I complain a lot from day to day
I think I always have
I am not proud of it at all
In fact it is one of many things I hate about myself
One of many things I want to change
I think that I do it for attention
A cry for help?
For someone to notice that life is tough
But what I have learned since Tilda died
No before that
From starting IVF
Is that I had never known what tough was
Now life can be hard
Really really hard
And I have reason to complain
But I don’t complain about the big stuff
It is the day to day
It is verbalising all the little frustrations in life
And getting them out is healthier than keeping them in
But it is David that hears it all
I do not have anyone else
I am not a telephone speaker
I absolutely hate being on the phone
Which makes things tricky
When you have no family close by
My mum lives in Spain
And so we do not see her all that often
She cannot help with the children after school
She cannot pop round for a cup of tea and a chat
We cannot go to Nana’s house for a change of scene
She cannot help when one of us is ill
We do not see each other enough to talk about the day to day
It is the same with my sister
Who though not in another country
Lives very far away
And though we love each other dearly
I would not say we are close
Like other sisters I know and see are close
We can’t be when we live so far apart
And I think that is what I have noticed as I have had children of my own
I do not have that closeness with anyone of my own
I have David’s Mum
I have my best friend
Who I joke plays the role of Mum and sister for me
But she has family of her own to support
I do not have anyone of my own for me
Whose first thought is not to care for David or for my children
But for me
I read about people who visit their Mum once a week
I see the sisters on our school playground
Who raise their children together
And I know that is something I will never have
And something that I miss
David is a wonderful father
And an amazing husband
But he is, at the end of the day, a man
He does not like it when I complain
He is not one for chit chat
He does not understand outburst of emotion
I am not sure complain is the right word
You know when you just talk things through
When you ‘go on’
I am not explaining it right
But it is something for me that is missing
That makes a difference to my life
And that I think about on Mothers’ Day
I love you Mum
Mothers’ Day and always
Though it may not always seem so
I do
And I miss you
And what might have been
With no mum or other female relatives, I have the same problem with a lack of feminine chit chat. My husband is great and very supportive but I know what you mean, it’s not quite the same.
Luckily you have thousands of mums on this blog listening, nodding their heads, smiling and commiserating with you. Hopefully the scientists will soon master the teleportation thing and we can all have a cup of tea together too.
Sophie (no sister and mother living 2000 miles away) — http://www.workingmotheroftheyear.com
How I wished I lived closer. I know exactly what you mean.
Men never get chit chat no matter how lovely they are. We need a day/lunch or evening out together, it’s been a while. With or without Bea x x x
I was so lucky to have my mum around this past week as I was stuck in bed with flu, but usually I am like you, no one near but friends. We don’t even have OH’s family to fall back on. It is hard being far from real family and sometimes I do wonder what we are missing out on.
Oh this could be me writing this (apart from the Mum part-we live close and she does help out a fair amount, but I would say we don’t have a really, really close relationship as much as we love each other as to this day I don’t really talk to her about everything). James gets annoyed when I go on as I am one to complain a lot too! x
Yes I can be a bit moany too. Husband just doesn’t get it. He works long days and has nights away a lot, so I’m looking after two children one 2.5yrs the other almost 11 most of the time on my own. And it’s hard. Anyway, I know what you mean. You just want to talk about stuff and it helps get it off your chest. Men just aren’t very interested! X
Wow, what a beautiful post.
Mother’s Day is a lovely day, I love my Mummy too!