Today I am 26 weeks pregnant with our Rainbow
But it doesn’t matter
Nothing matters today
Apart from the fact that tomorrow is May
Another May without Matilda Mae
Tomorrow begins our month of Mae
Tomorrow is Tilda’s birthday eve
And after that her birthday
The day our daughter should turn two
Instead we will mark her second birthday in the sky
For Esther and for William
There will be presents
Bunting and balloons
Cakes and candles
Music, songs
We will celebrate for Baby Tilda
We will blow bubble kisses up to the sky
Because what else is there to do?
Tomorrow is the eve of her birthday
The day will start with the feed run
Here at Coombe Mill Farm
Then we will play and have an early lunch
Before heading for Fowey
And the Headland Gardens
Where we spent Tilda’s birthday last year
We are going to wander through the gardens
Stay a while on the private beach
Then find a quaint cafe
For afternoon tea
Before proper preparations begin
Presents to wrap
Rooms to decorate
All in readiness for her special day
I hope she can see from her cloud in the sky
How we remember her
How much we miss her
How we love her
How we would spoil her if she were here
I cannot find a way to make this make sense
I cannot find a way to make it feel real
That I have a baby who should turn two
But is actually dead
In the sky
I am not sure how life ever makes sense after that
After Tilda
After Matilda Mae died
Happy Birthday Eve Eve gorgeous girl – have a fab time up there with all the angels. Think of you hun xoxo
Loosing her will never make sense!
I hope you have a clear sky tomorrow evening and on her birthday evening too; I hope you can look up and see her star shining on you all.
Happy birthday eve eve, little lady.
I am thinking of you all tonight and will be thinking of you all tomorrow. It’s just not right to read that a child won’t be celebrating their birthday. I think your plans sound wonderful and I’m sure Matilda Mae will be watching over the day and be very proud of her family.