So with approximately 12 weeks to go panic is setting in that I am not going to be able to cope with three babies under three.
A discussion with my lovely husband has really put the spotlight on that tonight and the fact that we may need some help.
David works from home and so finds himself drawn into our day and I have become reliant on him for helping get the buggy loaded and out the door in the morning and for taking over at the end of the day to give the babies their tea and bath whilst I get things organised.
But work is busy for David and he needs to be working full days meaning that I have to stop asking him for help.
I need to make this work on my own or I need to find help from someone else.
I think that I have become over reliant on David because he is there.
I also think that I have lost a lot of confidence in my own abilities in part because it is just so easy to call for David to come downstairs.
I seem to forget that I am actually quite a capable individual who is more than able to look after her children from 8 – 5 everyday. I used to teach 30 children from 9 – 3 and we all used to survive the days alright!
Part of the problem is that I have not been able to drive and going to to a 45 minute music class at 10.30 has involved being out the house at 8.30 to embark on a two hour journey to the class and then a two hour journey home.
The babies are often napping in the buggy whilst I am walking for miles to ensure that they are able to stay asleep.
All of this becomes much easier when I have a car.
No more walking three miles to a class, no more hanging around freezing cold train stations, just those two things in themselves will improve the quality of our days.
I can also keep a packed change bag in the car along with a buggy and when things are getting just a bit too much I can throw the twins in the car and we can go … wherever we want.
I think that a car is going to make such a difference and I want to see how that goes before I let out a cry for help.
I know that in the final weeks of pregnancy and early days of baby it is going to be particularly hard but people do it. And I know that I can do it too. We may have to adapt our days a little but as the weather gets warmer that becomes easier as we can play in the garden or at the park. Also, as Esther and William become more confident walkers we can go to nice places to practice walking.
I am not saying that I am not going to need help but my options are limited.
My parents live in Spain so having help from my Mum involves her coming to live with us which I really don’t want.
I have contacted Home Start to see if they can offer some support for a few hours a week.
We already have a cleaner for four hours a week.
I think the main thing is getting prepared and organised and not expecting too much from myself in the later weeks of pregnancy and early weeks of being a Mummy of three babies under two.
I would love to hear how other people have coped, made it work. I would love to know any tips for surviving the third trimester with toddlers and how to prepare toddlers for the arrival of their sister.
Prepared and organised. That is what I need to be.
And I need to have a change of attitude and believe in myself and make myself do it without relying on David.
I can do it, I know I can.
I love Esther and William so much. They can be incredibly hard work some days but they are mine and I want to be the one that is there for them.
Prepared and Organised. I need to make a plan!
Helping Hand
Jennie, you will be fine I promise. If you have managed with twins and no car- then massive hats off to you! I have no idea how I would have kept sane without my car, nor thought about journeys on public transport. If you have managed to co-ordinate so much then you will find life with three little ones and a car like a transfer of co-ordination!
I’m not wanting to make a call on David’s view on this, but I work from home a few days a week and travel the others. It is difficult, I yearn for my little ones. I welcome the odd distraction of helping out over lunch, or loading the car that you mention- it’s a breather from work and it’s contact- a smile, a giggle, a cuddle- which means I go back into the office a lot more re-energised. The days I work away are easier on the one hand, but make me aware of how fortunate I am to have these stolen moments.
There will be so many good times, and times when you need a brick wall for your head… but you will have the three most amazing children to cherish- You did that!! x
You can do this!
Just an idea, but have you contacted your local College as all Childcare students do a family placement which involves helping out a family with young children, although they can’t be left on their own with them. But they would be able to offer you another pair of hands at crucial times!
Yes I have not looked into this but I think I might. I quite like the idea of having a student would remind me of being a student mentor when I was teaching. I will have a look. Thank you x
I am sure your new baby will fit in perfectly and things will be much easier than you anticipate, confidence is a huge thing and Im sure homestart will beable to give you that because thats what they do, give support and friendship and restore confidence, I remember feeling intimadated each time i was pregnant, wondering how I would cope, especially with my 2nd and 3rd babies, wondering if i could fit everything in ontop of an already stretched day, give my love and attention to another little one, but it always worked out, new born babies do just fit in and you are an amazing mother and will be just fine, already planning and knowing that help is around should you need it. you’ll be great!
Hope you get this as I am doing it via phone and it doesnt always work. I work from home and although both mine are at school now, in the holidays if my other half is off with them and they are in the house, those odd little breaks where I can go and help are sooo nice! I see the boys, I get 10 minutes away from my desk and I get to see other people! Also when I had my 2nd I was very poorly and struggling to cope with no one around to help and our health visitor contacted the local college (I think it wasthe college) to see if they could place a student with us – it didnt work out as there were non-available in our area but it might be good for you, although you would need to be in the house with them. My friend also advertised for a mothers help and she has a lady come in and help a couple of hours aday – she is retired, her daughter lives miles away and she never sees her Grandchildren, my friend doesn’t know how she would survive not without her, this lady loves it as it gets her out of the house and she adores the kids.
Thank you for such a lovely reply. I love the idea of having a Grandma type figure coming round a few hours a week to take care of us all. I am about to write up a description of the perfect person that I want. I don’t plan to do anything with it yet but wouldn’t it be wonderful if he or she just turned up like Mary Poppins? I only want someone a few hours a week as I love the time I have with my childrenbut some days I am so exhausted that someone coming for a cup of tea and to give the twins some one to one attention would be really lovely x Thank you x