Esther and William are three.
Their birthday is on the 24th July.
13 weeks before the day they were supposed to be born.
20th October.
This time next year Esther and William will have just turned four.
But by their due date, their corrected age, they will still really be three!
How can it be right for any child to start school when they are only just four? But technically should still be three?
When Esther and William were first born
Before we knew anything about anything
David and I were convinced that we would fight to delay our babies starting school
It was not their fault that I got sick and they were born too soon.
They should not really be starting school until 2015.
So why should I send them in 2014?
The dilemma that I have is that Esther and William are really quite bright
At just three, technically two, they have an amazing vocabulary
Know numbers and can count
Know some letters
And are beginning to have good pen control and try to draw and write.
They are confident and sociable with adults and with children.
But they are still only just three.
I feel like I am being robbed of a year.
That they are being robbed of a year.
They have cousins and friends starting school this year who are five in just a few weeks
If they start school in 2015 they will be comparable with these peers
If they start in 2014 they are going to, technically, be 15 months younger than some of the children in their year.
I just don’t see how that can be right.
It seems that I am not the only one struggling with the idea
Of sending my summer born preemie to school too soon.
The Department for Education has published a document this summer answering parents questions about summer born premature children and school admissions.
From reading this document I have learned that there are a number of options open to us.
Esther and William could start school with other children born on 24th July 2010 in September 2014.
Esther and William could start school with other children born on their due date of 20th October 2010 in September 2015.
Esther and William could go to school in 2015 but go straight into Year One.
Esther and William could attend school from 2014 – 2015 on a part time basis until we feel they are ready for full days and weeks at school.
There are no absolutes. A decision can be made between us and the school and the Local Education Authority.
The problem is that we are trying to make a decision now (or in a few months time) about what Esther and William will be like a year from now. And we have no clue what they will be like a year from now.
I know that they would be okay at school in September 2014 and they would be able to keep up with their classmates with a lot of support from home.
But why should they?
Four (technically three) is a ridiculous age to be starting school.
In Europe many children do not start school until they are six, why should I be in a hurry to send my children to school at the earliest possible opportunity?
And though socially and intellectually they may be ready in September 2014, they are still going to be incredibly small. William can still comfortable wear size 9 – 12 month clothes, I am not even sure there will be uniform to fit him next year!
And emotionally they are still incredibly young.
We have a lot to think about in the coming months before a decision has to be made.
We talk often about how Esther and William might feel about being out of year but I think either way can be justified as out of year.
I am going to be writing a lot about this over the coming weeks and months as we look at schools and our beautiful children and try to decide what to do for them for the best.
What would you do?
You need to do what you feel is right for your children. My daughter will be 4 in october and start school in 2014 when she will be nearly 5 my youngest turned 1 in June so will start school when she has only just turned 4. it’s hard to know what is best.
Just on side note, I live in Northern Ireland and the cut off here is the end of June so June babies are youngest in the year group and the July babies are the oldest, so if you lived in Northern Ireland the earliest Esther and William could start school would be Setember 2015.
As a mum of a late August girl who was due weeks later and is rapidly approaching the grand old age of 8 here’s my experience.
We were not allowed to hold her back, just wasn’t an option at all and so I had to get my head around her being the baby of the year and extremely physically young on top of that.
We were also lucky to have a bright spark on our hands so our concerns weren’t academic so much as social and maturity related.
We were allowed to start her at Easter and therefore she only had one term in reception, but a nice long time in preschool.
She’s just completed year 3 and academically there’s no issue at all. BUT missing those two terms f social adjustments/relationship at the start of school in reception is still an issue – she just doesn’t have the nowse of the girls a year older than her.
The only other issue is pe – she doesn’t stand a chance but I’m not sure being held back a year would be any better 🙂
Would I change my mind if I had choices? No, I know my daughter and see likes to be challenged. Holding her back a year wouldn’t do her aby favours.
So to answer the question – I’d opt for part time starting and follow their lead. Good luck, and try not to ever blame yourself for anything ; )
Given the choice I would delay until 2015. I found my August baby was at a real disadvantage both physically and emotionally for most of his primary school years, I am convinced he would have benefited from an extra year at nursery to mature x
Louisa starts reception in September and her birthday is July. She is bright but still needy and I am nervous about her being without me all day. 4 is such a young age to be starting school. Her nursery report said she is quite shy with her peers but she is bound to be, most of them are a year older than her. And she is tiny too, still in age 2 clothes. I am going to be a wreck watching her go in on her first day.
In many European countries they don’t start till 7 (and have lower rates of dyslexia, apparently). School is very tiring, more than most parents anticipate. That can be an emotional and stressful adaption for most children. Go with your gut. If your nor sure about delaying can apply and then defer? Or change your mind later?
