David only had one Fathers’ Day with Tilda

She was less than two months old

We miss our daughter every day

But on special days

Important occasions

We feel her absence even more

As our extended family comes together

It is so obvious that she is missing

Not rolling down the hill with the other children

Not clambering up and sliding down

One seat too few in the car

One mouth too few to feed

We miss Matilda for the baby she was

And the child she now should be

I find it so hard to write David’s cards

Putting a star where a name should be

Writing the name of our girl in the sky

Still feels the right thing to me

We miss Matilda for the baby she was

For all the things she did

But on day’s like today we also think

Of all the things she has missed

No first steps

No first word

No first time on a slide

We will never see her swim

Never see her run

She will never have a bike to ride

David will never hold her hand

As she bounces on a wobbly bridge

He will never take her sailing with Granddad Beard

Like all the other children did

He cannot sit with her on his lap

She will never choose a story to read

She’ll never ride shoulders or piggy back

She will never fall, never graze, never bleed

Matilda will never ask us why

Again and again and again

She will never make us laugh or cry

Make us feel like a day will never end

She will never collapse in a heap with her siblings

Negotiate what to watch on TV

No rough and tumble

One less snotty nose

Less laughter and smiling

Less tantrums thrown

One missing from photos

One missing from tea

Always a trick of light

In the gap

Where she clearly should be

Our daughter died as a baby

There is so much of her we’ll never see

We have a daughter we will never know

We have a daughter that can never grow

We have a daughter but we said goodbye

To our beautiful daughter who lives in the sky

We miss Matilda every day

But on special days

Important occasions

We feel her absence even more

On Fathers’ Day my heart breaks for Tilda

And for how incredibly brave her Daddy must be

One missing kiss

One missing hug

One missing daughter

One missing Matilda

On Fathers’ Day

And every day

One missing Matilda Mae