As the evening falls
And the chaos of the day fades away
As the Rainbow in my arms falls heavy with slumber
My cheeks are stained with tears
Tomorrow is her day
Our day
My day
The day three years ago
I gave birth to my third child
My beautiful miracle baby
Matilda Mae
The baby that healed my heart for a short while
The baby that healed the hurt
Of round after round of IVF
The baby that stayed inside me nine months to the day
Taking the pain of the twins premature birth
The gentle water birth
That softened the blows of the trauma I suffered with Esher and William
The baby that made it home for tea
Making up for her siblings 59 long days in NICU
Our beautiful healthy full term baby
Who was straight away able to meet family and friends
She was sent to fix me
She was sent to heal me
But she wasn’t sent to stay
Tomorrow is her day
Our day
My day
The day three years ago
I gave birth to my third child
My beautiful miracle baby
Matilda Mae
The baby that healed my heart for a short while
Tomorrow my daughter should be three
We should be wrapping presents
Making party preparations
And we are
But for a toddler who is not here
A toddler we know only as a baby
And we will have a lovely day in her honour
But it hurts so much that she is not here
We will sing songs for her
Open gifts for her
Eat cake with candles and wishes
We will go to the sea
Blow bubbles to the stars
We will smile and laugh
And make it okay
But it is not okay
It can never be okay
That we celebrate the birthday
Of a baby not here
Of our baby not here
Our daughter never here
And the chaos of the day fades away
As the Rainbow in my arms falls heavy with slumber
My cheeks are stained with tears
Tomorrow is her day
Our day
My day
The day three years ago
I gave birth to my third child
My beautiful miracle baby
Matilda Mae
The baby that healed my heart for a short while
For the shortest while
And then she died
I’ve been thinking about you all day. She should be three. She should be here eating birthday cake and too many sweets. I so wish that she was. sending lots of love, as always x x x
Sending love to you tonight and for tomorrow. Happy 3rd birthday beautiful angel Tilda. I hope you have a wonderful birthday in the stars x
My heart breaks for you. I will be thinking of you all tomorrow ( and from now). X
Sending love to you all and floaty birthday kisses and cake to beautiful Matilda Mae xxx
Tomorrow is a day full of bittersweet memories, Matilda Mae, is and always will be a special part of your family, to celebrate her short life, on her birthday each year, is a wonderful thing.
To cry is good, but to remember her beautiful smiles, her little chuckles and the times you spent snuggled together, is also good.
May the day ahead, go as smoothly as possible, may her siblings, celebrate for her and too her, may you all know, she would of loved to of been there, but will be in all of your hearts forever x
Sending floaty Birthday wishes to heaven, for Matilda Mae’s 3rd Birthday x
I’ll be thinking of you more than usual tomorrow. Much love xxxx
I have no words that can offer anything other than love and thoughts for you and yours xxx
I shall be thinking of you tomorrow and shedding tears for the true beauty who is sharing her birthday with not just all of us, but the angels too. Happy Birthday Matilda. You are desperately missed.
Celebrate this wonderful angels life with your family. xxx
I am so sorry for your loss. I would also like to say a massive thank you for your sharing, and your beautiful writing. This is such a generous offering, and a very special gift of love. Xxx
I’ve been thinking of you all day today, and will be tomorrow too, Lots of love and hugs!
Happy birthday Matilda, I hope your having a party in the sky, dancing with the stars. xxx
What an amazing little baby , I think about her often and of you. I wish I could give you a big hug right now. I think she would have been such a smiley 3 year old x I’ll be thinking of you lots tomorrow xx
My heart breaks for you. I will be thinking of you all tomorrow x x
That made me tearful, I cannot imagine how you are feeling Jennie. What a beautiful baby, such a gorgeous smile and big brown eyes. She’ll never be forgotten. Thinking of you on Matilda Mae’s special day tomorrow xx
I will be thinking of you all today xx
My heart breaks for you reading this, it must be agony. xx