Being nominated for Best Pregnancy Blog in the MAD Blog Awards has inspired me to start sharing more of this rainbow journey, beginning with when we first knew.
At the end of November you may remember that we went on holiday to Center Parcs with the lovely Ghostwritermummy and her family.
After a magical first day and evening together I fell foul of what I thought could only be food poisoning.
It honestly did not cross my mind that I could be pregnant.
A week later, when my period did not arrive I began to suspect I might be.
I did not want to do a test as I was too scared of being disappointed … again.
I thought back to what I had eaten the day I got sick.
A snippet of smoked salmon and microwaved prawns!
What was I thinking?
I decided that as the evidence was stacking up I really should do a test.
A traditional old style line on a stick proved what I already knew to be true.
I was pregnant.
My heart leapt into my mouth.
My pulse raced.
A giddy mixture of pure terror and intense excitement.
I was pregnant!
I then remembered my last period.
The only one I had had since the missed miscarriage and horrendous ERPC.
It started on the eve of the welly walk.
This pregnancy would be dated from a very special Matilda Mae day.
If all went well I would be 3 months on Tilda’s anniversary and 9 months on the day she had been 18 month passed.
Surely this had to be a sign?
But I dared not hope or dream or believe or plan or even think at this early stage.
I tucked the knowledge of the pregnancy away into a secret compartment.
It let out the knowledge I needed to keep the pregnancy safe
But none of the emotion
And no connection with the baby growing inside.
David and I just wanted to quietly get on, get through, week by very slow week.
We were pregnant!!
I can still remember your message when you took the test. So excited about this journey x x
What an amazing, terrifying moment! I remember when we found out I was pregnant with my first, after a long time of fruitless trying and having kind of given up, our first reaction was not joy but suspicion. It was when the first season of Glee was on, and so my husband’s first words were: “Could it be a hysterical pregnancy?”
With what you have been through, it must be ten times as hard to allow yourself to feel excited. I will pray that you can increasingly give yourself over to the joy of growing your rainbow!
Wow how wonderful, truly a sign from your angel! Was she (fingers crossed!!) naturally conceived too? If so definitely a sign! Good luck with it all!
She was naturally conceived x A miracle baby x
Congratulations on your rainbow pregnancy. I’m 18 weeks into my rainbow pregnancy. It’s the most terrifying pregnancy I’ve ever encountered. Know that Matilda Mae is proud of her mummy and her new baby brother or sister x
It has been without any doubt the most heartwarming news I’ve had this year xxx
Such wonderful news, huge congratulations to you all x
A very exciting journey ahead, filled with lots of trepidation but also thousands of fingers crossed for you out there xx
Beautiful omens/signs xx
I love funny coincidences like that but this isn’t just a funny old coincidence – this has to be a sign that it was meant to be. I am keeping you and your rainbow in my thoughts and prayers.
How exciting, it’s always a mix of emotions in the first few months and right until the end, but most be ever more so with you both and all you have been through xx