Today we have been visited by social services
Someone anonymously called NSPCC
Expressing concern for the emotional wellbeing of our children
Saying that they think the children are isolated
We have no idea who the anonymous caller is
Though we have requested a copy of the written referral from NSPCC
Today two ladies from social services
Came to see us and our home
They will be returning in a week’s time
To interview our children
Our six year olds
And our two year old
Will be questioned by strangers
About their safety and their happiness
How they feel about their parents and their home
I am in utter shock that someone would do this
I am very sad and cross that the person who made the referral
Did not feel able to put their name to it
If you are so sure about the allegations you are making
Why not tell the person receiving the call
Who you are?
I am in no doubt that I am a good mother
I am in no doubt that David is a good father
Our children are kind and loving
Our children are happy and sociable
Our children are well educated albeit at home
Every day we go out to groups and classes
Our children are part of a happy and supportive extended family
With regular contact with grandparents and great aunties and uncles
I write openly on my blog about good days and bad days
Mostly I write about the worst days
I do this for many reasons
To document our grief journey
For my children to read when they are older
And mostly to help other parents who may be suffering
To encourage discussion around baby loss, miscarriage, prematurity
Grief, PTSD, PND
I do not write a daily diary about where we go and what we do
Perhaps I should
Though I think it would be rather boring
Because in spite of everything my little family have been through
We are tight family unit
We are happy
We are blessed in so many ways
I am assuming the anonymous caller reads this blog
Though I am not ruling out this being someone that we know
There is so much I want to write about this situation
Bereaved siblings are not necessarily emotionally challenged children
Children of parents with PTSD, anxiety, PND are not necessarily a cause for concern
Talking openly about grief and the effects of grief is healthy
Talking helps me and I hope will also help others
Talking to my children about our journey is healthy
Home schooled children are not isolated children
Home education happens for many reasons, good reasons
Reporting a family to the NSPCC anonymously, on a whim, is a horrible thing to do
We are now being investigated
And as with all things
I will be documenting the journey here
Along with some really boring details about our life
Such as our weekly timetable
Showing how our children are very far from isolated
I am also going to share some ‘Day in the Life’ posts
Perhaps I should be ashamed of being reported
Perhaps I should not be going public with this at all
But I am not ashamed
I am a good mummy
I adore my children and I can say with confidence that my children adore me
I welcome people coming in to see how we are together at home
Talking to the children’s extended family and all the organisations we are involved with
I am just so very sad that someone has reached the conclusions they have
From something they have glimpsed or read
And felt the need to report us
And put us and our small children through an investigation
I hope that the people who genuinely know us
Who have the pleasure of being part of our children’s lives
Will understand why we are so very upset by this
WHAT???!! This is nutso! I can’t believe this.
What a waste of valuable resources, I see your blog and activities and think of how much more I should do with my children, I would never every have thought anyone could glean from it that your children were in any way wanting for anything! I’ve followed you for nearly 5 years and you’ve inspired many activities with my children. Please don’t let this one viscous and cowardly person affect you x
Be strong.
I am so angry for you!!! This is the last thing you need being pregnant too and the most unhelpful!! I hope this person, whoever they may be,realises that if they thought there was an “issue” it would have been far better to draw alongside and see if there was any way they could help you in your journey instead of going and tattling to some external organisation and causing children to undergo such trauma and upset. I am so sorry that this has happened to you. :(. Too many people seem to forget that parenting is a hard and difficult road at the best of times even though we love our children dearly, nevermind when you are also coping daily with one of your children not being present, and that a hug or a letter of encouragement would do far more good than a referral to SS!!! If people also educated themselves on the opportunities within the home ed world they may also realise that such children are far from isolated and get more real social interaction than children who attend school.
What a shame that social services, who are apparently so under resourced and who are so short of social workers, have to waste their time on an accusation such as this. There are many many families in desperate need of help and intervention, and yet a malicious anonymous call is taken so seriously. Someone has their priorities sadly wrong. One glance should have been enough to see how unnecessary this is. Keep your head held high. xxx
My God this is just awful – who would do such a thing. Through all of your turmoil, through the ups and down, I have never once even considered that your children are missing out on anything and that you are anything but a wonderful mother. What an utterly waste of resources. Whoever it is should be ashamed of themselves. I hope they are reading this and hanging their heads in shame.
This is unbelievable!
I have read your blog since you had E + W and I’ve always been amazed at all the things you do with your kids!
Of course home schooling is different, but what an good education they will have with such individual attention to stimulate all their interests…and as you say, they socialise through groups just like any other children.
As a grandparent of two sets of twins I also watch how twins interact with each other, and I don’t think in a school setting they would necessarily make lots of other friends, and especially in your family with Bea as well.
You choose to open your heart in your blog, and describe your innermost feelings which must really help other mothers who have lost a child.
