One day I saw a man with the friendliest eyes I had ever seen

He looked older than me

Smart, intelligent, funny but with a really mischievious look in his eye.

He seemed to be still very much a boy

But also all man.

It was definitely an attractive combination.

I could not get him out of my head.

One day I saw him again

And I truly came over all funny

I had to leave the room that we were both in

I could not work out what was wrong with me

But I knew it was to do with this man.

This magical mystery man.

It was a week or so before we went for a drink

Another week or so until first we kissed

But from that very first meeting

I am certain I knew

That this was a man who was different

Within a month we were together together

We were living together within two

Within three we knew it was forever

We dreamed of adventure

A life by the sea

Camping, canoeing, telling tales round the fire

We read poems and plays

Wrote stories together

Dreamed of a world

All new to explore

We talked of marriage

And children too

This was the man who would father my children.

The one my babies would know as their Daddy.

We had it all planned out.

How wonderful our life would be.

When you dream of a future together

You do not dream of a life like ours

We met in 2007.

Got engaged in 2008.

Started IVF in 2009.

Four unsuccessful cycles, destructive for body and soul.

One final fifth cycle and at last we were pregnant

With twins!!

We had no reason to believe

That anything might go wrong

So when I was rushed into hospital at 25 weeks

Not knowing if I would live or die

We were both in utter shock and despair

What was happening to me?

Were we about to lose our babies?

Our precious, longed for babies.

Many men would have fallen apart

Not known how to react

What to do

David never for a moment lost his calm

He barely ever left my side

I was pumped with pain relief of every kind

Nothing would soothe or relieve

I was clearly becoming more and more ill

Shouting save the babies not me

David must have been terrified

What choice is that for a man?

My partner or my children?

Would you know on the spot who to choose?

On the third day of pain and suffering

I was cut open and the problem was found

A twisted bowel was untwisted again

The babies were undisturbed and alive

It took me 10 long days to recover

David stayed with me all the while

Through morphine and blood transfusions

My body was so swollen with oedema that I could barely walk

I could not do anything for myself

David did things for me in those 10 days

That no man should do for any woman

He did them

Without comment or question

He did them with love

He became a hero in my eyes

At the end of 10 days he took me home

And continued to care for me there.

Protecting me and his unborn children

Who miraculously managed to survive.

It was July, they were due in October.

We did not make it to the end of the month.

On 24th July 2010

Our beautiful twins were born.

13 weeks too soon.

We became parents for the very first time

To our super strong, teeny tiny 27 weekers.

For 59 days they stayed in NICU and SCBU

And every day we were by their sides

It was not how we had imagined our first days, weeks and months as parents.

When David was not with me at the hospital he was at home

Holding together his business and preparing our house for its newest inhabitants

He was a rock for me

Again

Supporting me and his new born children.

Thrown straight into the deep end of fatherhood.

Responsible but helpless all at once.

Until our babies were home

Team H was born.

And what a team we were.

What a team we are.

David is a hands on Daddy.

There is no other thing he can be.

A Daddy to premature twins

And not too long after finding his fathering feet

Daddy to three babies under two

And in the cruellest twist of fate yet

A Daddy to an angel.

When you see your pillar of strength start to crumble

You know that too much sadness and pain and hardship

Has been thrown in your path.

Today is a day for Daddies

To spend time with the children they love

But for daddies of babies up in the sky

Today is a day of heartache and wondering

Of questioning

What if?

Today is a day

When you enjoy the children with you

And miss the one that is not with all your heart.

I am so proud of my man

My husband

My children’s daddy

Today on his day

And all days.

In six years we have been through so much

Found so much

Loved so much

And lost so so so much.

My man is my world

And even on our toughest and darkest days

Especially on our toughest and darkest days

I love him with all my heart

And I know

That I am the luckiest girl in all the world to have him.

He is a beautiful man

A wonderful husband

And an inspirational father.

He is their Daddy.