When we brought Esther and William home from their 59 days in special care we were terrified.

These teeny tiny babies were now entirely our responsibility.

What on earth were we to do?

Neither of them weighed over 5lbs. They could be held with just one hand.

How were we to know that they were okay without the machines that monitored their heart rate and their oxygen levels?

The quiet took a lot of getting used to. The quiet of our surroundings and in contrast the noisiness of our tiny son and daughter. Prem babies make so much noise when they breathe!

For days we did not leave the sanctuary of our bedroom. Here it was warm and safe. Here we had everything we might possibly need. And what we didn’t have Daddy went out to get. Daddy was good to us in those early home days.

After surviving our first night alone as a family of four, outside of the hospital walls. We thought things would begin to get easier. In fact it was then that real parenting began.

I knew I was a real mummy, prem or otherwise, when I started worrying about colour and consistency and frequency of poo! Seemingly that is something that all mummies do.

Our Health Visitor was quick to reassure me that my poo concerns were normal and that the twins seemed to be feeding really well.

We were doing well. At home! We were doing well on our own.

And on our own we were.

There were no visitors to our house in those early days. And we did not go out to see others. We did try to get of the house for a walk once a day but we did our best to not see any people.

Not because we were being precious about our premature babies but because we had been warned of the dangers of the dreaded RSV. And the cold and flu season had only just begun.

RSV affects a large proportion of all babies. Around two-thirds get RSV before they are one year old. If your baby was born prematurely, is prone to getting lung infections or was born with a congenital heart problem, they could be at greater risk of being made more seriously ill were they to become infected with RSV. A baby who was dependent on additional oxygen for several months, like Esther and William were, is at particular risk.

We had a long cold winter to get through and we were determined to do so without any readmissions to hospital.

I am sure that some friends and family members did not understand and felt that we were being totally over protective. But I know in those first weeks and months out of hospital we found out who our true friends were.

The people who made an effort to stay in touch with us though we were not always able to make contact with them. The people that knew to visit they had to scrub their hands and change their clothes and probably even then not be allowed to hold our little babies.

We could not be too careful with the precious lives we had been given.

We were their protectors now.

And we did everything in our power to keep them safe.

One of the first things we had to do was send an email to our family and friends to explain our decision to go into hibernation that first winter rather than sharing our bundles of joy with the world.

This is the email that I wrote. I would love to know how you would have felt if someone sent it to you???

That first winter was wonderful in so many ways as our babies continued to grow and go from strength to strength.

It was also incredibly lonely. I did not really see anyone and the motherhood I had dreamed of for so long was not mine. There were no baby classes, no NCT groups, no new baby friends, no play dates. I feel that I really missed out though I know it was the best thing to do for our children I am not entirely certain that it was the best thing to do for me.

Thankfully my wonderful husband worked from home and so I was not entirely alone in the days.

And do you know what? The winter was long. We only saw friends and family when they were entirely well and if we were in any doubt at all we would meet them somewhere outside.

But we did it. We made it to the spring with no colds, no flu, no sickness and most importantly no RSV.

We did it!

And as the buds turned to leaves and the blossom began so too did Esther and William’s social lives, and mine too. We opened our doors to the world. And it was wonderful!

Knowing that they and we were strong enough to get out and face our future as a family of four.

We had beaten our first winter and were ready to enjoy the spring!