Not many people know this;
Compulsory school age
Starting school
In England and Wales, most local authorities have a policy of accepting children into school at the beginning of the term during which the child becomes five. However, the child does not have to attend school until the beginning of the term following their fifth birthday.
In England, from the school year beginning September 2011, local authorities must accept children into primary school in the September following the child’s fourth birthday. However, parents may request that their child does not start school until later in the year or until reaching compulsory school age. A parent will also be able to request that a child attends school part-time until compulsory school age.
You don’t have to send them to school at all, you can home educate. I recommend sending them to a group setting, because they do need their socialisation and be ready for school, you can still claim your 15hrs a week entitlement.
Local authorities don’t always like it. Contact citizen’s advice for help if you need it.
I’ve spent most of the night thinking how to word this, so I know this isn’t going to be perfect but hopefully it’ll make sense, so here goes
My eldest daughter started mainstream nursery in Oct ’04 she was 3yrs 4mths old, smaller than most of her classmates and not as strong physically, so when it came to PE it wasn’t her strong point but in other aspects she done brilliantly. Foward to today, she 12yrs 2mths and is due to start Year 8 (2nd yr in seniors) she is as tall or in some cases taller than her classmates and is excelling academically as for strength I learnt long ago that strength comes in many forms other than physically and my daughter is one strong and determined individual. She has come a long way from her early arrival into this world at 33wks (gestationally she was 27wks due to IUGR) weighing a dinky 2lb11oz. Right from the start she has made us proud and will continue to make us proud no matter what.
Having said all that though, you as a parent will do what you know is right for Esther and William as all parents do with their own. Whatever you choose it will be right for them and you which is really all that matters isn’t it xx
My Son has just turned 3 so will be just 4 (by a matter of weeks) when he starts school in September.
I am a bit worried about him but he likes pre-school and i will probably increase his hours over the course of this year to get him used to spending more time apart from me. I think we also have the option of him going part time or delaying his start till January but i don’t want this to affect him socially so i doubt we would do this.
As you say your twins are bright so they will probably be fine but i would just do whatever feels right for your family 🙂 x
I think delaying them til 2015 and letting them enter at Year 1 is a good idea. That way they won’t be “older” than the children in their class yet will have had the year to grow and develop a bit more. Year 1 is a different curriculum to reception but they still do a lot of play-based learning (depending on the school of course) so they won’t be jumping straight in to crazy academic stuff. They will get the learning experiences they would have in Reception at home with you. Hope you feel able to make the right decision soon x
Well done for thinking emotionally. I have looked after many ‘just 4’ children who have started school at ‘just 4’ and emotionally they struggled. A lot. They were all bright children and active, so had no problem in keeping up with their peers in all matters. However emotional development was a whole different matter. They struggled to cope even with home support. It usually took them until the Easter term to really settle in. They loved school, always had. It was the getting along with others, the lack of maturity, the inability to cope with larger groups – being one of a number that they struggled with the most. I personally think ‘just 4’ is far too young regardless of the child. Let them have their childhood.
I was in the same position with Edward. He was born on August 29th but due by section on 3rd November. So, he started school in January this year in FS2 (Reception). That was down to his illness causing time off (52% attendance between September and July of the year before of Nursery). However, all his little group of friend’s from nursery went up in September and he effectively had to start all over again with friendship groups.
At the time, I wanted him to start with everyone else in September, as academically there was nothing stopping him.
I wish I had stuck to my guns.
In the end, he started in January, and although the group he joined had only left him in September, they had paired off, leaving Edward the odd child out. He was the only new one in January, and worse still, the school left him off the Card and party lists they give parent’s to send invites out via and he wasn’t invited to any parties until June. So it knocked his confidence. It’s also affected his confidence academically, and I’m now very unsure of how he will get on in year One in September, as not only is he is the youngest in the year group he is also behind, only “emerging” at the Key Stage he should be at. I feel now that he will be left behind and will find it hard to catch up.
I always now say if you feel the time is right, it is, the school needs to advise of course, but the final decision is yours. Only we know our children and their capabilities.
This is something that had never occurred to me. It sounds like a tricky decision, and you’re right; 4 is a ridiculous age to start school either way. I can’t say what decision I would make; I would think that being in school part time would just be confusing for all concerned though, and single them out as different from all the other children, which can’t be good.
This is a tough one, it;s bizzare that you could have a child born on the 31st Aug & one on the 1st Sept (so technically the same age) & yet the child born on the 31st Aug who will turn 4yrs first will be able to go to school that Sept & the child born a day later would have to wait until the following Sept?? You could look at it & think that the one who goes to school first would be at a disadvantage being the youngest, whilst the other child gets another year in nursery & will be the oldest in their year when they start school the following year & have a better advantage? Or, the child who has to stay in nursery another year who may indeed be ready to start school, but has to wait.
