Mad Blog Awards Full Circle

ā€œThere is a pleasure sure
In being mad, which none but madmen know.

Dryden, The Spanish Friar II, iā€
ā€• Gerald Durrell, My Family and Other Animals

Last year I was a finalist in The MAD Blog Awards

In a few categories

The most important one for me

Was Best Pregnancy Blog

It was a category I knew I would not win

I did not want to win it

But I was incredibly proud to be a finalist

I was not in it to win it

I was in it to be a voice

For all those parents who do not get to bring their babies home

A voice for the 1 in 4 ladies who lose their babies to miscarriage

A voice for those whose babies are born silently

Born sleeping

I wanted, still want, to be a voice for charities

Who are working so hard

To make pregnancy easier, safer

To save little lives

I want to shout out about monitoring fetal movements

I want to make people get checked for Vasa Praevia

I want people to understand that pregnancy after loss is hard

So hard

I did not expect people to vote for me last year

But I wanted people to know who I was

I wanted, still want, you to read my words

And share the messages that might just save lives

This year I am a finalist in The MAD Blog Awards

For the fifth consecutive year

Five years, five finals

And this year I have come full circle

Back to the category in which I started

Perhaps a category in which I will always belong

Because my baby is a forever baby

And for the rest of time she will be at the heart of my blog

Matilda Mae

My Forever Baby

Always at the heart of all I do

sids8

Back in 2011

I was shy about wanting to win

Back then the babies being recognised

Were Esther and William

Reaching the finals was a celebration of their survival

Their bravery and strength

This year

2015

Reaching the finals is about extending Tilda’s legacy

And celebrating our beautiful Rainbow Baby

Beatrice Hope

peekaboo mads

Mine is not the easiest baby blog to read

18 months after Tilda died

Our Rainbow was due to be born

Growing a Rainbow is not easy

Naming one a huge responsibility

Bea arrived in a hurry

Our bringer of joy and hope

Of fresh worries and anxiety on the postnatal ward

Bringing her home was wonderful

Having a baby in the house again was hard

We enjoyed our fourth trimester

I spent a lot of time watching Bea breathe

I felt all the frustrations that a new mummy feels

With all of the guilt that a bereaved mummy feels

Raising a rainbow is physically, emotionally and mentally hard

Baby Bea is now 10 months old

Her cot has never been used

I love her more every single day

She is a beautiful baby

Living up to her carefully chosen name

wonderful chuckle

Bea is now older than her little big sister in the sky will ever be

#matildamae

I am so proud of my blog

I am so very grateful for it

All my documented memories

Especially of Matilda Mae

It would mean the world to me

If you would vote for Edspire

As we come full circle

Five years on

If you would vote for Edspire

In memory

In celebration

For all my beautiful babies

In this year’s MAD Blog Awards

In the category of Best Baby Blog

mads 15

Thank you

With all my broken heart

Thank you x

MAD Blog Awards UK 2015

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