There have been
Are
So many negatives
About the last few months
It has been a crazy cloud of chaos
But the end is in sight
And there is one huge positive
To take from our time in our temporary home
I am driving again
At Easter we took Esther and William out of school
I stopped teaching
And we embarked on our home education journey
At around the same time
We moved out of our house
So building work could begin
This combination of things
Led me to having to drive again
And just like that I did
I took deep breaths
I gritted my teeth
And I got back behind the wheel
And now I drive every day
Without really thinking about it
We get up
We get in the car
And off we go
This is such a huge step forward for me
I have always been a nervous driver
A reluctant driver
I only learned to drive while pregnant with Matilda Mae
On the day that Tilda died
I drove my car the best I had ever driven it
With my best friend by my side
I was driving on the motorway
At good speed
Over taking lorries
Instead of sitting in the slow lane behind them
In my mind
That experience
My driving that day
Has tangled with Tilda dying
Which is why I found it so very hard to drive
After she died
The fear built up inside
The panic
It became such a mental block
I convinced myself that I could not possibly drive
And if I did drive
I could not drive fast or far
Tilda died in February 2013
It was June 2016 before I was driving properly again
It has been a very long road
It has affected my self confidence
My relationships
But I am back on the right path now
And would even go so far as to say that I quite enjoy driving
When it is good weather
And not dark
And I do not have to go on the M25!
Perhaps I still have some way to go
But I am driving
And because I am driving
I am able to do so much more with the children
The world, or the county, at least
Is our oyster
We get out and about every day
Sometimes I plan a route
Sometimes I let the Sat Nav lead the way
The Sat Nav takes some funny routes
And I am now driving down roads that I think many would class as footpaths
With grass growing down the middle!
Sometimes I deliberately go wrong
Especially when I am not in a hurry to get home
My car has become my friend
One of my many tools to get me through a tricky day
Driving has opened up a world of adventure
And opportunity
I am driving
Forward
I love all the road metaphors. Driving is a funny thing and even a small knock can affect your confidence. You’ve done so well to get behind the wheel again and I’m so glad you’re having fun going down tracks. We sing a bumpy song when we do 🙂 xx
Pingback: Goodbye 2016 | Edspire