It is apparently the season to be jolly and believe me I am trying but all my plans just seem to fall flat or cause our whole family to fall out.
I have just put Esther and William to bed for their second attempt at a day time sleep. I have turned the monitor off and I am leaving them to it. As I type this they are getting out of their sleeping bags, throwing all their bedding out of the cot and just generally getting up to no good.
Their first attempt at a nap today did not go at all well and ended up with Daddy, me and even my wonderful best friend going into their room to tell them off. It started with a gentle scolding, lots of bribery of all the good things that would happen to them if they slept and ended with them being put in separate rooms before we finally gave up and got them out of bed. By this time I was so cross with them and with myself for being cross with them. It was all getting out of hand. My husband was cross with me and I with him. And all for what. Esther and William just don’t understand.
I finally got them up as Esther was screaming and William was attempting to smash a mirror against his cot. There was no way either of them intended to sleep. They wanted to play so I got them up to play. During all the to-ing and fro-ing leading up to this extraction from their cots they had been told that if they did not sleep they would not be able to play with Michele, my best friend and their Godmother.
So, as they had not slept I felt that I had to follow through with what I had said which left me no choice but to ask Michele to go home.
Daddy was busy working upstairs leaving me alone with the unraveled mess. We have family coming tonight expecting to take Esther and William to see Father Christmas. Esther and William will not be going to see Father Christmas.
As I write this they are screaming at the top of their voices messing around still with no intention of sleep.
When and how did my adorable children become so naughty?
Perhaps I am trying too hard to make Christmas special for them? Perhaps I should never have intended to take them out tonight to see Santa parade through our village?
Perhaps we should not have taken them to the pantomime that we had to leave shortly after the interval as Esther and William were screaming that they just wanted to go home.
Until very recently Esther and William were reliably sleeping for a couple of hours during the day meaning they could do something nice in the early evening. When they do not sleep during the day they are horrible from 3.30pm on and end up in bed and asleep by the latest time of 6pm. Often it can be before 5!
So what would you do? Today is over. They are not napping and so they will be too tired to go out and see Santa but what about on other days?
Do I just accept that they are not going to sleep in the day and that doing anything after 3pm each day is a waste of everybody’s time?
I am at an utter loss for what to do.
I am exhausted. I am tired of getting repeatedly angry with them and gaining nothing.
They do not understand why we get cross.
I feel like I am fumbling being a mummy at the moment and just causing everyone a lot of unnecessary stress.
I need to come up with a solution, find a way forward but I am holding my hands up and saying I do not have a clue where to start.
I know that people have trodden this path before me and I am hoping that someone will be able to shed some light or even show me the way?
What should I do? What could I do? What would you do?
Leading Each Other Astray!
Cheeky kids! We have days like this, too. I do think you can just tell when they’re not going to nap, and sometimes surrendering and making it a quiet 90 mins in front of something gentle on tv (we use Baby TV on Sky – mesmorising!) or looking at books while lying on the sofa can refresh them almost as well as a nap (and certainly more than upstairs chaotic pandemonium does!) I now say that we have ‘quiet time’ every afternoon and I start by putting them to bed, but my little boy is getting older now and will sometimes get up and come downstairs to lounge on the sofa instead.
As for evening events – often not worth it at all! I just play it by ear quite often and go to things on the spur of the moment if they seem ok or don’t go to things if I can tell it’ll be a nightmare. My latest blog post is a bit about this actually!
It’s hard work being a Mama sometimes – sounds like you did the best you could with a tough situation. Christmas will be magical on the day I’m sure – I think these little people struggle with all the build up a bit. Hugs.
My 2 year old has phases of refusing to nap at all. Naptime is usually the only bit of the day I have any peace/can get anything done and likewise she is a horror if she won’t sleep. I have walked for hours round the park with her before before snapping and hissing “JUST SLEEP” before crying and realising that I am making it worse and not helping anyone. I have often found so far, just at the point I am breaking she resumes napping again, although I know this will one day cease (please not too soon!). Play things by ear and be kind to yourself. I am finding the terrible twos so far very fraught, and that unless people are going through it in your capacity, they do not understand and can have unrealistic expectations of toddler behaviour. Hoping nap time returns soon! I have also found that a large proportion of “exciting” festive things I have tried have so far fallen flat on their arse, so to speak. Roll on next year!! x
Some children drop their naps in the afternoon around the age of 2.. All of mine did and just had the occasional relapse. I used to p,ay it by ear and often if they were tired they would take themselves off. They initially used to be a bit cracky at around 4.30 but it didn’t last long. I can’t remember how old your guys are but I wouldn’t stress it too much. They’re just growing up. Even with a nap mine slept 5-5 which shifted to 6 to 6. They still at 6 years old go to bed at 6. I’ve always put the kids and their sleep first so we often miss out on evening things. We wanted to take them to see The Nutcracker Ballet but it didn’t start till 7.30pm. No way they’d manage that. Do what’s best for them and you. Xxx
Oh goodness, and I thought it was only my little one behaving like this. It’s tough ain’t it! I have lernt to just go with the flow. My terrible two year old son strips him self down plus his cot if he isn’t in a mood for a nap. I have even found my self sitting on the floor next to him trying to get him to sleep. Now, if he sleeps he sleeps. If not he is in bed early and we don’t go out after 3pm as he is a right grumpy pants! I’d rather not have the stress and embracement of him kicking of in public.
I hope you find the answer your looking for. Just remember your doing a fantastic job and doing what works for you and your family. Mummy always knows best. Xx
I used to put my two year old and the baby in the back of the car and drive them out in the afternoon. Eventually they both fell asleep, and as soon as they did I’d park up and nap myself u til one of them woke up. It was the only thing that worked for me. My daughter gave up daytime naps for good at about 2 1/2 but the flip side of it was she was always a very good sleeper at night, which some of my friends never had.
Oh those days are the WORST! I have no advice to offer really, as my two year old sometimes naps and sometimes doesn’t. Time was, she’d reliably sleep in the day every day from 1pm to 3pm. When she’s at the childminder’s she does sleep from 12pm – 1 / 2pm depending on when I’m collecting her, but at home it’s not always the same. Sorry I can’t be more help, but I just wanted you to know you’re not alone. Sometimes I find getting out of the house when F is tired and grumpy is the best option, as it lets her run off her angry steam and get even more exhausted. Sometimes she even finds a second wind. Perhaps today they just weren’t tired? Kids are so unpredictable – toddler especially – and they can change dramatically from day to day. Hope you have a better day tomorrow. xx