She arrived yesterday
Aunty Flo
Why do we call it that?
Does anyone know?
She brought with her
A rollercoaster of emotions
A tangle of feelings
To be carefully combed through
Picked out
It is time to seal the bubble
If this is going to work
I need to surround myself with people who care
People who can help
I need to focus my energy
On getting my mind and body ready
To grow new life
It is easier said than done
To forget the people who have hurt me
But I have to really try
There is nothing more important in the world right now
Than helping my little family survive and grow
So I’m on my way to London
Day 2 of many days
Somewhere between 20 and 60
Til we get our embryos back
Assuming they survive the thaw
This could all be for nothing
If they do not do that
Yes
On top of everything else
We must be ready for that
Another devastating loss
If at some point in this process
Our precious embryos do not survive.
I never realised what a long, arduous and painful journey this was. I never realised all that you had to go through and how precarious it all was. Your writing, as always, is so beautiful and I hope that someone who is going through the same will read this and feel supported.
xxxxx
I have 5 embryos frozen and I know that if I’m ever lucky enough to try for another baby, there is a chance the they won’t survive the thaw. Its such a difficult and emotional time, even without the complicated science of it.