7.8.2010

David and I should have got married today!  It is raining though so not such a good day for a wedding!

Had a good but tiring day with Julie yesterday.  Think I will be having a Dessy bridesmaid dress – price permitting!

Julie, David and I got to the hospital at 9am this morning.  William seems much improved.  He is going up to 7mls of milk hourly today and 8mls tonight when hopefully his long line will also be taken out.  He is back on normal CPAP but with some oxygen support.  He looks healthier and seems to be having less desaturations.

Esther is continuing to do well and will continue on 8mls of milk an hour and 3 hours twice daily off CPAP. 

William is allowed off CPAP for cares and possibly for a short period later in the day.  The doctor is pleased with both of them and doesn’t want to change too much or push too hard.

At 10.15am Dave went home, before that we had read Esther and William their stories.  Julie enjoyed them too.  Julie and I went to the canteen for a bacon sandwich and to meet Mum and Dad.  At 10.40 we all came back up so I could do Esther and William’s cares, with them all watching me!  The nurse offered to let me cuddle William but I refused whilst they were there.  It is a special time that I want to enjoy on my own, just me and William.  They left at 11.30 and I did some milk before settling in for the afternoon with my babies!

Today’s reading for both babies is Martin Waddell – Owl Babies; Dr Seuss – Oh the Places You’ll Go! and Jill Murphy – The Large Family stories.

Esther will be off CPAP at 1pm for 3 hours so I will read to her then.  I am reading to William now.

Both babies continued desaturating throughout the day, the doctor thinks this is due to their prematurity and is not overly worried.  Doesn’t stop me worrying though.  I love them so much!

Sat and worked out wedding numbers today.  I think it comes to 107 adults and 11 children under the age of 8.  Now need to work out who of those we will invite to the christening!?!  The christening will be at the church and then maybe at The Swan or in The Church Barn.  It will be January so quite cold.  I can’t wait!  There is so much to look forward to with these precious two.

Cuddles did not go well with Esther today.  She ws struggling to breathe and to get enough oxygen.  She was making horrible rasping noises as she exhaled.  It was horrible and she had to go back in her cot.  It made me feel like such a bad mother because my cuddles seemed to be the cause of the problem but the nurse said that it is probably just a bad day.  Poor little Star!  She seems quite pale today.  The nurse said that the paleness is caused by their not being enough oxygen in her blood.  Once back in her incubator with 25% oxygen Esther was able to settle and regulate her breathing. 

This whole process is so tough emotionally.  I hate it!  I just want them to be older and better so that I can take them home!

Both babies had new CPAP tubes today.  They are renewed every week. 

They have both gained weight too.  Esther is about 2lbs 5 and a half ounces and William is almost 3lbs.  It is very exciting to see them grow, just so disheartening when things go wrong or not to plan.  I just feel so useless sometimes!  All the nurses were very nice to me today as I sat and cried after Esther’s episode.  Poor little Star!  This is such an emotional rollercoaster and we are only 2 weeks in.  There are still so many ups and downs to go.  I went to the toilet for a good cry and then I came back and read Esther her postcard from Granny Henley, and some stories.  She was much more settled by then, even with a dirty nappy!  I will change her once she is back on her CPAP. 

After lunch and milk I had a lovely cuddle with William.  Once I put him back I read him two stories from The Large Family collection which he seemed to enjoy.  Then it was Esther’s turn for cares.  I did her mouth, washed her face, oiled the skin on her arms and legs then changed her filthy nappy.  I then read her final story of the day, The Owl Babies. 

David arrived at 5pm, just in time to do William’s cares and have a lovely cuddle with his son.  It was very emotional to see David cuddling William for the first time.  I read Oh The Places You’ll Go to David and William as they sat together.  Was a lovely way to end the day.  I love my little family, I really do!