Today Was A Wobbly Day

A bereaved mother finding a new sense of normal

Is rather like a toddler learning to ride a bike

They are keen, they want to do it

But they are just too scared to lift their feet from the ground.

It’s easier to do if you are not alone going through it

A companion, a confidant, a friend

Anything is easier when you are not on your own.

Riding a bike is a wonderful thing

It opens up a new world of potential

It is an important skill to learn.

Made up of many vital skills

That can help in all areas of life.

The steering can be tricky.

You go round in lots of circles.

Travelling far in space and time

Yet never really getting anywhere.

This can become frustrating

For you and those around you

It can all too soon become too easy to just give up.

But somehow, if you want to be a good cyclist

You have to carry on and find a way.

You dress your self up in protective clothing

But you still hurt your pride, your ego when you fall

A helmet protects the hair on your head

It does not protect the contents of your heart.

Plastic padding protects your elbows and knees

It cannot stop the panic and fear creeping in.

Some days you can fall with grace and style

Other days you collapse in a heap on the ground

And wait for someone who loves you to pull you up.

One snigger, one sneer can be all it will take

To make you never want to try biking again.

Finding your balance can be tricky

You have to be confident enough to go faster

To find a smoother ride

But confidence comes with experience

Experience comes with confidence.

A bike can take you to new places, new people

You see things in a way you have not seen them before

But once you get off the bike

Everything goes back to normal again

It can be hard to find your feet and adjust.

You need to be brave to face the down hills

You need to be strong to make it up.

The skill you need to master to cycle

Is to go straight where you want to go without wobbling

Today was a wobbly day

Wobbling and worrying affect your confidence

Affects your speed and direction

Affects your control.

Learning to ride a bike teaches you cause and affect

It makes you aware that actions have consequences

Good and bad

You cannot skip a step of learning to ride a bike

You have to learn it all

Balancing, pedaling, steering.

And even when you know it all

Accidents can still happen

Things can still go wrong

You just need to have the courage

To get up and do it over again

Until the wrongs become less

And your bicycle journey is a smoother, faster one

That allows you to get where you are wanting to go.

A bereaved mother finding a new sense of normal

Is rather like a toddler learning to ride a bike.

They wibble and they wobble

But with faith and hope, encouragement and perseverance

They get there in the end.

They get somewhere in the end.

8 thoughts on “Today Was A Wobbly Day

  1. So beautifully written, as always. Even though I’m not that active in the blog/social media world I hope you remember I’m always here. I keep meaning to ask if my little note and gift I sent on the twins birthday ever reached you. I hope it did – you know I’m always here x

  2. As the others have said, I am always here too. I do worry that what I do or say is never enough or never right but I hope that just being by your side is sometimes enough to show you that I will be here for you.
    xxxxx

  3. With lots of practice and perseverance comes confidence. When you fall be sure to reach out to those who are there to help you up, just as a toddler reaches out to their mummy or daddy.

    Interestingly, my strategy has always been when my little ones fell to treat it casually, tell them to brush it off and get back on doing what they were doing quickly and try again. Clapping at their success, instead of dwelling on the fall. No mollycuddling, only stepping in when they really hurt. Does that work for a wobbly mummy too?

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