“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”
― Dr. Frederick Douglass 18171895

One of the things I am very aware of is that Esther and William have had a tougher start to life than most children

Born three months premature, losing a sister before they were two, starting school when they were really still only three

They have faced tough times and come out smiling

I hope it is because in spite of it all

They know how very loved they are

I may not be the most fun mummy

I may not smile and laugh as much as some

I may not be as carefree as others can afford to be

But I do love all my children deeply

And I tell them so every single day

I tell them that I love them

And I hope that I show them too

I am determined to do so more

And to find a way to laugh and giggle and play

The way a non grieving mummy would

The way a mummy should

I am aware that we have had dark times

And my children need to see some light

They need to enjoy some happier times

And feel confident in how loved and treasured and cherished they are

One way I share my love

Is through books

And these are a few of my favourites

I’ll Be There by Ann Stott
I often worry about Esther and William. They did not have the bonding fourth trimester I had with Tilda and Bea. I have been pregnant or with a baby for most of their four years. I worry that they have not had and do not have enough of me. I want to strengthen and protect our bond. I want us all to know that the best is still to come. I want them to know how much I love them and that I will always be there. I want to slow down time because I cannot have our time again and I want to make the most of every moment before all too soon they are grown. I want Esther and William to know that I will always be here, loving them and caring for them as much as they will let me.

Even when you’re big, I will be there

Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You by Nancy Tillman
This beautifully illustrated book tells children in perfect rhymes that wherever they go, whatever they do, their parents will love them and be there for them. It is a book I want to share over and over again with my children so that they know my love is unconditional, so they have no doubt in their minds that whenever they need me I will be there. And it is a promise I know I will keep for always, for the rest of my life, when my children need me, I will be there.

My love is so high and so wide and so deep
it’s always right there, even when you’re asleep…
… If you’re still my small babe
Or you’re all the way grown
My promise to you
Is you’re never alone

On The Night You Were Born by Nancy Tillman
This book celebrates your little ones and how special and unique they each are. When any of us are feeling sad this is a book I reach for to remind us how blessed we are to have one another and to have had Baby Tilda in our lives. This is a book bursting with love.

Heaven blew every trumpet
and played every horn
on the wonderful, marvelous
night you were born

When The World Was Waiting For You by Gillian Shields
I bought this when I was pregnant with Bea. It is a pretty little board book that tells how a family of rabbits prepare for their new baby. It tells of the waiting, the anticipation and the arrival of a baby, so precious and new. It shows children how much they are loved before they are even born. And how they are adored ever after.

We held you close
And spoke your name
So full of joy
So glad you came

Love You Forever by Robert Munsch
Do not make the mistake I made and read this to your children without first reading it alone with a box of tissues. It is from this book that a much used quote in the baby loss community comes.

I’ll love you forever
I’ll like you for always
As long as I’m living
My baby you’ll be

This book breaks my heart. Our children grow so fast before our very eyes. And each day that passes we do not get again.

This book breaks my heart because our forever baby will not realise the potential of her life, we will never know who or what she might have been.

This book has a message for us all, make the most of every moment and love your little ones with all your heart. And tell them every single day that you do. That no matter what, you do.

Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney
A children’s classic. A timeless love story to be enjoyed over and over again. This story reminds me of Tilda and her love of bunnies. It reminds me of Tilda in the sky, our angel baby that we love to the moon and back. Sometimes I feel it, the love for my children, so strong, so tangible, so real. I feel it bursting out of me and I cannot comprehend the size of it, so how can I make them understand just how much I love them? I can tell them, over and over again. I can share with them beautiful books like this one to help them understand that love is not an easy thing to measure.

Forever by Emma Dodd
One thing I want my children to know is that I will love them forever, no matter what. No matter what they do or where they go, I will always love them. This book says just that, through beautiful lyrics and powerful pictures of polar bears it tells how a father will love his cubs forever. A wonderful love story for children to share.

When you’re scared and feel unsure
You’ll find me right beside you
If you’re ever feeling lost
You know I’ll always find you

You by Emma Dodd
A pair of cheeky monkeys adorn the cover and pages of this book. This simple poetic story tells how as parents we love our children more and more every day. Every little bit of them. Wonderful illustrations. A great book to snuggle up and share to build your little ones’ confidence, to tell them just how much you love them, every little bit.

I love every bit of you, your eyes and ears and nose
I love every bit of you, from your head down to your toes

Me by Emma Dodd
I love the cover of this book. A mummy penguin protecting her fluffy baby penguin with love. In simple repetitive phrases the baby penguin observes how small he is compared to the world around him. He knows about all the things in the world but he is not frightened for his mummy is big and kind and loves him. He knows that his mummy will protect him. In fact, the book does not state if the adult penguin is mummy or daddy or someone else. It is the adult who looks after him and protects him from the world.

I may be small, but I can see the biggest thing to you is me

Tell your children how much you love them this Valentine’s Day.

Make sure they know.