David only had one Fathers’ Day with Tilda
She was less than two months old
We miss our daughter every day
But on special days
Important occasions
We feel her absence even more
As our extended family comes together
It is so obvious that she is missing
Not rolling down the hill with the other children
Not clambering up and sliding down
One seat too few in the car
One mouth too few to feed
We miss Matilda for the baby she was
And the child she now should be
I find it so hard to write David’s cards
Putting a star where a name should be
Writing the name of our girl in the sky
Still feels the right thing to me
We miss Matilda for the baby she was
For all the things she did
But on day’s like today we also think
Of all the things she has missed
No first steps
No first word
No first time on a slide
We will never see her swim
Never see her run
She will never have a bike to ride
David will never hold her hand
As she bounces on a wobbly bridge
He will never take her sailing with Granddad Beard
Like all the other children did
He cannot sit with her on his lap
She will never choose a story to read
She’ll never ride shoulders or piggy back
She will never fall, never graze, never bleed
Matilda will never ask us why
Again and again and again
She will never make us laugh or cry
Make us feel like a day will never end
She will never collapse in a heap with her siblings
Negotiate what to watch on TV
No rough and tumble
One less snotty nose
Less laughter and smiling
Less tantrums thrown
One missing from photos
One missing from tea
Always a trick of light
In the gap
Where she clearly should be
Our daughter died as a baby
There is so much of her we’ll never see
We have a daughter we will never know
We have a daughter that can never grow
We have a daughter but we said goodbye
To our beautiful daughter who lives in the sky
We miss Matilda every day
But on special days
Important occasions
We feel her absence even more
On Fathers’ Day my heart breaks for Tilda
And for how incredibly brave her Daddy must be
One missing kiss
One missing hug
One missing daughter
One missing Matilda
On Fathers’ Day
And every day
One missing Matilda Mae
Thinking of all of you today, brave Jennie. x
Thinking of you xxx
Thinking of you and your family x
Sending such love to you all
Special days really must be so hard on you all x
Much hugs and love