My son turns 3 yrs this Oct, so he misses out starting nursery next month, but can start in Jan 14 (spring term intake) so he will be 3 yrs 3mths. And then nursery also offer a summer intake which starts after Easter. I don’t know if this is the same with all nurseries, but it may make sense to offer a staggered intake when it comes to children starting reception. Rather than Esther & William starting reception Sept 14, they could start Jan 15 & then they would be nearly 4 1/2 yrs? Otherwise as you said, they could start Sept 15.
You know your children better than anyone, and while children can be academically bright & may be ahead of their peers in that respect, they may still be emotionally/physically immature & may still need the extra time at home or nursery.
I agree with other posts that in this country we seem to farm kids out to school at a very early age compared to other European countries who start later.
I think if you have the opportunity with your chosen school & Local Authority to defer another year based on their technical birthday rather than their actual age then I think it’s a good thing to wait. It’s obvious that they get lots of great learning experiences at home, so I don’t think they will miss out academically when they do start school and they will be emotionally older too
I think if you have the opportunity and you feel that they are ready then they could start reception in Jan 15, otherwise personally I would start them in reception in Sept 15.
As an early years teacher I would advise you to find a school that offers a play based, informal approach to learning, possibly one that offers a foundation stage unit approach to early years, where nursery and reception aged children are taught in the same class. This is a model that I know works well and allows staff to focus on children’s developmental needs and not their ‘age’. Many teachers are aware of the extra difficulties that face summer born children, in particular ones who were also prem and no good teacher would compare a child turning 5 in September with a child who had just turned 4 in summer and was really just 3, age corrected. After all, you wouldn’t ask the parent of a 3 month old why he couldn’t walk like peers aged 12 months! The right school/ teacher will be out there to meet your needs, my only advice would be not to skip the reception year and enter at year 1. However play-based year one can be it is much more formal than reception which really is a foundation for all that comes after!
My July born daughter started part time in the September when she was just 4. A few weeks in, she started crying when I went to pick her up after the lunchtime break. I asked what the problem was, thinking in my adult know-it-all way that she was overtired. No, she told me, it wasn’t fair that she had to come home when other children were staying for “more fun”. I tried asking the teacher what they would be doing each afternoon so that I could replicate it at home with my daughter…. But the tears continued … She loved learning at school with her new friends.
I’m not sayi g this should be your solution… Just that sometimes our children have different plans to us …. Take their lead and remember you can always change your mind if what first seems right no longer does.
Good luck with it! an exciting step for you all.
Aren’t they already attending preschool? If it’s any help Jake & Ellie have been at a sort of preschool taster since April when they were 3 years & 1 month.
I was worried about it but I was surprised sat how easily they adjusted. Jake sometimes complains about going but they really enjoy it when they’re there. Ellie especially has made good friends & we’ve noticed a big difference in things like numbers, letters, wanting to read & tidying-up.
It was just between 1 & 3.30; they start for real this term 9 – 1. The school want them to do a full day to 3.30 but we think that’s too long so we’ll be sticking with the early finish.
Hope you can find something that’s right for your family x
I would, and did, home educate 🙂
It seems like a minefield doesn’t it? At this young age, I think you are right to be most concerned with their emotional and social well-being.
Have you considered starting them in Reception Class in 2015?
There are likeminded parents involved in a campaign ‘flexible school admissions for summer borns’. I’ve recently had the ok for my 2010 summer-born to start reception in 2015.
There is a blog, a Facebook Group and a googlegroup.
http://groups.google.com/group/schoolstart and http://www.facebook.com/groups/121613774658942/
http://summerbornchildren.org/2013/03/17/campaign-for-flexible-school-admissions-for-summer-borns/
Best
Michelle
Choices, choices…? From personal experience of my summer born son, I think the boys in particular are just too young and emotionally not ready. Not to suggest that you would start one & not the other. The first year of schooling (reception) is sold as play based learning. It isn’t. The key is on learning sounds and phonics, getting them to read, basic maths and it is heavily assessed. The children become aware of who is on which book level, who the bright sparks are and who is finding it harder – even at this age. If you can start them off in reception a year later and give them that precious year at home – surely that would put them in a far better position to be open to learning?
Once they start at school, they lose that innocent free spirit of toddlerhood. By Christmas of term one, my middle child was told off for not keeping in a straight line, looking forward. She was also told off for kissing us after her nativity. To have one more year before they are made to conform & made to follow endless rules – how I wish I had deferred that first year…
Also, the argument that children on the continent do not start school until aged 7. Yes, this is true, but their style of learning when they do start is much more formal – what would be considered a traditional education, sitting at desks, no carpet time etc… Only my opinion I know – but keep your babies home and enjoy them for one more year 🙂 PS – love your blog!
