Now We Are Six

So I am now the mother of six year old twins

Six!

How can that be?

smilers

I am so proud of my little 27 weekers

Of how far they have come

Of all they have achieved

I am so proud of how hard they have fought

To be here

So thankful that they have survived

Thrived

And delight us with their awesomeness

Day by day

smiles

I am so grateful

That they are fit and healthy

Happy and well

They have defied the odds in doing so

A study following the progress of very premature babies (born before 27 weeks) in the UK and Republic of Ireland found a high level of disability once the children reached 6 years of age.

And now they are six

They are bright and energetic

High and enthusiastic

They love life

They love learning

Exploring

Adventuring

Discovering new things

adventure

They are the best of friends

Kind and caring siblings

To little sister Bea

And their little sister in the sky

Losing Tilda made me forget much of the horror

Of Esther and William’s beginning

The fear and the confusion

The trauma and the worry

The pre birth trauma

The preterm birth

And the consequences of prematurity

Just did not seem so significant

After Tilda died

Ester and William are alive

And the rest does not matter

That is what I told myself

In the first years after Tilda died

Now that I am getting some sense of perspective back

I realise once again

Just how very lucky we are today

To be the parents of six year old twins

It could so very easily

Have been so very different

In 2010 a baby born at 27 weeks

Had about an 80% chance of survival

For 55 nights I went home without my brand new babies

For 55 mornings we would walk in to NICU or SCBU

Not knowing what we might find

Life or death

Blood tests

Transfusions

Brain scans

Long lines

Blue lights

Heart scans

CPAP

I look back now

And throughout our NICU journey I was so outwardly positive

My bright and breezy birth announcement on Facebook

Not mentioning the fear that our babies might die

Jennie and David are proud proud parents of Esther Grace Henley born 7.33am and weighing 2lbs4oz and her little brother William Nairn Henley, born 7.55am and weighing 2lbs11oz. Both babies in special care where they will stay for 8 – 12 weeks but they are both doing really well. Welcome to the world Esther and William!!!

I must have felt that fear

Though I cannot remember it clearly now

I remember hurting and crying

And yelling

I remember David and I wishing there was someone who could just tell us what to do

I remember reading and singing to our babies in their incubators

I know I loved them before they were born

I know I would have been utterly broken

If one or both had died

I remember the babies on our unit who did die

And the guilt I felt that my babies were alive

My babies are alive

They are not babies anymore

They are six

They are not great big six year olds

I cannot say that

Prematurity has definitely affected their size

Especially William

Who in so many ways is more like a preschooler

Than a six year old boy

william

I don’t think we know yet

The full cost of them being extremely preterm

I think there are things we are yet to discover and understand

What I do know is

That my gorgeous boy

My beautiful girl

My crazy twins

Are six years old

They are six!

esther

They still love their ‘huggles’

I never give them enough

We need some time set aside for huggling

William loves trains above all else

Followed closely by diggers and dumpers

Esther loves ponies and arts & crafts

She is happiest when she is creating

They love being outside

Being by the sea

mud

They love special trips into London

They love the theatre and seeing shows

They love animals

And music

And pancakes with syrup

They love hide and seek

Climbing trees

Playing with water and mud

trees

There is so much I could say

About my two

As a collaborative

And on their own

I adore my children

I love them so much

I know I have not given them the best start in life

But seeing their smiling faces

Every single day

I think we are going to be okay

I think that they are going to be okay

Onwards and upwards we go

To 7!!

excited

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