am so relieved to have one all the same

Now I just have 3 weeks and 2 days to wait

Until our little girl will start her journey to being born

I am so excited and hopeful

And more than anything right now

I want to have our little girl and bring her home

I am hoping and praying that she will be healthy and strong

And that birth will not throw us any surprises

I am hoping the lady consultant today

Has not jinxed my womanly pelvis!

Aside from hospital visits

This week I will also meet our CONI Health Visitor

I have a midwife appointment

And we are having our first Home Education visit

A busy busy week

At the end of which my sister arrives for Easter

And I am so looking forward to our special time together

This weekend we have been busy getting the garden ready

For all our children to play together

So hopefully the sun will shine

This week I am feeling all of my 36 weeks pregnant

I have a constant ache between my legs and at the top of my thighs

I keep getting cramp in that area too

My bump is still high

And is digging into my ribs when I am sitting down

My sleep is quite disturbed

I am grinding my teeth a lot

Getting up to pee a lot

And getting a dead hip when lying for too long on one side

I am most definitely in the final furlong of pregnancy

And feeling like a knackered old nag

I am ready now to meet our baby girl

And accept that this pregnancy is my last

In spite of all my aches and pains though

I am feeling happy in myself

The sunny days have certainly helped

Make everything seem especially lovely

And I do actually feel like I have a bit of a pregnancy glow

Esther has taken some lovely photos of me and bump

I think she has done a wonderful job

So here we are

A week now away from term

With lots to look forward to

And a date to aim for

So among all the appointments

And festive occasions

I really do need to get on and pack my hospital bags

Set up the Snuzpod and the Shnuggle Dreami

And get Bea to sleep more of the night in her own bed!

Eeeek!

Our baby will be here so soon

Hoping and praying that she will be okay

And that we will be able to bring our fifth and final baby home

And say that our family

In heaven and and on Earth

Is complete