Driving home from the sea today I was thinking about how William and Esther must now only remember Tilda in pictures
As I was deep in this thought
This conversation happened around me and the tears began to fall
William: Why is Baby Tilda in the sky
David: Because she died, William
William: Why did she die?
David: We don’t know
Esther: Now it’s just us
Pause
Esther: One of us is missing
William: Which one is missing?
David: Who is missing, William?
William: Baby Tilda
Today has been a sad and difficult day
For all of us
Because one of us
And always will be
Missing
Esther and William will never forget their beautiful baby sister. You are still a family of 5 and they will always remember Tilda is with them in spirit looking after them and watching out for them. You are so amazing Jennie to keep talking and expressing how you feel. I shut down even after an argument with my husband and I have never experienced grief like yours. You keep Matilda’s spirit alive in all you do and say and because of that you are giving William and Esther memories of their sister they will never forget. I admire you so much Jennie – I hope one day we can meet in person xx
Your children are perhaps the most intelligent and Insightful I have ever met. They will never forget Matilda, she lives on in everything they do. I cannot begin to imagine your heartache, Only offer support and friendship as you move from one heart breaking step to the next. I am just so incredibly sorry that you’re all going through this. Sending virtual hugs and so much love x x x
I can’t begin to fathom how you all, but especially you, feel, but it is lovely, in such a sad sad way, that they obviously love their baby Tilda so much. Sending much love xx
I am so sorry Jennie xxxxxx
Your children are amazing, and so caring… Mel
Jennie I think watching your children gradually forget Tilda – in the physical tangible state that they knew and loved her – must be one of the most heartbreaking elements of your loss. I believe that you will in some way get this back – when later in life both of them – and their new sibling not yet born – will want to know all they can about Matilda Mae. Imagine if you had a lost a sibling who you could barely recall – I imagine if that were me it would have a massive impact on my adult life and would colour my family existence. They are the centre of their own tight tiny worlds – just now. But do not think they will entirely forget – she is kept alive in your family and will continue to be so for all the days and years to come xx
Bless them, sending hugs to you all x
Heartbreaking. So sweet that they talk about her, it must be so confusing for them. We know all too well how hard it is holding your lost little one in your thoughts non-stop, while seeing them fade from the thoughts of others around you.
I am so sorry Jennie, it must be little conversations like this that break your heart a little bit more. When I am upset, if Noah says something sweet like that it makes my heart break a little bit more.
Just be assured that they do remember her, they will never forget her and she may well be missing in physical presence, she will never be missing entirely! xxx
I am just reading this again and thinking of you all. She is so beautiful xxx