In May 2012

My miracle baby

Matilda Mae was born

She was with us for a wonderful 9 months

Before she died suddenly and unexpectedly in her sleep

Sudden Infant Death

At 6pm you have your beautiful baby in your arms

Feeding to sleep

At a little past 10pm she is dead

Just dead

We do not know why Tilda died

No suffocation

No overheating

No heart problems

No illness

She was a beautiful healthy baby

And she just died

We do not know why

We may never know why

But there is one chance

That the work of The Lullaby Trust

Together with researchers and scientists

Experts around the world

There is a chance that one day they will be able to answer our question

A question I ask myself every day

Why my daughter?

Why Matilda Mae?

Why did my daughter have to die?

This chance of an answer

Is why I have been working so hard

To raise money for The Lullaby Trust

To help to fund the research that may lead

To the answer we so desperately need

And we are not alone

600 babies die suddenly and unexpectedly every year

For 300 of those a reason is found

But 300 families like ours

Have no clue as to why their baby had to die

On 2nd May

On what should be Tilda’s 2nd birthday

She will have been dead for 15 months

15 months without our daughter

15 months of watching other children grow

Knowing that our baby in the sky

Will forever be 9 months

Knowing that there is nothing we can do

That will bring our baby back.

I am really struggling at the moment

So many children I know or see online

Are turning two

Asking for present recommendations

Planning parties

Complaining that their baby is not a baby anymore

I would give anything in the world

To have a feisty two year old right now

Anything in the world

Instead I am sat here

Thinking of all that could have been

Should have been

For Matilda Mae and me

We live in a lovely, idyllic Kent village

We have a large garden full of apple trees

Before Tilda died

David and I had been planning her first birthday

We were going to have a barn dance in our garden

We were going to invite family and friends

And throw open our doors to our neighbours and villagers

David and I had a barn dance for our engagement party

And for our wedding

Both were incredibly special

And we wanted to create that magic again

Of course it did not happen

Tilda never turned one

Instead on her first birthday

We sent her ashes over the sea to the sky

This year

For Tilda’s second birthday

We will return to her river at Coombe Mill

But we are also going to have that barn dance

Her barn dance, originally planned for last year

The Baby Tilda Barn Dance

And we would love for you to join us

The Baby Tilda Barn Dance is being held on Saturday 31st May 2014

It will start at 12 noon and finish around 6.30pm

The barn dance will be held in The Millennium Hall in Egerton, Kent

Which is where David and I had our wedding reception

We are hoping to sell 150 tickets

And have lots of lovely things planned for our guests

We will have live music provided by Tapestry

An indie band fronted by the rather lovely Fi from Childcare Is Fun

I have heard her sing and you will not want to miss this opportunity to hear her too

We have a Barn Dance band with caller to lead the dancing

And we will be providing a rather lovely afternoon tea made by Twice as Nice Catering

There will be a children’s play marquee

Provided by Beebies Baby Store who has also agreed to help coordinate and host the event

For children there will be fair style games and a Fabric Fancies afternoon tea

Among many other things that I cannot wait to tell you all about it

For now though I want to tell you that

Tickets are on sale for the dance

We have kept the costs as low as we can

£10 for over 11s, £5 for anyone aged 3 – 11, under threes are free

You can buy the tickets from Beebies Baby Store

As well as guests and willing dancers!!

We also need sponsors and prizes for the raffle

The more money companies can donate for sponsorship

The more of our ticket money we can give directly to The Lullaby Trust

We have a range of sponsorship opportunities available

Ranging from £10 to £100

And you can find out more about them here

If you would like to donate a raffle prize

Then please email me at jennie@edspire.co.uk

The Baby Tilda Barn Dance is in memory of a very special little girl

And to raise money for The Lullaby Trust

To arm them in their fight against SIDS

To help them promote safe sleep for babies

And to fund research to the one question parents of SIDS babies ask themselves every single day

Why did my baby die?

Please come along to the Baby Tilda Barn Dance

It promises to be a fantastic day filled with family fun

And if you are able to sponsor our charity event

Then please please do

Thank you x