To all our friends and families
To all who read this blog
A post to wish you the best of the season
Enjoy your mince pies, mulled wine, yule log
This year we will not be sending
Many gifts or any cards
The thought of writing only four names inside
Is something I just find too hard
This year we will be donating
The cost of our cards for a cause
And the charity we have chosen
Is The Lullaby Trust, of course
We have set up Matilda a Starlight Fund
Where you can if you’d like donate
Anything you can afford, big or small
A difference to a baby might make
Christmas will not be merry this year
Not without Matilda Mae
She will be missing from all we do
A great hole in our Christmas Day
Last Christmas was so wonderful
Her first and also her last
I hate that our beautiful daughter
Can only now be part of our past
I miss Matilda every day
The pain is overwhelming in every way
I hate the thought of Christmas
Without her by our side
If it was not for Esther and William
I would just curl up and hide
But hiding is not an option
So our house is filled with stars and lights
I limp on as best I can through the days
And collapse in tears each night
Tears for a girl who should be here
Tears for a daughter who should be near
Tears for a Christmas that cannot be
Tears for other mothers hurting like me
Tears for families with one empty stocking
Tears for families with one empty chair
Tears for families filled with longing
For their lost child to be there
Tears for families torn apart
By loss as we have been
Tears for families whose Christmas
Causes them hurt and pain
Christmas with a child missing
Cannot be what it used to be
There is no joy or merriment
There is real pain in the festivities
So please do not mistake my smile
As a sign that I am fine
I am saving you from gaining a glimpse
Of an intense pain that is only mine
Days, weeks, months and years lie ahead
Without my baby daughter, she’s dead
I do not know how I am supposed to be
Part of a Christmas that is merry
This year I need peace
I need quiet and light
Time to reflect
On all that is not right
Time to wonder
How she would be
If she were here for her stocking
Trying to pull down the tree
We love and miss you Matilda Mae
We talk about you everyday
Our memories and love are here to stay
Be at peace this Christmas little angel
Be at peace Matilda Mae
Please make a wish upon a star this Christmas and donate in memory of Matilda Mae.
I will not be sending cards this year either. And I will be thinking of you Jennie, and wishing you peace. xxxxxxxxxxxx
We haven’t met but I want you to know that I’ll be thinking of your beautiful daughter, Matilda Mae, on Christmas Day . Wishing you all the peace and time for reflection that you wish for. X
I am so sorry that I have no words that can make it better, but wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you – an Matilda Mae shines brightly in the hearts of many xx
I know that when you smile you are breaking apart inside. I’ve seen the pain behind your eyes so many times this year. I have stars everywhere this year and will every year. For you and your beautiful daughter. I will be donating too as not sending cards to everyone this year. I hope Christmas is as easy for you as it possibly can be. Sending love, always xx
Sending love Jennie, thinking of you xx
This is such a beautiful poem Jennie, heartbreaking but beautiful. Wishing you get all the peace you need this Christmas xxx
Beautiful words for such a beautiful girl x
Oh my goodness. You have such a way with words Jennie. I can’t actually see through the tears as I write! I will be donating in memory of Matilda and will be thinking of you all over Christmas. xx
My thoughts are with you all xxx
Jennie, we’ve never spoken but I read your blog (often through tears) and your story has touched me. I too have chosen to give to charity instead of Christmas cards this year. I have two charities that I support but I’ve also given a small donation to The Lullaby Trust in memory of Matilda Mae. A baby I never knew but I’ll never forget. My thoughts are with you and your family this Christmas. Xx