On Friday I travelled with my dear friend Lucy to Brackley Hatch.
In the back of the car was Baby Samuel, just days younger than Tilda, he was a constant reminder of what could and should be. What I am missing with Tilda gone. I love being with Lucy and Samuel but as much as I love them both being with them is incredibly painful as Samuel is so like Tilda would be if she were here. Time spent with Samuel is wonderful and awful in almost equal measure. In spite and because of him being so very very cute.
It was nice to have Lucy with me as we travelled North to collect Hayley and meet the rest of the Matilda Mae Sky Diving Team.
Lucy has been a huge support to me in the last six months and is fast becoming a very close friend. It was good to have her and Samuel by my side this weekend.
Meeting the team was wonderful. Crazy Hayley is one of the friendliest people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting and she is so easy to talk to. I shared a room with Hayley and it was lovely to have someone so easy to chat to. And chat we did.
It was very emotional to meet all the team and especially being reunited with Susanne (Ghostwriter Mummy). I enjoyed lots and lots of cuddles this weekend to see me through until we meet again. It was also a pleasure to meet her husband who is very funny. They make a lovely team.
This weekend was all about team spirit and being united for a common cause.
This weekend was all about coming together to do something amazing for a very special little girl.
My very special little girl.
This weekend was all about 9 parents coming together and jumping out of a plane.
9 parents coming together and falling through the sky for The Lullaby Trust.
To shout out loud that SIDS must be stopped in it’s tracks.
Somehow.
No parent should outlive their baby.
No baby should die so suddenly, with no clue as to why.
This weekend was all about fighting a fear that all parents face.
That a baby will fall asleep and never wake up.
This weekend was all about parents and babies and family.
This weekend was all about love.
This weekend I was honoured and proud to support 9 brave parents as they faced their own fears to jump out of a plane to raise awareness of SIDS in older babies and to raise money for The Lullaby Trust.
The Lullaby Trust support broken families like mine and ensure that they do not drown in the depth of their desperation and despair.
As we arrived at the airfield. The immensity of what was about to happen hit. I felt a huge responsibility for the 9 lives about to be risked in memory of my daughter.
Here were 9 people so brave and making a real difference for a small but incredibly important charity.
Because of me.
I was so proud as the team began their paperwork and then their training.
It was wonderful to stand by them as they got ready to fall from the sky.
The day had a lovely atmosphere of togetherness.
I feel like I have made friends for life.
I cannot wait to see everyone again.
I watched with awe and pride as three by three they took to the skies.
I was okay until it was Susanne’s turn to fly.
Someone mentioned blowing kisses to Tilda.
Someone talked about being closer to Tilda in the sky.
And suddenly my heart was breaking as I desperately wanted to be up in the sky too.
There was a tiny part of me
An insanely hopeful part
That thought one of these ladies might bring Tilda down with them
I know it is not a possibility
What goes up does not always come down
But I hoped with all my heart that Susanne would
And that she would do so in one piece
And she did so much more than that
She did not bring Baby Tilda down with her
Of course she could not do that
But what she did do
Was bring hope
A sign
That Baby Tilda is watching
That she knew where we were and what we were doing
My baby painted a rainbow
And my beautiful friend fell through it
Surely that has to be a sign?!
It is enough to make me cry every single time I think of it
With a glimmer of hope that Tilda is somehow with us
And that one day, maybe, a rainbow baby might come.
That was the most emotional part of the day for me
Watching Susanne take to the skies
And the surge of relief as she landed safely on the ground
And the rush of love and pride and hope as she told me about the beauty of the rainbow.
Other highlights for me were the ecstatic excitement of Michelle
What a lovely lovely lady she is
And the hilariously loud landing from Hayley
Who clearly loved her jump and her fall
And who held me so close
And hugged me so tight as she told me she was thinking of Tilda all the way down.
But it was Michelle that made me determined to a sky dive of my own one day
Just the fact that she shouted hello to Tilda as she jumped out of the plane
I want to feel close to Baby Tilda
I want her to hear me shout out her name.
I want to fall through her rainbow.
I miss my little girl so much and I want to feel closer to her if I can.
Team Matilda Mae have been inspirational this weekend
They have been inspirational for the last 6 months
Team Matilda Mae is made up of so many people
From all across the country
From all around the world
Team Matilda Mae is made up of everyone who has supported the Matilda Mae Sky Dive in anyway
The Sky Dive total stands at £6094.40
But we have done so much more than that
We have baked and walked and toddled and waddled
We have fallen from the sky
We, You, have sponsored and supported each other to do all manner of things
And we have so much more to come!
So far we have raised an amazing amount of money
For Bliss and The Lullaby Trust
In less than 6 months
We, you have raised £19888.58
We need £112 before the 2nd August 2013
To have raised £20,000 in 6 months without Matilda Mae.
What an amazing legacy for our little girl.
What an amazing achievement in memory of our beautiful Baby Tilda.
And guess what?
Watch this space for more from Team Matilda Mae.
Because …
You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet!
You should be so so so so so incredibly proud of the legacy that you are creating for baby Tilda. I said in one of my earliest comments that I knew you would do so much more- you and all of those 9 ladies that dived out of the plane for the lullaby trust and baby Matilda are amazing. I have no doubt you will do so much more, and I, like hundreds of other bloggers will support you every way we can.
