Self Care

Lately I have been trying to think a little

About taking care of me

I am really struggling to enjoy life at the moment

I love my little family dearly

But I am not enjoying them at the moment

Every day feels like a battle

And one I am not often winning

My health is a concern

I am often in tears

And my self worth is on the floor

I need to find some self respect

And make room in my life

Time in each week

For a little self care

I have tried to haphazardly make a start

I have had a long overdue smear test

That thankfully came back normal

I have been to The Mole Clinic

For a full mole check

This was a fascinating experience

I learned so much about myself

About human skin

I have one mole that needs looking at again in three months

I have two to be checked annually

I have been reassures and educated

I know what I am looking for now

I have also taken action with my teeth

I have awful teeth

An overcrowded mouth and advanced gum disease

Sadly it has been handed down to me from my parents

Some of my teeth are starting to come looos

Through loss of gum and bone

Not helped by the fact I cannot clean them easily

Because they are so crooked

The realisation I may have false teeth before I am 50

Perhaps even 40 has spurred me on to do all I can

To save my teeth

My dental care has been on hold since having children

And suffering a string if wisdom tooth infections

Well, no more

Next week the problem teeth are coming out

And then I am going to make a care plan with the dentist

To deep clean my teeth and gum pockets

And try to improve my oral hygiene routine

All of this is going to take money and time

But it needs to be done

And in doing it I have realised

That I should not feel bad

I should not feel guilty for taking care of me

My children need me to be healthy

If I cannot be happy they at least need that

Parenting whilst battling pain, anxiety, health issues and grief

Is

Quite frankly

Bloody hard work!

Excuse me

So I have spoken to David

And together we have agreed

Half a day a week

For looking after me

Whatever that might be

A trip to the dentist

Seeing an osteopath

An eye check

A wellness check

Walking, swimming

Even shopping

Time away from children

Out of the house

Just for me

Realistically it is going to be a hit and miss

Until September

And Esther and William are at school

But then I might like two half days

As I would like to spend one afternoon a week in school

Since allowing myself to think about this time

About taking care of me

I have started planning what I might do in that time

And also how it will affect all my other days

If I have to drive to a medical appointment

Why not to a local park with Bea?

If I can go and see an osteopath

Why not go to a cafe and have an hour with a book?

If I can drive to get my hair cut

Why not to the sea

For some time just Tilda and me?

I think taking care of myself

Will lead to exciting things

David is going to take some time

He wants to exercise more

Perhaps train for triathlons again

And sometimes we might try and take our time together

And spend some time together again

Be a couple again

Just we!

The first thing for me is having my wisdom teeth out

Which will hopefully be happening next week

Then two weeks of recovery

A week of holiday

And then time to start a programme

Of making me a better me

I am quite excited about the possibility

Perhaps I will be a better me than I have ever been

ME TIME

What can I do with half a day?

Just planning the time is exciting

Imagine how I will feel if I am brave enough to see it through

Do you make a conscious effort to make time for self care?

I’d love to know if you do

8 thoughts on “Self Care

  1. Jennie, I am typing this with hairy legs, unshaved armpits and my hair shoved up in a ponytail. I do have make up on though, as always! In fairness, the unshaved-ness is because we are going on holiday on Sunday so I shall be having a de-fuzz on Saturday morning! That said, I have only left it that extra week because of this hehe! I definitely don’t spend enough time on myself. I work full time and have a toddler. I barely have time to do anything else (except for blog!). I haven’t been to the hairdressers for 7 months. I very much need to spend some time on me too!

    I think it will hugely benefit you to start taking care of yourself. You have been through so much, hopefully it will start bringing yourself a little higher in your esteem and feeling a little happier in life. I know it isn’t going to be a miracle, it won’t suddenly take away the pain of losing Tilda, but it may, just may make you feel a little better about yourself as a person.

    I hope you enjoy any little pamper you give yourself. Even having painted nails makes me feel like a princess these days!

  2. Oh I’m so pleased Jennie. This fills my heart. Looking after little ones is tough. Grieving is tough. Grieving AND looking after little ones? To borrow your phrase, bloody hell.

    Self-care is really hard to start to do. I had to learn that I deserve it, that I am not a bad person, that it is ok to indulge myself in such a way. Once you’re into it, though, it becomes a habit. And it does help. More energy to deal with the trials and tribulations of life.

    You deserve self-care time. Don’t ever forget that xxx

  3. This is such a good plan. I try to make time for myself – although it’s tough as there are always jobs to do around the house and things I want to do with the children.

    I found the best thing for me to create some “me time” was to join a choir. For a couple of hours a week, I’m totally focussed on something just for me – I can’t be on my phone, tidying, planning stuff for the kids etc. And the fact I’ve made the commitment to the choir means I’m much more inclined to do it. And the very act of singing in a group makes me feel much more calm.

    Good luck! xx

  4. I go to netball every week (although have been VERY slack the last few months due to the season ending) but that is my only 2 hours of free time without the kids. I used to paint my nails and try to do nice hairstyles, moisturise and take care of my body, but now I just don’t make the time-and I am so craving it. Good on you, I hope you enjoy your free time, even if it is doing something a bit mundane, it’s just nice to not hear the word ‘mummy’ for an hour or two and a bit of down time! Glad you have a appointment for your teeth as it sounds like you have been in agony with them recently xx

  5. You are so right Jenny, something we all need to do more. I see many carers of children with disabilities unable to find time for their own basic health care needs, and of course to do that amid grief and looking after a small family seems impossible. But nurture you you must. Much love Hayley

  6. Me time is so important and it’s so easy as Mum’s to think about me time more than actually engaging in me time, so I think it’s the best idea ever to have a proper plan! Sometime’s it doesn’t have to be the most grand of plans or ideas of all time, even just a trip to a cafe for 20 minutes peace and a read does me the world of good.

    Not just being a Mum deserves me time but dealing with grief most certainly requires ‘me time’. My sister, my best friend in the world, tragically lost her husband, her complete other half, 3 months ago now. I’m the next best thing to her so I’ve been juggling full time work, motherhood and being with my sister at every possible moment. Sometimes when we are so busy with life, doing the things we must do, we forget we need our own time to grieve. It’s by no means a comparison in circumstances but I definitely know the feeling of being guilty for sadness in such a busy life. Even just 10 minutes to daydream and think of wonderful memories by myself, does me the world of good.

    Stick to you’re me time. Its the least you deserve!

    M x

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