Your children don’t read your blog I’m sure, so what you write does not affect them in any way, but one day when they are grown up I think they will be very proud of their mother.
love Hilary
I have followed your blog for sometime and am in utter disbelief that someone would report you in this way. It is obvious to anyone how loved your children are and what an amazing job you do as both their mummy and with their home education. I think anyone would be absolutely delighted to have you as their child’s teacher – I know I certainly would. Your children seem anything but isolated and the experiences you’re giving them that we read about on your blog are opening them up to so much of life so good on you
It is so very sad that someone has brought this unnecessary stress into your lives at what should be a happy time as you count down to the birth. I hope they read your post and feel utter shame at their actions and at what they are now putting your children through when they have already been through so much. I’m sure you’re children will delight and charm social services when they interview them.
I hope you continue to flourish in your home education journey.
x
Sorry to hear that some people have nothing better to do than (wrongly) judge others. I don’t write about every aspect of our lives on my blog, I don’t think anyone does, that doesn’t give people the right to fill in the gaps with their own cynical assumptions!
Bloody ridiculous! Home educating is the best thing you can do for your children. There will always be people that don’t get it or think they have a right to an opinion on what you do with your children!
As for isolated, not many of us photograph the other kids that ours are with just out of respect. You’re always welcome to post pictures of Rose though xxx
Be strong and don’t let those people be alone with your children. My youngest sister was sexually assaulted by social services…
How awful for you all. Hope the visit goes well and that it’s not too much of an ordeal x
Thus is dispicable as if you haven’t been through enough. I know you have nothing to worry about but just having to deal with this is terrible. I feel so sorry for you. It also makes you look closely at everyone around you and that’s not nice either. I hope you eventually find some peace. Lots of love xx
I an just amazed and totally speechless. The world has clearly gone mad xxx
This has angered me! Your little family has been through so much already that it pains me every single day. You deserve happiness, every body does. You will be fine, the Social Services will see what an amazing family you are, how strong you all are. I give you all our love and luck. You poor thing.
This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve read in a long time. It makes me so angry. There are children out there who are being abused and live in situations no child should face. Your children are NOT those children. Your children are adored, loved and cherished. They have parents who can’t do enough for them. Yes, you have faced and face demons. We all do. And we can’t hide those from our children. They should love the whole of us as we love the whole of them. I am so angry for you and sending you so much love. Hugs Lucy xxxx
Oh Jenny I’m so angry on your behalf. Even from ‘only’ reading your blog, everyone should have been able to draw the right conclusions and realise that calling social services was totally unnecessary. As if you needed any more stress in your life. But you will prove to them how strong, and good you are, and that they are the one with the problem. Sending huge hugs and know that thousands of us are next to you xx
How horrible for you and the family. Having had a PCSO knock on our door when our son was about 8 weeks old because a neighbour had reported he was ‘crying a lot’ I know how your heart sinks when your parenting is questioned by people in authority. I hope their investigation is over soon and they can see how ridiculous the allegation was. Thinking of you all x
I have tears ….I can’t comprehend how any one could ever question it. I am a bereaved mum, I know how your world ends and I know how hard it is to carry on for your other children. I also know after losing a child you love your remaining children ….more deeply …more fiercely…..more passionately …….and you also appreciate them more than prahaps most other mums ……..treasure them completely. Home schooling is the biggest commitment you can give to your children and most home schooled children are the most confident happy children because of it. You write with such passion and you are a mum your kids will be so proud of as they grow. Whoever reported you…..I hope you can live with yourself with what you are putting this family through. We all make mistakes as parents, none of us are perfect, we try as hard as we can, we put our children first, we do the best for them. We support other parents … offer help…..offer a shoulder to leaning on ……We do not anonymously report loving parents simply because they don’t do things the way you do!
No words other than ‘How dare they’ and ‘How deluded are they’. x
The same happened to us. The same person reported us over 20 times in the end and was given a warning to leave us alone. There really is nothing more terrifying and hurtful than those officers turning up by surprise. I didn’t know whether to just sob or be furious. Because ours went on and on, we actually ended up having a lovely relationship with the social worker – she was terrified of our house rabbits but determined not to be a bother. You don’t need that pressure, you really don’t. I hope it resolves quickly xx
Oh my goodness Jennie, I can’t believe someone could be so cruel as to do that!!! I hope the whole ordeal is over with as soon as possible. It is clear from posts and other social media platforms that you do so much with them. I’m angry for you!! Sending love xx
Oh dear! What a waste of social services time….You are such a wonderful mother. Your children are loved so much and just reading your blog anyone can see that. Sending love and hugs. Stay strong x
This is so awful, I’m sorry you’re having to go through this along with everything else right now, I know you’re not far off welcoming your newest addition. You’ll have nothing to worry about, it’s such a shame and I hope the person who reported you sees these posts and these comments and knows what we all think of you as a mother and we can see and what some of us know, that you are all a happy and healthy family doing more than your best and that they should be ashamed of wasting such a precious and stretched service.
