A bereaved mother finding a new sense of normal
Is rather like a toddler learning to ride a bike
They are keen, they want to do it
But they are just too scared to lift their feet from the ground.
It’s easier to do if you are not alone going through it
A companion, a confidant, a friend
Anything is easier when you are not on your own.
Riding a bike is a wonderful thing
It opens up a new world of potential
It is an important skill to learn.
Made up of many vital skills
That can help in all areas of life.
The steering can be tricky.
You go round in lots of circles.
Travelling far in space and time
Yet never really getting anywhere.
This can become frustrating
For you and those around you
It can all too soon become too easy to just give up.
But somehow, if you want to be a good cyclist
You have to carry on and find a way.
You dress your self up in protective clothing
But you still hurt your pride, your ego when you fall
A helmet protects the hair on your head
It does not protect the contents of your heart.
Plastic padding protects your elbows and knees
It cannot stop the panic and fear creeping in.
Some days you can fall with grace and style
Other days you collapse in a heap on the ground
And wait for someone who loves you to pull you up.
One snigger, one sneer can be all it will take
To make you never want to try biking again.
Finding your balance can be tricky
You have to be confident enough to go faster
To find a smoother ride
But confidence comes with experience
Experience comes with confidence.
A bike can take you to new places, new people
You see things in a way you have not seen them before
But once you get off the bike
Everything goes back to normal again
It can be hard to find your feet and adjust.
You need to be brave to face the down hills
You need to be strong to make it up.
The skill you need to master to cycle
Is to go straight where you want to go without wobbling
Today was a wobbly day
Wobbling and worrying affect your confidence
Affects your speed and direction
Affects your control.
Learning to ride a bike teaches you cause and affect
It makes you aware that actions have consequences
Good and bad
You cannot skip a step of learning to ride a bike
You have to learn it all
Balancing, pedaling, steering.
And even when you know it all
Accidents can still happen
Things can still go wrong
You just need to have the courage
To get up and do it over again
Until the wrongs become less
And your bicycle journey is a smoother, faster one
That allows you to get where you are wanting to go.
A bereaved mother finding a new sense of normal
Is rather like a toddler learning to ride a bike.
They wibble and they wobble
But with faith and hope, encouragement and perseverance
They get there in the end.
They get somewhere in the end.
I will always be here to support you
So beautifully written, as always. Even though I’m not that active in the blog/social media world I hope you remember I’m always here. I keep meaning to ask if my little note and gift I sent on the twins birthday ever reached you. I hope it did – you know I’m always here x
You’ll find your way x
As the others have said, I am always here too. I do worry that what I do or say is never enough or never right but I hope that just being by your side is sometimes enough to show you that I will be here for you.
xxxxx
writing this sort of thing is your wobbling hun, we are all her to give a virtual pull up with love when you need us. Love the pictures, looks a beautiful place to be, with all that space to learn to go their bikes.
With lots of practice and perseverance comes confidence. When you fall be sure to reach out to those who are there to help you up, just as a toddler reaches out to their mummy or daddy.
Interestingly, my strategy has always been when my little ones fell to treat it casually, tell them to brush it off and get back on doing what they were doing quickly and try again. Clapping at their success, instead of dwelling on the fall. No mollycuddling, only stepping in when they really hurt. Does that work for a wobbly mummy too?
Thinking of you every day. Keep going, so many people are right with you. Sending love. Xxx
Those toddlers look so very cute on their bikes. Always here to help you with your wobbles xxx