On Friday evening
David and I
With Esther and William and some close friends
Went back to the place where we celebrated our wedding
The hall where we danced
All afternoon, through the evening and into the night as husband and wife
Husband and wife with a secret baby bump
This dance
Less than three years on
Was very different indeed
Though many of the same people were there
The Baby Tilda Barn Dance
Was a wonderful whirlwind
An emotional and exhausting day
But our hard work paid off
I think
It is hard to tell after all the months of work
If people enjoyed it or not
But I hope that they did
And I am so grateful to everyone who came along
Some people travelled for hours, days
To be with us
From across the country and beyond our borders
Over the seas!
Thank you
Everyone
On the eve of the barn dance the magic began
As we took things we would need to the hall
And started to fly the pink and purple flags
Now so symbolic of Matilda Mae
As the children rolled down the grassy banks
I took a moment to remember
To look back
And forward
Just Tilda, Rainbow and me
On Saturday morning we were at the hall by 9
Balloons were blown
Flags flown
Fairy lights lit
And the hall adorned with sparkles and stars
Raffle prizes were displayed
The marquee was erected
And then filled with Beebies Baby Store delights
Friends and family came together
And worked hard
To get The Baby Tilda Barn Dance off the ground
At 12.00 we were just ready
As the doors opened
And our guests began to arrive
I have to admit that the day passed in a blur for me
A blur of smiles and tears
Giggles and heartbreak
I was wearing a very special Matilda in Wonderland dress from Babes with Babies
And every time I tried to tell people about it
I started to breakdown
I missed our beautiful daughter so much that day
Seeing many of her little friends
Joining in the festive fun
Made me realise how much she and we were missing
God bless you Matilda Mae
The hall filled quickly
People spilled out into the play tent
And onto the field beyond
Children explored the play park
Families ate picnics and BBQ and ice cream
There were buckets of drinks donated by our sponsors
And crates of colourful toddler snacks
Pots of bubbles were dotted around
And bountiful balloons
Enough for all the children to have one or two or three
Throughout the day
Esther and William accidentally released a few of their balloons
They brought me to tears more than once
As they shouted to the skies
‘There you go Baby Tilda. I got that balloon for you’
It makes me well up writing this now
Thinking how much they love and miss their sister
And how much it means to all of us
To remember her the way that we do
The Dr Zigs giant bubbles were a favourite thing
Sending rainbow kisses to the sky
Catch them Baby Tilda
They are filled with our love and memories of you
In the glorious sunshine
Of this late spring day
The final day of our Month of Mae
Children crafted
Hooked ducks
Had their faces painted
Everyone was taking part
And enjoying the fun of the fair
While inside the hall the music played
And the barn dancing began
How we danced
We swung and skipped
And tried to gallop!
We even had a go
At do-si-do
We weaved and winded
Up and down
We clapped and slapped
Til our hands were sore
Some of us were much better than others
But we all smiled and laughed
We all had fun
But we also all remembered
Exactly why we were there
In the dappled sunlight
People were so generous with the raffle
The people and companies who donated prizes
The lovely ladies who spent much of their day selling tickets
And the fabulous people who were so grateful for the prizes that they won
It was also an honour on Saturday
To meet the very beautiful Emma from Cosatto
And officially receive the cheque for £1329
That Cosatto have raised for The Lullaby Trust in memory of Matilda Mae
Cosatto also donated a Giggle All Star Travel System to the raffle
The raffle that raised a little over £842 on the day for The Lullaby Trust
Thank you all
With all my heart
Thank you
Between the raffles we partied more
Young master William loved the dancing
And it was a joy to watch him
And see the happiness on his face
Magical moments from the day
Were captured by Virtual Booth
Thanks to the lovely ladies at Bump PR
The photo booth was fantastic family fun
And helped people make memories to treasure for always
As the day turned to evening
The lights twinkled across the stage like stars
Reflected on the sea of pink and purple flags
People gathered together
Their little ones in their arms
To sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
And to take a moment
To really remember the reason we were all here
Because one of us was missing
One so small
Taken too soon
One bright shining star
One little baby
Who should now be a toddler
Our beautiful Matilda Mae
As Classical Babies began to play
The tears began to fall
And there was no stopping them
I wept and wept
One daughter in my arms, one daughter in my womb
One daughter in the sky
I wept and wept as I am sobbing now
For the cruelty of any baby having to die
For the pain and heartache in everything I do
Because my daughter died
Aged just 9 months
Suddenly and unexpectedly in her sleep
Leaving us behind
Leading us to this day
A dance in her honour
Raising money for the charity that may one day be able to tell us why she died
Why our baby daughter died
So here you go Lullaby Trust
We danced the dance
We remembered her and honoured her
Together
We raised £1429
I am not sure of the total we have raised these past 16 months
With all the walks and the marathons, the sky dives and the dances
I think the total is now close to £35,000
Please use it wisely
And I hope that one day
There will be a reason
For why our baby
And so many others like her
Have to die
God bless you Matilda Mae
Be at peace x
There are so many people I need and would like to thank for their contributions to The Baby Tilda Barn Dance especially Ami, from Beebies Baby Store. I will be back with perosnal thank yous but for now, thank you everyone for all your support and for remembering Matilda Mae.
