Baby Bea, our grumpy chunk of a Rainbow Baby

Was born beautiful and healthy on Tuesday 5th August 2014

We arrived home from hospital on Wednesday 6th August

Just after tea time and in time to say goodnight to Esther and William

And properly introduce them to ‘the new baby’

Baby Bea

Once Esther and William were safely in bed

We had dinner with Granny and Granddad

Before going early to bed

It was good to be home

I felt very tired

Having had no sleep on the postnatal ward

I also felt very overwhelmed with bringing baby home

Esther and William were so so excited

I was trying to be a good mummy to Esther and William

While feeling incredibly over protective of our newborn babe

We were all so tired from our hospital experience

That we had a good first night

It was good to be home

Bea slept sometimes in her Snuzpod

But mostly on me

I am a real believer in the fourth trimester

That mummy and baby are happiest and healthiest together

And so far that is working for us

I love having Bea close to me

In my arms, on my chest

At my breast

Hearing her breathing and snuffling around

Being able to see and feel her breathe

With the help of our Gro-light

So far, for every night of her life

Baby Bea has slept with me

(If you are considering co-sleeping, please do so safely!)

For the first five or so days

We kept on the hospital apnoea monitor

But now we use a Hero monitor from Snuza

We have been really pleased with this monitor

It has only given a few false alarms

And these have been due to us not attaching the monitor correctly

The monitor provides peace of mind

And allows David and I to get a little sleep

Bea feeds really well

She latched on perfectly as soon as she was born

And we have never looked back

When the midwife weighed her on Day 5 she had gained 20 grams

And by Day 14 she weighed a whopping 9lb 12oz

And we have been discharged

This is my fourth baby

Not only am I feeding on demand

But feeding while walking round the house

And doing other tasks

The midwife saw me doing this

Watched Bea and I together

And said, “You are doing brilliantly

You do not need me”

I love feeding Bea

I love breastfeeding

It is something that comes very naturally to me

And I had forgotten the bond with baby that it gives

The cuddles, the closeness

There is nothing else quite like it in the world

Bea is wonderful

Her first two weeks with us have flown by

In a haze of feeding and nappy changing

And remembering how to be with a baby in my arms

I have spent a lot of the last two weeks

Focused on the baby

And I am ready now to start doing more

I miss being with Esther and William

I remember the feeling when Tilda was first born

Of feeling a bit left out of family life

As Daddy took the reins

David is an amazing husband

And a very involved father

He is in every way the head of our household

Especially since Tilda died

The past two weeks

He has steered the ship

Particularly with regard to Esther and William

Esther and William love their baby sister very much

Every single day they ask if she will stay

They also ask me every day if I remember Baby Tilda

They tell us how much they love and miss Baby Tilda

And they tell us how much they like a baby that stays

They are working really hard to process what has happened

What is happening

And how they feel about it all

It is proving to be a bumpy ride

As Esther and William accept how our family is changing

Has changed

We have had lots of help

Through our first two weeks with Baby Bea

David’s parents have been amazing

My aunty and uncle have visited too

Both Bea’s Godmothers have been to meet her

And she has met some uncles, aunties and cousins too

Ami from Beebies Baby Store has been round a few times

And we have even ventured out!

Baby Bea has the most beautiful pram

She is the first baby in the UK

To own a Cosattto Ooba Kimono

It is a stunning pram

Perfect for a baby girl

Bea loves the pram

She sleeps well in the spacious carry cot

And when awake loves staring at the bright floral print

I think she loves the bright colours and contrast in the design

Mummy loves it too!

I felt so proud walking around Leeds Castle

With such a special pram

And such precious cargo

What a whirlwind our first two weeks have been

What an emotional rollercoaster

Getting to know Bea

Missing Matilda Mae more than ever

All finding our new place within our family

It has been easier than I thought it might be

Bea has become one of us

I cannot imagine life now without her

I cannot believe I thought I might not love her

I adore her

We all do

Our new baby

Our Rainbow Baby

Baby Bea