11.8.2010

A mixed start this morning!

Jane has William today and Tracy has Esther (two nurses that we know and like) so should be a good day!  The staff really can make or break your day!

Jane made us aware that if they need space in NICU over the next couple of days William will need to be moved to Nursery 2 – the high dependency ward.  This is positive, it means that he is well enough to make the move but does also mean that our babies will be on separate wards as Esther is not well enough to move.  So our time then will become split between NICU, Nursery 2 and being useful at home!

Today William’s cares are due at 11am and 5pm.  He will try for 2 hours off CPAP at 3pm.  Esther’s cares are due at 12pm and 6pm.  She will hopefully have an hour off later today.  William’s CPAP is just air, Esther has 26% oxygen support.  Come on little Star!

The twins are 30 weeks today.  I would have been 30 weeks pregnant. still with 8 weeks to go!  I still don’t think I have got my head around this whole situation.  I am a Mum!

David and I are sat in the lounge waiting for the doctors as they do their round.  We are not allowed on the ward while they discuss other babies so wait patiently until the turn is ours, but often they forget to call us in and we are just left, left waiting!  We are getting very used to waiting.  Waiting and wondering, wondering what will be!

The doctors are pleased with William and Esther.  They will just carry on with their planned care. 

William was desaturating a lot this morning and could not settle.  I found that he had a very dirty nappy.  Once clean and dry he settled easily.  Love him!  William is so funny.  When the doctors and nurses see him he does not make a fuss but he does try to push them away or hides his face with his hands.  Wherever a stethoscope is placed he grabs on to it and tries to help with the examination.  It is very funny to watch.  He really is rather cute!  Jane thinks he will be a handful when we get him home as he is quite a stubborn, feisty little thing.  I love him even more for that!

There is talk of putting William’s feeds up some more if he loses weight again over night.  At the moment he is on 150ml per kilo, they may change that to 180ml per kilo – this is the feed ratio that Esther is already on.

After expressing at 11.30am Jane told me that William is moving today.  He is advancing to Nursery 2 but Esther has to stay behind for at least a couple of days.  I am so pleased for William but feel so bad for Esther, and for me, have to spread myself even thinner now!  Plan my time each day between two babies in separate rooms. 

Here is my plan for the rest of today:

1.00 – with Esther; 2.00 lunch and express milk; 3.00 – with William including cares; 5.00 – with Esther including cares

Who knows what I will be able to do tomorrow!?!

I asked Jane if the babies cares could be staggered so that I am able to care for both of them in their separate wards. 

Esther is definitely not well enough for the move though.  She was desaturating regularly on 27% oxygen.  The nurses tried to keep the levels up but she just could not do it.  It was very scary.  She had lost CPAP pressure and no one knew why.  Esther was getting very distressed and her heart rate was soaring.  They did manage to settle her just as William was moved.

I cried when I first went in to the other nursery.  William is so tiny compared to the other babies in there.  I also am worried that other parents will get cross with us beeping all the time.  Now that William has graduated things are going to be quite different!

After William’s move I had a very short cuddle with Esther whilst her incubator was changed.  It was lovely!  She really relaxed so her heart rate came down and her oxygen level was high.  It was wonderful to see. 

After the cuddle I checked that William was settled and then came to spend some time with Esther while she was off her CPAP.  It was the first time that I had seen her face for a few days.  Whilst off CPAP she was on 25% ambient oxygen and she was doing okay.

It is horrible only being able to see one baby at a time.  I guess it gives us something to do during the doctors’ round now, be in the other room with our other baby! Oh!  It is horrible!  I can’t imagine what it must be like to bring home one baby before the other?!?  Hopefully we won’t ever find out!

I read Esther some poems while she was off CPAP, some about school and some classical poetry too including The Listeners by Walter de la Mare and If by Rudyard Kipling.  I also found a wonderful poem that I liked for Julie’s wedding.  I will email it to her tonight as she should be home by now.

At 3pm David arrived because he had not been able to get through to me on the phone.  He also wanted to drive our new car!!!  The new car is lovely and plenty big enough for our family of four!  It also has a dog guard which David says we can keep for possible future use!

At 5pm Esther came out for a cuddle with her Dad, then at 6pm David got a cuddle with William too.  I went to do Esther’s cares before she was settled snug for the night.

The atmosphere in NICU was awful.  Poor Maya is battling.  All the doctors are trying to help her.  Her parents are just so worried and distraught with so many questions that they want and need answered.  I hope that Baby Maya will be okay.  I offered her parents to stay at our house should they need to as their own house is so far away.  Seeing them and all that they are going through makes me realise how lucky David and I are to have our Esther and William.

Sleep well Babies.  All babies everywhere, sleep well, grow big and strong x