This weekend just gone has been all about Matilda Mae as we mark 13 months without our baby girl

Last weekend I had for me, and Rainbow Baby and to talk with passion and pride on The Baby Show stage about Esther and William.

I really do like public speaking.

I love the anticipation and preparing things to say, I love the nerves before hand, I love the opportunity to speak about the things I am truly passionate about and I love the messages I get from people after I have spoken, often saying thank you which really means the world.

The Expecting Twins Panel Discussion seemed to be over before it had begun. With four panel members each with important things that they really wanted to say, forty minutes passed in the blink of an eye.

A lot of information was covered in that short time particularly about pregnancy and birth. I personally feel we got a bit stuck on birth and the possibility of having premature twins and experiencing NICU.

Perhaps that was because I was on the panel?

But I had so much more I wanted to say, had planned to say but there just was not enough time.

I did not get to share my tips for managing twins on a daily basis, did not get to recommend my best multiple baby buys.

I could have happily stayed on that stage all day talking about the highs and lows of raising twins.

I am incredibly proud of our journey, and immensely proud of the little people my 27 weekers have turned into now.

I wish I had had more time to describe the blessings of being a mummy of twins.

But the beauty of blogging is that I can always say the things unspoken right here.

And so I think I am going to do just that.

And share with you my notes I made to go into the discussion.

The things I hoped I would have chance to say to the new multiple mummies and daddies watching and the parents to be.

Here are my notes made for this awesome opportunity.

Thank you The Baby Show for inviting me to be part of the panel.

Twin Pregnancy
So much I could have said about my experiences but their were antenatal experts on the stage. The one thing I really wanted to get across was this …

Never ever be afraid to call your midwife or consultant or your local labour ward if you are worried at all. They will welcome your call. It is always best to make the call if you are in any doubt at all. Make the call!

Natural Birth
Although I had a premature birth I had a natural delivery. It is absolutely possible to plan for a natural delivery of your twins.

What if my babies are born prem?
You will be terrified but you will be their mummy, their daddy.

Esther and William were born at 27+3. They were delivered naturally, flashed in front of our eyes and then whisked away to NICU. They were in incubators for about a month.

For 6 hours they needed a ventilator before being put onto CPAP to help them breathe for their first few weeks of life before being strong enough to breathe on their own with oxygen support.

NICU is scary BUT you will be supported by the hospital. You can also access support from TAMBA and from BLISS. There are also lots of people who have recorded their journeys through NICU and SCBU online. You will find many blogs like mine that tell the story through the eyes of the parent. Read the diaries of these families who have travelled the road before you.

Do not be afraid to ask for explanations of things you do not understand. Never forget that you are the parent!

Take every opportunity to be involved with your babies’ care.

Take up offers of help and support from family and friends.

Remember that you need looking after too!

Will I be allowed to breastfeed my twins if they are premature?
YES! Yes, yes!

You will be encouraged to do so if that is what you want to do.

It is really important to breastfeed premature babies if you can.

If your babies are very premature you will not be able to physically feed them at first but they can absolutely have your milk.

Start expressing as soon as you can after birth. I remember vividly hand expressing colostrum and my husband catching the tiny drops of precious early milk in a syringe.

Esther and William started off having just 1ml of milk every 2 hours through their feeding tubes, but it was my milk and they got all that goodness.

I could not do much for my children at the start, but I could do this. It really helped me to bond with my babies.

When your milk comes in you will be asked to express every three hours, round the clock, and freeze the milk so it is there for your babies as they need it.

At about 32 weeks I started putting Esther and William to the breast as they had their tube feeds. It was wonderful, magical. Slowly they started to suckle and to feed. To begin with they spat or dribbled out the milk as they did not know how to swallow.

By 34 weeks they were feeding and at 35 weeks they were feeding on demand and we were allowed to take our babies home.

It can take longer to come home from NICU if you want to get breastfeeding established but those extra few days are so worth it to get it right for you and your babies.

Once home you will need support and determination to continue breastfeeding at home. You can read all about our journey here.