Rest assured that I still think of you and Matilda Mae every day, and I will continue to do so.
The story of Suzanne falling through a rainbow made me cry happy and sad tears. How wonderful to have made such an amazing friend. Thinking of you always Jennie. Xx
U guys have all done so wonderfully so far and yet no doubt it’s far from over good luck in what ever future events u have planned
You all did so amazingly 😉 im proud of you all and half of you I’ve never met. Talking to Rachel today has made me want to join you next year if you’ll have me xx
Hiya, I’m sorry I wasn’t very supportive, I was so frightened but even though I couldn’t shout “Hello Tilda” as I fell I promise I was thinking of an angel. X
Tilda`s beautiful face is etched in my memory, such a pretty little face. I still can’t begin to imagine how you get through each day. My little boy was born just weeks before Tilda grew her wings and I hope and pray each night that he and my other babies will be there in the morning with their ready smiles . . . And then I think of you and your family every single night, of all the families who have angels in heaven xxx
Well done Team Matilda Mae!! The raising funds and awareness you are doing is making a difference to lots of families.
I heard this song last week and immediately thought of Tilda, it seems very appropriate now so I hope you don’t mind me posting it:
Time for me to go now,
I won’t say goodbye
Look for me in rainbows,
way up in the sky.
In the morning sunrise
when all the world is new,
Just look for me and love me,
as you know I loved you.
Time for me to leave you,
I won’t say goodbye
Look for me in rainbows,
high up in the sky.
In the evening sunset,
when all the world is through,
Just look for me and love me,
and I’ll be close to you.
It won’t be forever,
the day will come and then
My loving arms will hold you,
when we meet again.
Time for us to part now,
we won’t say goodbye
Look for me in rainbows,
shining in the sky.
Every waking moment,
and all your whole life through
Just look for me and love me,
as you know I loved you.
Just wish me
to be near you,
and I’ll be there with you
Wow. Just wow!
Very well done to Team Matilda and to you and to everyone who donated and supported.
What an amazing achievement. What an amazing amount of money for a truly important and fantastic charity.
Brilliant. Just brilliant.
Reading this was the first thing I did today and I am already in tears. In fact ive been an emotional wreck since the weekend. I cannot tell you how amazing the whole skydive experience has been and I am trying so hard to put it into words but I just cant do it yet. I am, however, convinced that Tilda put that rainbow there for me. It was utterly wonderful to see my reflection in the centre and to fall through it back to earth. I promise you that if Matilda is up there, she is surrounded by such breathtaking beauty. And by peace. And looking down on such love!
xxxxx
I know you will skydive one day and I know you will shout to Tilda just as I did. There is no rush or hurry though Jennie and please don’t be sad that you have not done it yet. Tilda knows how much you miss and love her, and the day you go up to the skies will be beautiful, peaceful and amazing just like Tilda is.
Tilda may be up in the peaceful skies, but she is always with you too x x x
It was an honour to be part of the team skydive, but an even bigger honour to jump in the memory of your beautiful baby girl Matilda Mae. Thank you Jennie, I cannot wait to see you again x x x x
You should all be so proud at what you have achieved! It is amazing, we all wish that Tilda could have fallen down in the arms of them all.
The rainbow is definitely sign, how beautiful and what a reassuring sign for you.
I felt so emotional just tweeting and re tweeting tweets from you all, such great bravery from you all xxx
Amazing…. just amazing…. well done to all of you. And the rainbow – how beautiful! X.
I felt so moved reading the tweets and seeing the photos of Team Matilda Mae on Saturday, I had tears in my eyes. The legacy you are creating in your daughters name is an amazing thing Jennie. And I just know that she is so, so proud of you. x
Oh wow, wow, wow. Crying. Tears of sadness and joy. Just beautiful. Well done to you all x
Goosebumps. I can see all of the hairs on my arms stand on end as I read this. You should be so proud of yourself Jennie. You gave your daughter life and you are working hard to give other people a chance at life too. A chance to start again. A chance to stop this from happening. I’m so proud of you and every woman who flew through Tilda’s sky. Well done. xxx
I am so very glad you gave us such a detailed account of the day. Makes me feel as if I was there.
What brave wonderful ladies.
And the rainbow! Just awesome!
There are no coincidences!
Liska xx
Amazing!!
Well done to you all x
What a brilliant and amazing thing to do for such an important cause. As someone who’s life has been affected by SIDS (my brother was not quite three months old), I can’t tell you how closely I have been watching and admiring the legacy you are making for your little girl.
All of these brave women should be celebrated for their parts in making such strides you and your beautiful baby.
Bless you, bless them and bless Matilda Mae.
Wow! You are doing such amazing things- Tilda really brought a lot of love into this world didn’t she? Lovely girl.
Amazing! well done to all x x x
You are all amazing and inspirational, such a brave, selfless thing for the team to do. I am in awe. Truly amazing! Thinking of you Jennie, as always xx
Amazing, amazing, amazing! Well done to the team! Such bravery! So proud of you all! xx