It has been 13 months now since Matilda Mae, Baby Tilda, died.
She was 9 months old and died suddenly and unexpectedly in her sleep.
Next week will be one year since we held her goodbye.
Here in this church.
In the last year I have learned many many things
About myself, other people
About loss and grief
I have learned that there is no going back
And it is hard moving forward
After a baby has died
Nothing can ever go back as it was before
Nothing will ever be normal again
We must find a new normal
A new way to live our lives
A way unimaginable without our baby in our arms
One of the things that has touched me most
In a year without Matilda Mae
A year in which we also lost another baby
Through miscarriage
Is that baby loss is not talked about enough
I write a blog
I write very openly about life without Matilda Mae
I wrote very openly about my miscarriage
And what I have found is that I am a voice
For so many people who have been through
What David and I have been through
And have not found the words to say
It is just not something people talk about
But it should be
A person is a person no matter how small
A mother loves a baby from the moment they know they have been conceived
Every single baby matters
And deserves to be talked about
Deserves to be remembered
And to have their name shouted out loud
In the past year the thing I have learned
That has affected me the most
Is that I am not the first mother to have walked this path
And sadly, so so sadly, I will not be the last
And so we raise money and we raise awareness
We come together and we remember
We live our lives to make our babies proud
Because what else is there to do?
Today we come together
And we remember
We remember Baby Tilda
We remember Matilda
We remember Harrison
And Tommy
And Hattie and Flic
We remember all those babies lost too soon to be named
Too soon to be known
We come together to remember all our babies in the sky
All angels in the sky
We come together and we remember them.
An angel in the book of life wrote down my baby’s birth,
Then whispered as she closed the book,
“Too beautiful for Earth”
-Unknown
Matilda Mae Remembers is a service open to all.
We will come together to remember and honour all babies in the sky.
It’s perfect Jennie
Xxx
That’s so beautifully written straight from the heart.
I think it is beautiful and to the point. I am sure it will be a lovy ceremony, I continue to wish that I could be with you at these times x
That’s beautiful Jennie xxx
This is so very beautiful. Xx
Beautiful Jennie xxx
I can not read this without tears streaming down my face & I don’t know you. I can only imagine the pain & heartache you have/ continue to endue and thank you for sharing your story. By sharing your story you are that voice to so many, I hope it brings them & you a little comfort. You also impact the lives of those who have not lost by making them appreciate what they have. You continue to inspire me Jennie.
It’s perfect Jennie. I had a miscarriage at Christmas and what you said is so right – a mother loves her baby from the moment she has learned she conceived. You have made Matilda Mae so proud xx
That is beautiful. You’ve been doing an amazing job raising awareness of babies that leave us too soon. It’s helped me process my miscarriage and feel fine about still being sad even though I’ve since been blessed x
Thank you for bravely sharing your voice Jennie, I was starting to feel silly or a bit of a fraud for being upset about our early miscarriage but you’ve helped me to see that every loss is painful and deserves to be recognised x
I hope the service goes well for you all tomorrow, a lovely way to remember and come together for all the little angels xx
Pingback: Matilda Mae Remembers: Order of Service | Edspire