In less than seven weeks our Rainbow will be here
In all her glorious colours she will be here
I hope that she will be healthy and well
And we will be able to bring her home
I am looking forward to my bump becoming a baby
I cannot wait to count her little fingers and kiss her tiny toes
I cannot wait to feel the warmth of her
The weight of her
I cannot wait to drink her in
I cannot wait for her to feed from me
My introduction to breastfeeding
Was not an easy one
I expressed milk for my premature twins
For 6 weeks before they were able to start trying to feed themselves
We began with hand expressing
Chasing tiny beads of colostrum with a syringe
Capturing that precious goodness
For our tiny newborn twins
When Esther and William were in their incubators
David and I used to go into a tiny little room
Attach an industrial double breast pump
And milk me like a cow
That is how it felt at the beginning
Not the idea of feeding my babies I had imagined
Had heard about, read about
But in a tiny room
No babies crying for their feed
They were being fed at regular intervals
Through a tube
David was amazing through those early days
I had to express every three hours
Round the clock
For 59 days until our babies came home
And through the night
He would get up with me
Help with the expressing
The container labelling
Storing and freezing
It was not the start to our parenting journey we had hoped for
But we had our motivation
Two tiny babies who needed the goodness from me to grow
So though we woke to an alarm clock
Rather than to our son and daughter crying
The love in what we were doing
The importance of what we were doing
Was still the same
When Esther and William first started to learn to feed from me themselves
It gave me some magical memories that I will treasure for always
The connection I had been longing for was there
I also have funny memories of that time
At first Esther and William had the sucking reflux
But they could not swallow
Precious breast milk ended up everywhere
But it was okay
They were trying
They were learning
They had come so far
We had come so far
By the time we took them home
At 35 weeks
Esther and William were feeding on demand
They continued to do so for 15 months
Until I fell pregnant with their sister
Matilda Mae
Matilda Mae was born at term
She was a little jaundiced when she was born
She fed a lot in the early days
I had cracked nipples and two bouts of mastitis
In the first 9 weeks
But we did not not give up
I would not give in
I wanted to feed her as I had done Esther and William
We soon found our rhythm
And like her brother and sister before her
She loved milk
Tilda had a preferred side and from 6 months I was incredibly lopsided
But I did not mind
Tilda was slow to wean
She much preferred milk to solids
So when she died at 9 months old
She was still demand feeding
We were still
Together
It made losing her all the more difficult
All the more painful
As I was still producing her milk in those earliest days alone
I would cry salty tears into the sink where I was expressing the milk that I no longer had a use for
Breastfeeding has given me an incredible bond with all of my children
I know that I have been lucky to find feeding easy
My body seems to be good at producing milk
At least it has been up until now
Who knows what lies ahead for Rainbow Baby?
But I hope to be able to feed her
As I have her siblings before her
I hope to have that incredible bond
It means the world to me
Nursing
Feeding
I hope that it is something I can do
For Rainbow when she comes
To read more about my breastfeeding story
You can read this post about feeding premature twins
To read about breastfeeding from alternative points of view
You might like to try the following
For now I am going to try and get some sleep before Brit Mums Live Day 2. I am quite sad that I have not brought my Theraline Maternity and Nursing Pillow with me. A perfect accessory for anyone pregnant or feeding!
Thoroughly support the campaign, I fed my first till he was 6 months (had to go back to work) was such a special (and exhausting) time.
It was the right thing to do for us and I hope to do it again, just hoping I can, there’s always a worry that it won’t work somehow
I wanted to bond more with my twins x
I choose to breastfeed because it’s so easy and convenient
Thank you so much for sharing that very touching post, I’m crying here while looking at our 3 little ones <3
I chose to give it my best go as I wanted to give the possible best start in life for the life we created and I carried for 9 months, unfortunately things don't always go the way we want and I ended up pumping (severe reflux, milk intolerance, fussy baby, tongue tie to name a few problems we've had), but at least 2 of our babies have gotten breast milk for 4+ months and one for 3 months until he got his diagnose for reflux and milk intolerance and was put on medication and soy milk thus my milk, which was making him sick was no longer needed.
Because it’s free and after feeding my first it was so I could have the same bond I have with her with my other daughter and again with my son
Thanks for sharing your story! X
Love your daughters names x
ive always wanted to bf. i know that it will benefit us both
Its best for baby and its free
It wasn’t something I had to think about or decide, I just knew I wanted to do it
It just seemed to be the most natural and normal thing to do…
She needs food and comfort. I make milk. Why not?!
I wanted what was best for my babies, however hard it has been at times 🙂
Pingback: Breastfeeding hacks - simple tips to help with baby feeding |
To try to help give my babies the best start i could and to bond with them x
It never really made the choice. Until the moment she was born I hadn’t decided, then it just felt like the natural thing to do x
Follow you and love your blog such honesty
Bf as it’s meant to be despite issues along the way needing to go private to get a tricky tt snipped this time.
Exclusively pumped for dd ascouldbt latch so know that feeling of being like a cow being milked but soon got used to it and did for 21mths my milk is best regardless of how they get it x
Keep your water glass topped up
It just felt like the right choice
I didn’t see breastfeeding as a choice, rather just what needed to happen.
I have often read your posts through a veil of tears. I so hope that all goes well with with your rainbow. x
Seemed more convenient that transporting formula around. Although we did not have the easiest start.
It was something I always wanted to do. It was harder than I thought it would be though.
Oh I am so sorry for your loss x
It was not a decision but a need
I chose to feed to help make my babies as healthy as possible.
Free and convenient – best for baby.
I did not see formula as an option; my daughter is not a cow.
Lovely post as always – thank you for the link
Thank you for linking to me. I chose to breastfeed because it struck me as the normal way to feed a baby.
It was best for my baby x
We are planning on breast feeding our first due in three weeks for the health benefits.
I could not breastfeed with my daughter as she was born 10 weeks early .x
I just always meant to, but didn’t realise it was so tricky at first. So glad I persevered!
There were so many reasons but my favourite is not having to go downstairs in the middle of the night to make s bottle.