I am very proud of the fact that I exclusively breastfed Esther and William for 15 months but I would never ever say that it was easy.

What equipment would you recommend for baby twins?
Here is my list of things that made our first year with Esther and William that little bit easier
A bedside cosleeper
A double buggy that fitted our needs and lifestyle
An electric double breast pump
A baby wrap, sling, carrier
Bouncy chairs
Baby to toddler rockers
Feeding cushion
Carry cots

Can I get any additional help?
Yes you can.
While you are pregnant find and join your local twins club, this will provide you with a lovely community of multiple mummies at different stages of their twins journey. Do not wait until your babies are here, go along with your double bump and make friends. Soak up all their knowledge and top tips.

Think of all the jobs that can be done by others and allocate people tasks when they visit.
Do not be afraid to ask help of family and friends, they can earn their cuddles!

Home Start have a volunteer scheme where someone can come and see you for a few hours a week to help with tasks in the house, help with the babies, make you a cup of tea, help you get out and about.

You can also find students from local childcare courses who need work experience with a family. Contact local colleges while you are pregnant.

If you feel low, are unsure where to turn, please contact your GP or Health Visitor who will be able to advise you.

TAMBA offer online and telephone support and can also help with providing practical help.

Parenting twins is a beautiful blessing but it is hard work and can be a lonely job. Sometimes all the help you need
is some company.

What are your top tips for the logistics of managing twins?
Here are just a few of my top tips

You have to be organised but do not obsess about routine

You have to forward plan

You need to communicate with your partner and others who regularly help you

Have a safe place to store your babies at least on each floor of your home and if possible in all the rooms that you use a lot

Do not be afraid to have and use a play pen. Esther and William loved theirs.

Read Juggling Twins by Meghan Regan-Loomis

Practice not only calming babies but calming yourself
1 – breathe deeply when a baby (or two) cries
2 – assess their needs and then
3 – provide them patiently
Such simple advice but so easily forgotten in a sleep deprived state

Give yourself permission to put all else on hold

Give everyone who visits a job – make lunch, clean kitchen, sort washing. Each visitor should do more work than their visit creates

Accept all help

Sleep when you can, sleep is more important than ‘me time’, catching up with emails etc You need to sleep when you can

Get out of the house at least once a day, whatever the weather, get out of the house and breathe

How do I breastfeed two babies?

In the early days, until you find your feet, you have help!

Help and bouncy chairs!

Successfully breastfeeding twins is about planning and positioning

Where you plan to sit to feed, before you sit place a drink, your phone, TV remote and anything else you want or need

Have a cosleeper cot next to your bed to make the practicalities of night feeding much easier

Twins will not necessarily feed at the same time or in the same way

William always fed more than Esther

You need to eat a lot and drink a lot, it is exhausting demand feeding baby twins

Esther and William always had a breast of their own so I knew roughly how well they were feeding

Esther slept through the night before William then he would take milk from her side to relieve my discomfort

I found it easier to feed on the bed in the early days, by the end I could feed on the sofa, the floor and even walking around the house

Sometimes I fed the twins together and sometimes separately depending on the babies needs

I had to be flexible

Esther and William were happier and fed more efficiently when they fed separately

It is hard

Talk to people either in real life or online

Access support from local breastfeeding groups and experts

You can read more about how I fed my twins for 15 months here

Will I bond with both babies the same?
You will adore them both, you will find their individual characters very quickly, even while still in SCBU

You will have more than enough love for two babies at the same time

But you will bond with them differently because although they are twins they are also individual people

You will love different things about each of them for the rest of their lives

My twins are now three and a half years old. They are the best of friends and share many things but they are also delightfully different and I love that about them. I love everything about them.

They are my little miracles and they raise me up every single day.

So, these were my notes for the Expecting Twins Panel Discussion at The Baby Show last weekend.

I wish there had been time to tell some of the funny tales of my two.

I am going to make an effort to write up these notes into separate blog posts and I am going to endeavour to write more on my blog about my beautiful twins.

Thank you to The Baby Show for inviting me on stage to talk about them at all.

Thank you x