I cannot believe that tomorrow I will be 38 weeks pregnant.

These pictures show Esther and William at the same gestation. They were already 11 weeks old and it was the week of Daddy’s 30th birthday. Seems like such a long time ago.

It is hard to believe that Matilda Bump is already bigger than Esther and William were at this time, but if our scans are to be believed then she is already considerably bigger than Esther and William were even at 4 months!

I have been thinking a lot about bringing our new baby home over the last couple of days and what I want it to be like, need it to be like, as we find our feet as a brand new family of five! Eeek!

I am so excited about being able to bring our daughter straight home after the weeks of NICU with Esther and William. At first I thought I would want to throw open our doors to visitors in celebration of her immediate homecoming. But I realise now that is not what I want at all.

David has two precious weeks off when Baby arrives. He never ever takes time off in blocks like that so I am determined to make the most of it. It is his time to bond with his daughter and my time to use him to find my feet as a mother of three. I want to test out getting to and from the places I will want and need to venture to alone when he is back to work. I want to try and find a routine that works for all of us ensuring we both get time with the baby and with Esther and William. That pattern is going to take some finding and I don’t want to be doing that with an audience. I am going to find it emotional enough trying to spread the love equally between all three babies. I want to find that balance alone.

I am also keen for Esther and William to keep their routine as far as is possible, including going to their classes. This may mean David taking them or us all going together for those first weeks. Again this is something we need to work through when she is here.

I also know that I am going to need time emotionally and physically to recover from the birth and from any feelings I may have thinking back to Esther and William’s birth.

It is going to be a time of celebration but also of high emotion and enormous change.

I think that it is important to give ourselves space and time before we share our new addition.

I am also very unsure as to how I will feel passing our new baby round people. I think that I will struggle with that when she is very new. I did not get to cuddle Esther and William properly for weeks and so I am going to be making the most of those newborn cuddles myself rather than sharing them around. It makes me tearful just thinking about this. I am going to be able to hold my baby from day one. Day One! That is going to be so wonderful and those early days are moments I really really want to cherish.

There is so much to think about that I cannot think about until she is here and know for certain how I am going to feel.

I have spoken to various people about this all who have different opinions and ideas of their own.

Some people allowed immediate family to visit between certain times each day, some people had an open house right from the start, others had a week home alone and then let people visit starting with immediate family and then friends.

I think what I would like is to not feel any pressure to allow people to visit. I would like to invite people when I am ready to see them. I have a feeling that to begin with I really will just want to be home alone with my husband and my children until I know how I am going to be.

I am hoping that our hospital stay will be too short for visitors to the hospital. Ideally I would like to stay the minimum six hours on the midwife led unit and then come home.

I would then like a few days at home just with David, Esther and William before we invite our parents around. We will know when we are ready and I know that they will understand the reasons that we are asking them to wait.

Once our parents, Baby’s Grandparents, have been then we would invite Godmother Michele along with David’s siblings.

I think that all of these people will understand the need to wait until we, I, am ready. I know that they also all understand our desire to keep things as normal as possible for Esther and William.

They will also know to keep their visits short and will bring lovely things like cake!

Bounty have a great section on their website about visiting newborn babies.

This is not the time to worry about offending anyone – it’s up to you who is welcome in the very early days, and when. If you do decide you’d like time as a family – or ‘babymoon’ – before everyone descends on you bearing pale blue or pink parcels, tell family and friends in advance so they have time to get used to the idea…

… On the other hand, you might feel so excited that your baby is finally here that you want to show them off to everyone immediately, as mum-of-four Coral did: “With our first we were crazy – we were so excited, we arranged a party in our hospital room! I was so overwhelmed and tired I didn’t know what to do with myself. Needless to say with the next three we kept visitors to an absolute minimum and staggered it. I think that it’s best to give people time slots and tell them that they can’t stay long.”

Mum of twins Mel, who was in hospital for a week after the birth, says visitors were managed by her partner “on a fairly strict rota”. It can be enormously helpful if your partner can act as the ‘gatekeeper’, not only managing who comes and when, but canceling if you are just not up to it, and making sure people don’t hang around for hours.

Whether you view visitors as an opportunity to introduce everyone to your pride and joy as soon as possible, an inconvenience, or as life-saving helpers with the baby and around the house, the most important thing is that visitors in the early days are on your terms. There will be plenty of time for cuddles in the years to come.

I am worried about Esther and William. I am worried that if too many people come for too long they will get so used to all the extra attention that it will actually make things harder for me in the long run than easier. In a very short time Daddy will be back at home, the visitors will stop and I will be left with entertaining all three of them on my own. This will be much easier if they have not become accustomed to having people in the house all day every day for a few weeks. We need to keep things calm and normal as much as we can.

When David is back to work then I will welcome visits from friends. Once I have recovered a bit from the actual birth and feel that bit more confident.

I think it is going to be hard and I know that I may well need some help in the weeks and months ahead but I am also determined that it will be on my terms.

I have been thinking about this far too much.

I could go on and on about my worries and concerns. My ideals. My fears. The things I am looking forward to, the things I am not.

I just need Baby to arrive now so we can get on rather than me going over and over everything in my mind.

I think she is staying put for a while yet though. She seems quite happy tucked up safely inside. Little Matilda Bump … we are desperate to meet you!

Has any of this struck a chord with you?
What did you do about visitors with your little one?
What will you do if Baby is due soon?

I would love people to share their thoughts.

2 weeks to go!