My heart is breaking tonight
On the eve of the anniversary
Of gorgeous boy Georgie’s passing
On the eve of the day
That Bea will turn 11 months old
Bea walked today
Just a few steps
I was so excited and proud
Our beautiful baby will soon be a toddler
But I also shook with anger and sorrow
For Baby Tilda
Who never walked
Who never reached 11 months
My heart broke for Tilda
And for Georgie
Tonight as I sang Bea to sleep
I realised that even though it is July
I always sing Silent Night
The song I sang to Tilda every night
From the start of Advent 2012
Until February 2nd 2013
The night that she died
Now
When Bea is tired but cannot fall asleep
This is what I sing
And it never fails to soothe her
She always calms and falls asleep in my arms
Tomorrow Bea will be 11 months old
And she has slept every night of her life in my arms
I am not sure I will ever be able to put her down
I know I will always regret
Ever laying Tilda down to sleep
If she had always been in my arms
She might just be here now
But today is not a time for sadness
It is not a time for sorrow or regret
Today was a day to #liveitforgeorgie
And through the courage of his Mummy
We did
For Georgie and our own Matilda Mae
Dear Georgie and Tilda
This is what we did today
In honour of both of you
The morning started with Esther joining me in bed
David was up with Bea and William was still sleeping
Me and my biggest girl snuggled up together
And together we shared a couple of chapters
From My Naughty Little Sister
After breakfast
Daddy took Bea out in the buggy for her morning sleep
Esther, William and I created
The Lion King 2 small world
In a tuff spot and a gardening tray
We played together in the shade of Tilda’s apple tree
After an early lunch
We played in the garden
All together
Mummy, Daddy, Esther, William and Bea
We made rainbows on the lawn with the sprinkler
We danced in the rainbow
We slid through the rainbow
We chased rainbows
We splashed and dashed
We jumped and skipped and played
We had a wonderful summers afternoon
Of water play
And the rainbows were for Tilda
The rainbows were for Georgie
Hugo
Harry
Freddie
Hattie and Flic
Abigail
Matilda
Lily
Bea
The rainbows were for all the babies we know in the sky
Sadly far too many to list here now
Today was for you
Loving each other
Laughing together
Just being together
Simple summer, family fun
I want to do it all again tomorrow
God bless you babies in the sky
May you chase the rainbows and dance with the stars
We love you and miss you for always
On this day and every day
For all days
We do x
What a beautiful post Jennie. I’m doing #liveitforGeorgie too. So sad it often takes such tragedy to lead us to understand what is important. Thank you for remembering Hugo. It means a lot xxxx
Lovely post. Today we celebrated our rainbow baby’s 1st bday with all our lovely family and friends had a great day but for some reason has made me miss my baby girl I never got to bring home even more than normal. Finding it hard marking all the milestones I missed out on with her! Think I needed to read this today thank you xx
Beautiful babies. Looks like a wonderful day. Lots of love to you all x x x x
It sounds like you had a wonderful day of love and laughter and I can’t think of a better way of remembering all the babies that are no longer with us. I think the image of them ‘chasing the rainbows and dancing with the stars’ is just beautiful; whenever I see a rainbow or the stars at night I think of the babies that I hold in my own heart.