Miscarriage: Missed, Medical, Medical, ERPC
What an awful awful month I have had.
I knew from the off September would be bad
But it was worse than even I could have imagined
We were pregnant
Baby died
Body refused to miscarry
I waited and I waited
For my body to realise
And to do the right thing
Nothing
Not a symptom or sign
That my body knew that the pregnancy was over
And so we chose to have medical management
I read and talked and discussed
I was ready and prepared for all that was to come
Except it never came
Four pessaries
No pain, no bleeding, no end to the misery I was feeling inside
24 hours later
Four more pessaries
No pain, no bleeding, no end to the misery inside
The realisation dawned that my body was clinging on with all its might
To what was left of this pregnancy
Right thing, wrong time
Body of mine
Next time cling on for all you are worth
But this time we have to let go
ERPC
Simple, day procedure
Except not of course for me
First they could not get a cannula in
Something about getting stuck in a valve
I really was in a lot of pain
As they struggled to find a working vein
At last a change of plan
A change of hand
And before I could count back from 30
I was gone
I was waking
In recovery
Shaky and cold
Severely dehydrated
Having been left for over 13 hours
Nil by mouth
My blood pressure was too low
I did not feel very well at all
Drips were attached
Fluids flowed
Faster and faster
To bring me round
But still my blood pressure would not rise
I would not be going home today
I would be staying over night
On a noisy ward of sickly women
When all I wanted to do was go home
My blood pressure was checked
Every two hours
All the way through the night
Only at six o’clock in the morning
Was it at a level acceptable for going home
98 over 42
98 over 46
99 over 49
99 over 52
99 over 60
I am dressed
I am ready
I am waiting to go home
Armed with an artillery of antibiotics
To fight any infection away.
It is over
It is finally over
I can rest and recuperate
Reflect and recover
Before we start over again.
Missed, medical, medical, ERPC
Home
Oh Jennie what a dreadful ordeal. I’m glad you are home now, get some rest and try to recover from all that you have been through. Praying for you every day xxxx
Jennie, wishing you gentle days ahead and sending cyber (((hugs))) xx
Sending you healing, hugs, love and light x x x x x x x x
Bless you Jennie, pleased you are home, time to be gentle on yourself let your body repair and about time someone above gave you a break hun.
Sending love & hugs to you at this time x
I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with this, but I’m glad you’re finally back in your own home where, hopefully, the healing can begin.
Hugs, as always xxx
I really hope that now September is behind you, the worst of this new ordeal is over. Look after yourself and take time to let your body heal xx
So sorry to hear that Jennie, I,ve been through it before too but have since had two healthy pregnancies. Sending you lots of love, good health and lots of hope! xxx
What an absolute nightmare!!!
May the coming months bring you light after all the darkness September has brought.
I’m glad you’re now home and I didn’t stop thinking about you all night. I wish I was religious as I’d have been saying many a prayer for you last night. At least you’re in a new month now, September has gone and you can try and focus on moving on. Just know that we are always here for you, even when you think we are not. Sending you so much love xx
Glad it’s over now. X massive hug sweetie. Xxxxxx
Oh my god! Jennie you poor thing! How bloody awful! I hope you recover from your op quickly and I hope you and David are ok. I had an ERPC at 12 weeks after discovering at my scan baby had stopped at 7-8 weeks. They offered for me to leave it to come away naturally but I said no as it had stayed put for 5 weeks. I found the whole ordeal completely devastating, so for you to have everything else on top I feel so bad for you. Sending you lots of love xxxxx
So so sorry to read this, sending you much love for a happier October xx
So sorry it was such a horrible ordeal and that you had to stay over night-that is the last thing anyone would want to have. I hope you can’t to rest and recuperate over the days few days or weeks xx
Glad you are home now Jennie. What an awful time for you xx
I’m glad you’re home
Xxxx
I’m sorry you’ve gone through yet more heartache. An ERPC pulled my heart apart so I can understand some the pain you are in right now. Please take care of yourself. I got a womb infection after mine and it wasn’t nice. I wish you a speedy recovery and may you be blessed with a sticky pregnancy soon x
Oh my goodness, what a time you’ve had. Thinking of you, so glad you’re home. Take it easy xxx
Sounds like quite an ordeal. Look after yourself over the next few days.
When I discovered my medical management wasn’t successful all I could think of was that my body didn’t want to let go of this pregnancy any more than I did. I had a pretty quick physical recovery, and an initially a quick emotional one as I figured I’d be pregnant again soon. I’m now 58 days past my ERCP, still not pregnant again and starting to feel the emotional toll of putting too much pressure on myself to conceive again.
Oh Jennie what a year. I am so glad you are home xxx
Oh hunny. Why is nothing ever simple for you? You’ve been through enough already.
Sending huge hugs and strength xx
My 3rd miscarriage was a missed one and my body also refused to give up that baby, 4 weeks later I too went through an erpc 🙁
Thinking of you as always
Bless You Jennie. Sending love and strength. xx
I’m so very sorry for you 🙁
Oh sweetie. That really is an ordeal. Hope you are able to take the time you need to recover. xxx
huge hugs to you and David, put your feet up and rest for a while.
Sending you lots of love, am so sorry you had to go through this. Thinking of you. Xxx
Hey brave incredible lady. Just sending hugs. Here always if you need to talk.
I have days when I just sit here and wish for you. You deserve nothing short of a miracle. You deserve so much more than this. I’m so, so sorry for your loss. I’ll keep these fingers and toes crossed for you, for Matilda, for this little angel you lost, and for the baby that I know you will have. I know you will. xxx
Oh Jennie…I am so sorry for your loss, you don’t deserve to be going through all of this. Thinking of you at this hard time. *hugs* xx
Yes rest, recover and look to the future. Brave doesn’t even come close. Love and tender hugs xxx
Oh my goodness, life has been so cruel to you. This is hard to even read, I can’t imagine what it must be like for you 🙁 Please try and rest when you can x x
The brighter days will come Jennie.
So sorry you are having such a truly awful time.
jennie i am so sorry thinking of you at this time xx
i am so sorry to hear of your losses. almost 17 years ago at 35 weeks pregnant my baby hadn’t moved for a while, a scan confirmed the worse, that he had sadly passed away. i was admitted to hospital to be induced on the sunday morning but it wasnt till the following thursday that my body finally let him go. a couple of years later we tried again, had a beautiful baby girl, then at 10 days old she also passed away. i often wonder why there are those of us that have to go through so much heart ache. big hugs lovely xo
so so sorry to read what an horrific ordeal your ERPC was.
I think I am very lucky that on both occasions mine were quick and painless and I was in for the op the day after discovering the MMC both times
I only wish that every woman could have such an uncomplicated experience.
Sending love, best wishes, and hope for your rainbow baby 🙂
Charlie
xxx
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