Birthdays in the Sky

Each year less and less people will remember Tilda’s birthday

But we will never forget

It is never going to be less important or significant to us

Her 4th birthday will be celebrated just as much as her first

Just as with our living children

Matilda Mae’s birthday will always be her birthday

Even if it is now Princess Charlotte’s birthday for most people

It will always be Tilda’s day for us

It will always matter to us

Some years will be harder than others

To make the most of her day

Next year will be difficult

Tilda would have turned 4

She would have been getting ready for school

Big school

She would have been getting ready to share a class

With Esther and William in our tiny village school

I imagine Matilda Mae’s 10th birthday will be hard

The year she would have reached double figures

Double digits

A decade since she died

13

The start of her teenage years

Sweet 16

Never been kissed?

17 and learning to drive

18

21

Our baby girl should become a woman

She would be fully grown

Her birthday will always matter

Will always be special for us

For me

I can count on my hands

The people who sent cards this year

Less than ten

It means so much that they do

Dead or alive

She is our daughter

And her birthday is her birthday

Nothing can ever take that away

And birthdays are as much for the parents as the children

I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl

On 2nd May 2012

And every 2nd of May

I will remember that day

That birth day

The birthday of Matilda Mae

Baby Tilda’s birthday

birthday lunch

If you know someone with a baby in the sky

Try if you can to remember them

Talk about them

Send them a card on their birthday

Just as you would for their living children

It really does mean the world to know

Our baby is not forgotten

cards and gifts

If you have a baby in the sky

What do you do to remember them?

How do you honour them

On their special days

And all days?

Here are some of the ways we remember Matilda Mae

On her birthday

Anniversary

And all days

Special Places
We have a few special places that we associate with Tilda

Her memory garden at the front of our house

The farm at Coombe Mill

Watergate Bay

The Headland Garden

The sea at Hastings and Hythe

These are places we go to remember our daughter

To be together and feel her close by

We try to go to the sea every month on or around the 2nd

To remember our little girl

Special Things
The things we associate with Tilda are

Pink and purple stars

Bubbles

Messy play

Special Songs
There are so many songs

So many

Here are a few

Starlight

Rule The World

In The Night Garden and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

There are so many songs that for me

Will always be linked to Tilda

Including My Angel written especially for her

And one song

For Matilda Mae

And another very special MM in the sky

Taken from her family too soon

Traditions
We try to wear pink and purple and stars on special Tilda days

We go to the sea for special days or when we want to feel Tilda close

We send bubbles to the sky when go somewhere special or somewhere new

We light candles at special times or when we are feeling low

We talk about Tilda all the time to anyone who will listen

We celebrate her birthday with presents and cards and a party tea

Legacy
In Baby Tilda’s memory we

Raise awareness of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, particularly in older babies

We raise money and awareness for The Lullaby Trust

We work with Count The Kicks and Bliss

Saving little lives

I use this blog to share our story in Tilda’s name

I write about family life after loss

I would like to find ways to work with professionals and charities

To improve bereavement care and support

For the young siblings of babies who die

#siblingsunday1

I would give anything to have Tilda back in my arms

Instead I do all I can to keep her in our lives

On her birthday

On special days

And all days

rainbow bubbles

If you know someone with a baby in the sky

Try if you can to remember them

Talk about them

Send them a card on their birthday

Just as you would for their living children

It really does mean the world to know

Our baby is not forgotten

If you have a baby in the sky

What do you do to remember them?

How do you honour them

On their special days

And all days?

I would love to know your story and theirs

say my name

2 thoughts on “Birthdays in the Sky

  1. Our baby girl died 13 years ago this September, the first few years people remembered her birthday, now more people ‘remember’ or reach out to us on her anniversary. This makes me sad, I personally find her birthday harder, that’s the time she ‘should have been…..’
    We always have a family day, take our son out, make time for us together. We talk, we laugh, we love…. That’s our way of keeping her memory alive, even though our son is 11 our ‘Ellie days’ are sacred. I just hope for our sake as he gets older they remain that way, otherwise a little part of me will feel like I’ve lost a part of them both

  2. Oh, Jennie. I think of you and Matilda at some point in every day even though I’ve never met you, but especially on significant dates. For me, the Princess’ birth did not overshadow the fact that the 2nd May was, is and always will be Tilda’s day. Your story has really touched me and I think it is wonderful how much you include Esther and William and now Bea in celebrating and honouring your beautiful baby girl. Xx

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