Oh Jennie I am sobbing reading this, finding it so hard to write threw a stream of tears. I hugged you that day and could have hugged you all day just to make sure you were ok and not feeling alone. It was a wonderful day enjoyed by all, and importantly we all remembered Matilda, as many of us always will. Your beautiful blog baby, means so much to us all. Im so happy that I was also to contribute to the total money raised, the raffles were amazing and it was lovely to win, though I wouldn’t have minded if I didn’t. Take care Jennie, till next time. ((Hugs)) xx
Another one in tears here too! As I read this I wished with all my heart that this had not been necessary, that we would be reading about Matilda’s escapades.
But I will never see another balloon that sails to the sky from it’s holder’s hand and think oh no, poor child has lost a balloon, I will now be thinking that it is going up to Matilda and all the other children in the sky so that they can have a balloon too and join in a party somewhere around the world.
It was such an honour as it always is, to be part of such a special, beautiful day in Tilda’s memory. We all enjoyed the day so much, from beginning to end. A very happy, happy family memory for my half term with my boys. Matilda Mae is so very, very good at getting this city girl out of her town-house cocoon into the countryside and fresh air to make magic memories with her boys that they’ll remember forever. So many things have happened for my family that wouldn’t have happened but for her…. I think of these days as precious gifts that she sends us with a smile from heaven xxxxx
We were thinking of you all dancing for Matilda Mae that day … wishing we could have been there, wishing it wasn’t happening at all, glad that it was in her memory and sad it wasn’t with her running amongst your guests, but knowing that she was there with you all, in you all, catching the balloons and bubbles and love that were sent her way.
Congratulations on all you’ve achieved Jennie, you have done so much to introduce the world to your magical daughter and to raise funds in her memory to help work towards other families going through the heartbreak you have … I know you don’t like being called inspirational but in our eyes you are … Ellie and Hope x
It was a wonderful day. You did Matlida Mae proud. And what a fantastic amount of money raised xxx
Jennie I can’t see the keys for tears. I truly can’t stop. I am so glad Chloe and I could make it, but so sorry we couldn’t stay for the end to hear Twinkle, Twinkle. For me it was the bubbles; seeing David create huge bubbles then watching his face turn to the sky and see them blow away up to your darling daughter. My heart ached for you all. What you have done over the last 16 months is nothing short of incredible. To turn your pain into something so productive, so important, so selfless. To potentially save the lives of so many other babies, and save many other parents going through what you have.
Sadly I am one of those people whom you mention in posts and comments. One that never knows what to say so then says nothing. I am so sorry. I thought of nothing but Matilda on Saturday, and she fills my thoughts at some point every single day. It makes me so sad to think of the friendship she and Chloe would have had. Two little pickles getting up to mischief together I’ve no doubt. I am so so pleased Chloe is in one of your photos from Matilda’s special day (typically pinching lots of toddler snacks admittedly!). And I had not realised until I looked at the photos that her dress was covered in stars! 🙂
Take care of yourself.
Lots of love always xxx
It looks like it was a fantastic event, and well done for raising so much money for the cause too. Tilda must be very proud of her family xxx
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