I’m so sorry, what a horrible thing to happen. I have no words to add to the other messages of support as I agree with what they are all saying – it’s clear to anyone who reads your blog how much you love your children and how good a mother you are x
How horrible it has happened, but nice to know the report system works and that allegations are followed up on.
A long story but I have had my eldest taken out of bed at 4am and stripped and checked as they thought I was a bad parent. They went away happy I was not.
I do agree that the one good thing from all of this is knowing that the system is working and referrals are followed up so thoroughly x
Oh Jennie I’m so sorry this has happened to you. What a horrible thing for someone to do to you. I do hope it all gets sorted out quickly. You are an amazing mummy, I often wish I had your patience with my children and I’m envious of your home-education, I wish I could do that with my two. There are so many things that you do that I aspire to and I am sure it’s just jealousy that has caused somebody to do this. What a sad world we live in.
Nat.x
This makes me mad as a similar thing happened to me back when Sylvia was young and she ended up wrongly in care for 9 months before being returned with an apology followed by compensation 3 years later. It sucks when people report you and don’t have the guts to say it to your face. Cowards!
Jennie, I’m sorry you and your family are being put through this. If the coward who reported you took the time to read your blog, they’d know that your children are not isolated, nor are they deprived of anything, most of all yours and David’s love for them. I wish you well. XOXO
I know I’ve already commented on FB, but I wanted to say more here. My best friend was recently reported to social services my a vindictive and nasty mutual ‘friend’. Somebody she trusted. Thankfully, the school and scocisl services were lovely. They had to follow procedure but were in no doubt that my friends’ kids were normal, happy energetic kids. In fact, as part of the one-to-one sessions my friend had to take part in, she gained a new friend. So although it was a horrible and traumatic experience at first, as soon as it was clear the reported issue didn’t exist, it was actually a positive experience. Except for the loss of somebody we once thought of as a friend.
Sorry for the ramble. My point is that I don’t doubt that it will quickly become clear that your kids and your family is not only ‘normal’, it’s exceptional in all the right ways.
Of course, none of this makes it any easier to take in right now. Thinking of you xx
Are you sure they are from SS? You need to check directly with SS and with your health visitor. I didn’t think they could just turn up unless the children were on Protection Order. You need to verify them.
That is utterly horrendous. How vicious of whomever did that. It happened to a friend of mine after she left her sleeping toddler in a shaded and locked vehicle for less than a minute whilst she paid for petrol. The car was within her eye sight the whole time. As a teacher, she was so humiliated, horrified and aghast that her husband who was overseas in the military came home to try and reassure her that she was doing a great job. Being anonymous is so cowardly. All the best in coping with the investigations.
The stupidity and short-sightedness of people does not cease to amaze me …repeatedly!
Jennie, please don’t change a thing because of some small-minded, bigoted, meddling fool.
You and neglect of children are as far as can be! If anything you give too much of yourself and think of them always. I remember driving hours then not even getting a hug because I had a cold. You apologised, but you were thinking of not catching it and putting E&W still immune-compromised system at risk. That’s about putting kids above yourself, thinking of them in everything you do.
On the hand, I wouldn’t mind snapshots of some days, just to see all the fun you have. 😉
I am rarely speechless. But this has made me so. Utterly ridiculous. So so sad and sorry that someone has done this. How can people not see the love shine through from every word you write on this blog? What a waste of time and resources. You will get through this and they will realise very soon what a mistake it has all been. xx
This is absolutely nuts! Good on you for not being ashamed and calling whoever did this out on it.
All the words of support here show how many people enjoy and are inspired by your blog. It is ridiculous that you’ve been reported and I would be spitting feathers at having my children ‘interviewed’ so imagine you are feeling very raw about all this.
Your blog continues to inspire me and I have no doubt that social services will find nothing wrong and surely just by reading your blog, they’ll see how well loved and cared for your children are and how hard your lives have been. If someone can report you for your honesty about your bad days, then they are immature and very small-minded.
Keep your chin up and keep doing what you do best – being a mum. x
How horrid and utterly ridiculous! And a total waste of resources like so many others have already said. Chin up Jennie you are doing a great job and the ladies who visit your home and speak to your children will be able to see that for themselves xx
Wishing you lots of strength through this difficult time. You are an absolute star and your children are lucky to have you and David as their parents. What a baseless allegation, made in such a cowardly way. Don’t let it get you down! Hopefully, once the workers have spoken to the children, this will be the end of it. Sending hugs x
Ive just seen this Jenny and can’t believe someone would do that. Your children all seem to have fantastic, happy lives down to you and your husband and your choice to home school is your own. They’re certainly not deprived or isolated. So glad it’s over, you really don’t need the stress being pregnant too xx