Back in November I was invited to The Mother and Baby Awards Ceremony in London to receive an award for being Britain’s Bravest Mum.
I was nominated by my beautiful friend, Heather, and I thought long and hard before deciding to accept the award.
I accepted it, in floods of tears, to a standing ovation and floods of tears, not just for Tilda but for all babies in the sky and as a mark of appreciation to how tough life is for all bereaved parents.
I know that I am not that brave.
I am terrified of everything.
But what I am trying to do
What I am hoping to be
Is a voice that speaks out for bereaved parents
A face that is recognised as a grieving mummy
With a baby that symbolises all that is lost when a baby dies
I have somehow fallen into this role
And I enjoy it
I want to make more of it
I want to work for causes that deal with infant death and pregnancy loss
I want to campaign for what bereaved parents and families need
I want to give people who do not want to speak out themselves a voice
Because Matilda Mae was already known to so many
As a bump and as a baby
I feel that we are perfectly positioned
To share our story
To support others
And in some way give families that follow us some hope
I don’t know if all or any of that is possible
But I have no idea what else I am supposed to do
I think that this is what I am meant to be
I think that this is what I am meant to do
The awards ceremony was amazing
Many of the pregnancy and baby brands I had worked with in the past were there
Many of the products that Tilda and I had modelled and promoted on this blog
Matilda Mae was, is, a true blog baby
I felt like I was among friends
And I had my husband by my side
I am so grateful that he was there
Many people came up to talk to me that night
To tell me their own stories of loss
Of babies, parents, siblings, friends
I felt like I was wearing my heart on my sleeves
With my very special Tilda ‘Starlight’ dress from Fever London
It was a very emotional night
And taking to the stage was so hard
The music playing was Take That, Rule The World
A very special Baby Tilda song
It was a once in a lifetime experience
A moment for Matilda
One that I will never ever forget
The awards evening was very much enjoyed by all who attended
David had a great time and made a new friend
Alun Cochrane, who did an amazing job of hosting the awards
David and Alun enjoyed chatting and drinking til the small hours
I left them to it and went up to our room to bed
I was immensely proud to be part of that night
But I was not in the mood for a party
Partying in Matilda’s name
Does not yet feel quite right to me
I hope that one day it will
For now I am intent on sharing our story
And in doing so raising money and awareness
For The Lullaby Trust and Bliss
My story will be printed in the May issue of Mother and Baby Magazine
Published just in time for Baby Tilda’s birthday
A story of our journey to be a family
A story of losing an important part of what we had fought so hard to have
A story of infertility, IVF, preterm birth, raising twins, a miracle baby born at the right time but taken far too soon
A story of me
My family
My wonderful friends
All the ups and the many many downs
Of life before, with and after Tilda
Look what love has done!
For more information on our fundraising events for 2014 please read here.
Thank you x
That is such a special photo of you and Tilda Jennie. Look at how she is looking up to you with love and joy. So so proud of you for everything you have done and can just imagine accepting your award was much like the one for Outstanding Blogger at the MADs last year. You truly are an inspiration xx
It’s so lovely to read more about your night, Jennie. You are the perfect person to be the voice for bereaved parents – you’re amazing. I know you don’t think you’re brave but you are. You are, I think, the bravest person I know. You have spread so much awareness with Tilda’s story and your beautiful daughter has touched so many people’s hearts. You have raised so much money and worked tirelessly to build her legacy. Many people would struggle to get out of bed each morning but look what you have done. I know it’s been so hard for you (and continues to be), I know you wear a fake smile – I can see the pain in your eyes – I know that it hurts constantly and I know you have changed so much but you ARE brave. This is what makes you brave. You are beautifully brave inside and out. Although you don’t feel it, you are. And THAT (and more) is why I nominated you xx
I am so so proud of you and all you’ve achieved! I think you are the perfect spokesperson for bereaved parents. Well done lovely lady
xxxx
Such a huge and well deserved achievement x you are an inspiration and pillar of strength to so many xxx
You should be incredibly proud of what you have achieved Jennie. Through unthinkable circumstances you have created a legacy for your little girl and been the most incredibly inspiring mother I have come across. x
You are very brave indeed and an amazing inspiration to so many. Beautiful dress by the way. Mel
Jennie, you are an exceptional writer, compassionate and compelling. I felt I had to leave you a message to say I read all your blogs and Facebook messages. You are raising awareness of SIDS and the amazing work of the related charities which is incredibly important and necessary. More over you are a very brave woman, you have shared your worst moment with us all. You have shone a light on your beautiful daughter that will never go out, Matilda will always be remembered, even by those of us who never met her. You write so beautifully and memorably that I feel like I’m with you. I can’t write as eloquently as you but I hope you feel my sentiment and
Support. With best wishes Sarah
You should be so proud of yourself Jennie, I honestly cannot imagine what you have been through since that traumatic day, some people would have crumbled but you are doing your hardest to be strong and raise awareness in Matilda’s name. You thoroughly deserved this award lady, well done xx
Lovely photos and well done again. I think you are doing such a fantastic job at raising awareness and helping others in a similar situation x