Neurodiversity Celebration Week and Mother’s Day

“Every child is different. Some are loud,
They love talking and showing off.
Others are quiet and like to be on their own.
Some have differences that you can see, while others
Have differences that may not be so obvious.
We are all unique. We all have our own lives, our own dreams,
And our own talents. Let’s see what we can do.”
Jon Roberts

As Mother’s Day draws to a close
I want to reach out to parents of neurodivergent children
I want you to know that parenting children with special needs
With learning difficulties
With hidden disabilities
Can be so challenging and so lonely
I see you
You are doing an AMAZING job!

My twins are 11 and they are beautiful human beings
I am honoured to be their mummy
And they make me proud every day
But parenting them is relentless
Exhausting
Exhilarating but exhausting
And I am never ever sure if I am getting it right

I am so grateful that my miracle twins are here
Born at just 27 weeks I know that we are lucky to have them here
As a mother who has experienced loss
I try very hard not to moan about motherhood
Or complain about parenting
Having children was not easy for me
And my start to motherhood was not what I dreamed
In fact nothing about parenting has been what I thought it might be
I have had to adjust what I thought life might be like A LOT

I am learning every day how to parent my neurodivergent children
And that learning curve is steep
Some days are really hard
And that is hard to admit
Because I love my children
And I want to be the very best parent that I can be
I want to give them the very best chances to have a wonderful life
I want to make sure they have the opportunity to try all the things they want to try
I want to be able to guide them and help them navigate their teenage years
Years which seem to be coming round far too soon

Between them the twins have ASD, ADD, ADHD and dyslexia
They are kind, gentle children
They both have a wonderful sense of humour
William is all about maths, science, history and computers
Esther is all about art, nature and being creative
They both devour books
Which makes so proud
Especially of Esther, for who reading can be so hard

William is very sensitive and emotional
Esther shows very little emotion
William is loud and excitable
Esther is quiet and calm
William is fast and fizzy
Esther is slow and dreamy

They both have special interests
Passions that become obsessions
This is something I find hard sometimes
They talk non stop about their special thing
They write about it, draw it, read it, create it, play it
It threads through everything
It is a gift
But to an outsider
It can be difficult to comprehend
And the repetition can grind
It is not something I find easy to admit
That the thing they feel so passionate about, so invested in
To others, to me, can be annoying
When their passions are shared they can feel out of reach sometimes
I think that is a neurodivergent twin thing

There are lots of challenges with the twins
Academic and social
Helping them to look after their own health and hygiene as they grow
Helping them to understand the world around them
They are clever children
Bright and curious
But they need a lot more support than the world might suppose
On the outside looking in
Especially Esther
She would be swallowed and lost at school
Her differences are well masked
Her disabilities well hidden
I worry for her

There are lots of positives and things to celebrate for the twins too
Their amazing imaginations
Their creativity
Their kindness and compassion
Their ability to empathise with others
Their self awareness
Their tender natures
Their determination and resilience
Esther is an amazing problem solver
A creative thinker
William is a wonderful writer
He has an amazing memory
A hunger for facts and figures

They lift me up in so many ways
They make me want to be a better person
They make me want to make the world a better place
For them
For all my children
For all children
Everywhere

As Neurodiversity Celebration Week ends
As Mother’s Day draws to a close
I want to reach out to parents of neurodivergent children
I want you to know that parenting children with special needs
With learning difficulties
With hidden disabilities
Can be so challenging and so lonely
I see you
You are doing an AMAZING job!

“The most interesting people you’ll find are ones that don’t fit into your average cardboard box. They’ll make what they need, they’ll make their own boxes,”
Dr. Temple Grandin

“What makes a child gifted and talented may not always be good grades in school, but a different way of looking at the world and learning,”
Chuck Grassley

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