We are in the same boat, Flynn was born 5weeks early, it might not seem like much but he is about 3/4 months away developmentally from others his age. Flynn as born on the 14th August but was due 19th September we have just had to apply for his nursery place in September 2014, he will JUST be 3! We don’t know what to do for the best 🙁 x
Gemma, I am in exactly the same position as you. Sam was born on 25th July 2010 when his due date was 19th September. He just seems quite immature compared to friends who will be starting full time school in September 2014. I can’t help having that niggling worry that he’s always going to be behind or feel like he can’t do lots of things as well as others in his year. He is also very small for his age and although he’s just turned 3, he’s still wearing 18-24 months trousers! But keeping him back a year, if it is possible, might bring up an issue for him later on when he’s old enough to realise that he shouldn’t actually be in that year according to his birthday.
Really interesting reading the mixture of comments on here, especially as we had this discussion in the week between a group of mummies with August born 2 year olds.
At the moment I have no idea how my little boy will react to school as he is not due to start pre-school until January, something I’m hoping will go well.
I am a July baby so according to the recent government reports should not have done so well at school but at the end of the 3rd year at grammar school I came first in the year in the Maths test. Although I believe this was largely due to the extra help and confidence my father gave me at home when I attended primary school.
One advantage of being one of the youngest was that I had completed all my A Level exams by the time I was 18 so I didn’t feel the social pressures of being 18 whilst still studying at school.
In Europe primary education often doesn’t start until 6 but they still usually attend the equivalent of pre-school which are sometimes a lot stricter than here. I looked after a boy in France who was 2 years 10 months when he started and was expected to stay from 8.30 until 3.30 everyday.
When my little boy was a baby the doctor told me that I am his mother and that no-one can ever know him the way I do and therefore my concerns/worries should always be taken seriously and over a stranger’s, I think this advice should also apply to all parents who are concerned about their children starting school to early. I’m sure that E & W will be fine though, they will make good friends easily with their new classmates.
Hi Jenny, my twins are due to start reception next week (as you know, we discussed over on Twitter lol!!) and I’m still stressed about it. Especially now that I know this new legislation has been passed which gives us the legal choice to hold back a year. My twins are all set to start but I don’t think they’re really ready, although they’ve been through the nursery and they have made a couple of friends who I know they like and who equally like them. My twins will be in the same class at least so they have each other which I fought tooth and nail for and this will be good for them but they are smaller, very shy and would much rather be at home. Keeping them back though would possibly mean them being overly ready next September and older than everyone else….. would this make them feel a bit stupid later on?!! It’s such a difficult one and I feel like I have ran out of time…. my boys are starting. I don’t think I’m going to send them all 5 days I will probably keep them off one or even two days a week as they will be exhausted. Im going to give it a few weeks and if it doesn’t go well I will take them out and re-apply next year. I will be writing a post about this very soon….. I will keep you informed of their progress….. I will be an emotional wreck next Wednesday!!
There are pro’s and con’s to both scenarios. Your twins at least are outgoing and bright which I think stands them in very good stead and (as I am hoping with mine) will catch up. Don’t forget there will be kids who are older but are ‘slower’ so wouldn’t be noticeable!
I look forward to following your progress!!
Sorry for long post xxx
Carolynne, ” I don’t think I’m going to send them all 5 days I will probably keep them off one or even two days a week as they will be exhausted. Im going to give it a few weeks and if it doesn’t go well I will take them out and re-apply next year. ” That would be termed a failed transition, which can be enormously hamful. There was a debate in the House of Commons yesterday, there is a little mention of this type of scenario and I know of a couple of cases, they are heart-breaking. Think carefully. It’s such a difficult decision, look at the google group, facebook group – lot’s of support and advice and the blog:
http://summerbornchildren.org/2013/03/17/campaign-for-flexible-school-admissions-for-summer-borns/
Script -scroll down to Column 134WH:
http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm201314/cmhansrd/cm130904/halltext/130904h0002.htm#13090438000002
You can also watch it here: Scroll time to :01:29:45
http://www.parliamentlive.tv/Main/Player.aspx?meetingId=13729
Michelle, what would you do if you were me? I’m so stressed about making the right choice.
(Sorry Jenny we’ve gone off on one here!!) xx
Carolynne, It’s awful isn’t it. Not knowing what to do. But if your thinking at all about seeing how they go and then if it doesn’t go well, taking them out; I think you need some thoughts from people who have done this and experienced a failed transition. Join the FB group, post a comment regarding your thoughts and ask members that have been through a ‘failed transition’ for their views. It’s a lovely group and there are some very helpful and supportive people on there. I think you would probably come away with a better idea of what to do. But at the end of the day, your mum, and mum’s know best! If your not sure what to do, it would seem to indicate that somewhere deep down you think that they might not be ready for full-time school?