It started yesterday with an intense and sudden feeling that we are just not ready to bring our new baby home.

A feeling so strong that our house is unclean and needs to be stripped and scrubbed from top to bottom.

A feeling so strong that our house is full of rubbish that needs to either be thrown or at least tidied away.

After a calming cuddle and crying a few tears I regained my sense of normality.

Only to be overtaken by the same intense rush a few hours later when I insisted on completely emptying our lounge to hoover the floor and create a corner for Baby.

The floor remained clean until the toddlers’ next snack time but the space for Baby has stayed. It is clean and empty and ready for her moses basket to be placed there and a few baskets of baby essentials and toys.

Is this nesting? This slightly surreal feeling of panic and pressure to make everything tidy and clean?

If so I do not like it. I am not feeling loving or homely but slightly manic and obsessed. The feelings come in such short bursts that they do not give me time to accomplish anything useful, just stress myself out and disturb everybody around me.

Today I am feeling all of my 37 weeks pregnant. People keep telling me how well I look and how small I am but I feel exhausted. Yet energetic at the same time. It is really very weird. I have been quite breathless today but it has been a busy morning.

The summer term began today and so Esther and William are back at all their classes. This is great as it gives us a focus each day and makes us get out of the house but it is tough getting us all out on time in the morning even with Daddy’s help as it takes me so long to even put some socks on!

I am feeling a bit flat today too because I think I had banked on her being here by now. Today I saw a lady who was due the same day as me pushing her little one round our village in a pram.

A pram! A pram! I still do not have a pram!

I have organised one good thing though. A local company is coming to our house this week to steam clean our car seats, carry cots and buggy. That will be one thing off my mind. I would love to get the inside of my car valeted but think I may have to settle for doing this horrid job myself.

Also this week I need to pack David’s bag for the hospital and an overnight bag for Esther and William. They will actually be staying in our house with Granny but I think if I pack a few essentials in one place it will make life easier for everyone. I think I am in danger of being over organised?!?

And yet in some areas not organised at all!

Does anyone else feel like this?

You Got Me Feeling Emotions!