Today Bea and I had our 6 week check
It was at our local surgery
A Practice we know and trust
Despite registering her at the surgery
5 weeks ago
Her name still comes up as Unknown Henley
Today we saw a doctor that I had not seen before
She was friendly and kind
She checked Bea and commented on what a happy baby she was
She observed that Bea is a big baby
She did not weigh Bea nor measure her in anyway
When she was typing up her notes
I noticed that she had written ‘chubby’
When I read this aloud she said that yes, she thought Bea was chubby
She asked if there was any diabetes in my family
Stating that diabetes can be a reason for large babies
She said if I were not so slim she would recommend I get tested for diabetes
I asked if she was worried about Bea’s weight
If I should be concerned
She said that she would keep a close eye on her weight
That she was definitely chubby
And that if I were formula feeding she would advise me to feed her less
As she was talking my blood started to boil
She was telling me that my baby looked over weight
Fat? Obese?
I did not think you could over feed a breastfed baby?
Did she not believe me that I was feeding Bea myself?
And if she was unsure as to how much of a concern Bea’s weight should be
Why did she not get the scales out and weigh her?
Babies are often chubby
Cuddly
Bea was over 9lbs when she was born
I am so cross with what I believe is an irresponsible and inappropriate comment
By my GP
I came away angry and determined to get a second opinion
I also came away questioning my diet, my own weight
And, of course, the weight of Bea
I came away angry that a mummy more vulnerable than me
May have come away confused, distressed and taken unnecessary perhaps dangerous action
After discussing Bea
The doctor turned to me
She checked my blood pressure
I told her about Esther and William and Tilda
She said that she was sorry to hear about Tilda
And then moved on
She just moved on
I gave her the perfect opening
To ask me how I was feeling
How I was coping
But she didn’t
She did not ask a bereaved mother
A mummy who had lost a baby
A baby girl
How she was finding life with her new baby girl
She had my notes right there
The counselling referral
PTSD
Yet my mental health was not discussed at all
I actually feel fine at the moment
But what if I had not been
Many mothers
Bereaved or not
Suffer from depression post partum
I wish my GP had brought it up
She was keen to talk contraception with me
I told her our chosen method and that we were happy with that
What she typed on the screen was
‘Not keen to discuss contraception’
After birth I was very anaemic and prescribed iron tablets
I had assumed she would check my Hb levels to see if they were still required
I also thought that she may have mentioned a smear test
I already have a note in my diary
For when I need to book a test
But other mothers may not
And this has made me cross
The six week check for mummy and baby is important
There should be a dialogue
And the proper checks should be made
For baby and for mummy
If there are concerns
They should be fully explained and documented
And if there is a query about baby’s weight
Dear Doctor
Please take out the scales and weigh the baby
And then make a plan
Today I came home
So angry
That our 6 week check did not check much at all
Has mostly caused doubt and confusion and has left me with questions upon questions
I came home and called my Health Visitor
Who will next week come and weigh Bea
And talk to me about how she is doing
How we all are doing
And about Matilda Mae
I have been contacted by so many mummies today
Whose 6 week check did not check much at all
This needs to change!
This makes me angry too. At my 10 day check, the community midwife told me I was over feeding my son and I should go down to feeding every 4 hours rather than every 3. I did this as it was my first child and I was too trusting, but then he got massively dehydrated and had to go to hospital and get formula fed. So I malnourished my baby on the advice of a midwife who, like yours, didn’t bother weighing him. What is the point of mentioning weight or diabetes in your case – it will only worry you! My 6 week check also useless. I reckon the nhs is so underfunded that they have completely given up on post natal care. I relied on friends, blogs and Twitter mostly which is sad xx
About Bea’s weight, my boys were both 10lb plus when they were born. I breastfed to start, but I wasn’t able to keep up with what they needed. My HV (remember this is over 20 years ago!) told me that then the guidelines said when a baby was 12lb they could begin to have solids – I started with a tspn of baby rice mixed with breastmilk. How times have changed.
Go with your instincts, she is well, happy, feeding well. She will soon change shape when she becomes more active.
As an aside, my mother was told when I was a baby (cough some 54 years ago) that a chubby baby was a happy baby!!
With regard to the registering of Bea at the Surgery, I suggest a letter to the practise manager may be the way forward? and perhaps explain how you feel about your 6 week check experience? It may improve practise for those other Mummies you refer to.
Hugs x
I’m not saying this is the case but perhaps she was concerned about her weight for medical reasons e.g. Diabetes, sleep apnea, her physical well being ? She should have gone about it in a better way and explained why her being “chubby” is an issue. Personally, instead of writing a blog post about it I would have put my efforts into booking another appointment with a Doctor that I trust for a re check and have given constructive feedback in reference to that GP.
If you are a regular reader of the edspire blog you will notice how Jenni uses her blog as a diary of the event. She concentrated on ensuring she had a second opinion by her HV & the blog post is to raise awareness about how the 6 week checks need to change.
Oh Jennie, how horrible! I felt for you when I read this. If I’m honest, my 6week check experiences have been similar to this, but I would have thought, given the history with Tilda, that perhaps they would have been on special alert??! In any case, I’m so glad to hear you have a proactive health visitor you can trust. Bea does not look chubby in her photos… She looks like a happy, healthy baby who is thriving.
Reading this has made me feel cross… But I’m so glad you’ve written it! Perhaps there needs to be more direction for what the purpose of the six week check actually is…
Until then, keep writing. I know I always find it helpful therapy to get things down on “paper” but also you are raising awareness and asking questions that need to be asked!
Xxx
See this. You are definitely NOT alone.
http://www.nct.org.uk/press-release/nct-netmums-research-finds-six-week-postnatal-check-unsatisfactory
I think it’s shocking she called her chubby – that’s what babies need in case they get ill! The fact she only went on appearances is even worse. I would definitely make a complaint about her to the practice manager. That is so not on in so many different ways.
I am shocked reading this. a six week check should include so much more! weighing the baby should be a basic check but especially if they’re going to suggest there could be a problem. I am so sorry that this has happened. I hope you feel better after the HV appointment, although I know how long a week can feel when you’re waiting for answers xx
This is a disgrace. I can understand your fury. I think the GP missed the point of the check – to make judgements about Bea’s weight without weighing her and to not ask about a mum’s emotional well being is unacceptable. I’d definitely make a complaint to the practice – I made a complaint about something similar – the way a GP spoke to me after losing Hugo – and I got a profuse apology saying they’d reflected on the way the communicate. Whether it not they change the way they communicate is another matter but I felt a bit better for saying something xxxx
Oh my goodness I’m so sorry to hear your six week check was so very much not how a six week check should be – it astonishes me that they didn’t even weigh Bea, that’s one of the big checks they’re supposed to do isn’t it. I’m so glad that your health visitor is coming out to see you but I’d second the suggestion to write to the practice manager – you can’t be the only person suffering from a poor check up but if no one says anything (or doesn’t know that’s not how it’s supposed to be) they can’t change it.
I pretty much ignored every bit of advice given for my baby – just because it wasn’t right. At the 6 month check up I was told to feed her high calorie foods as she had dropped on the charts – not drastically. She was breastfeed, and getting plenty so I paid no attention – at 12 months it was about the same, and they came again at 15 months and she was fine and had gained it back, without me changing anything.
I think that if a baby is getting what she needs, the rest is unimportant. Bea will ‘lose’ the chubby look when she is move active – but personally I love to see a chubby cheeked baby – I think bea is adorable. Xxx
Thank you for all your comments x I am going to write to practice and explain my disappointment with the checks and will also be talking it all through with my health visitor on Wednesday. I have now read the net mums and nct research, hopefully if more women speak out about their experiences the checks will change and improve x
That is shocking! How could the doctor discuss weight when she has never weighed her. So very rude….When my girls were little the 6 weeks checks, checked everything. Maybe it’s a sign of the times….Everything rushed and not done properly.
I hope your health visitor is more understanding xxx
unbelievable! i have my 6 week check next week and im really glad ive read this. its made me feel confident and now i know what to ask if anything is missed.
ive seen your photos and Bea is perfect, not ‘chubby’. i hope your HV does a much better job 🙂 definitely lodge a complaint. first time mums may be at risk
Jenni my daughter was born 5 weeks prematurely in 2009 but weighed 5lbs 13oz at birth. I used to go and get her weighed weekly. When she was approx 4 months old, she had put on a whole pound in 1 week (I was breastfeeding) and was also told that she was chubby and if i was formula feeding they would be really concerned. Now 5, she is the tallest in her class and well built. I do not remember my 6 week check with her. Awareness definately needs to be raised…. your blog post does this perfectly and i would just print it off and hand it into the surgery as it also shows the feelings caused by a poor 6 week check up. Bea is beautiful. Chubby is beautiful. Continue doing a fab job!!
this is exactly why I have never bothered to book a 6 week check. Drs…
At my 6 week check I told the Gp I was feeling very low, was hardly sleeping as feeding my premature twins was so challenging, and I had no support ( and a single mum). Oh, she said, so you are managing ok then, and put a no next to the bit where is said ‘at risk of PND’ !! Do complain,and don’t worry! x
This post reminds me of the inappropriate language used to me by doctors, nurses and health professionals on a number of occasions during pregnancy, labour and postnatally. Poor communication skills and rudeness such as you describe seem to be fairly widespread. When a new mother is feeling vulnerable for whatever reason, she does not need this sort of treatment. I remember the doctor at the clinic using the word “gross” to describe my daughter’s birthweight (she was 10 pounds) . I also remember being described as “beefy” by the anaesthetist who was about to administer the epidural. A nurse at a prenatal check described my breasts as “flat as a pancake” “No chance of you breastfeeding”. These words still stick in my mind after twenty odd years. I felt insulted at a time when I was vulnerable and not perceiving myself as particularly feminine and attractive. In your shoes now Jennie, I would complain. It is totally unacceptable. I am a health psychologist and research has demonstrated that the negative impact of this sort of treatment can be profound and far reaching.
I think sadly this is a case in many situations. I think I felt much more at ease with mine the 2nd time around and it did seem much more thorough and more friendly that when had Alex 3 years earlier.
When I had Alex I had just turned 20, so was very young, and think I did find it very hard adjusting at first like any new parent, but like you say their main priority seemed to be about contraception. I think I did suffer with anxiety throughout pregnancy with Alex and definitely afterwards but I didn’t feel confident enough to speak up as felt that they wouldn’t really have listened as didn’t seem to bothered about anything other than trying to give me the pill!
Sorry to hear yours was not a good check up, thank goodness you are an experienced Mum so know better xx